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ThatGirrl! · Mar 3, 2010, 04:12 PM

Okay so it started as best friends, then it went on to he fell in love. Thing is I was in a serious relationship. So as time went by he tended to get a bit crazy, he would be mad if I was with my boyfriend. Didn't like when me and my boyfriend argued. Always had something to say about him and it was all bad. He never really gave my boyfriend a chance. He knew we were only best friends we were so close. We went to the mall ate and stuff like that. I never considered him more than a friend. Then me and my long term boyfriend broke up, he cheater. I was so devastated and I ran to my best friend as always needing comfort. He talked to me and tole me it would be okay, I moved on. Still we were best friends. Then I started to realize how much my best friend meant. We hung out more, and spent lots of time together. Then we got serious and the relationship got physical. After we had been dating I would say for a couple months he started to act like a jerk. He would ignore me, hang with his friends, go out, talk to other girls and stuff on that line. So I just left it alone. Then as I started to go out with my friends he would get mad. I started to talk to guys and he turned nuts! Anything thing I was doing was wrong, but he was doing the same and I never nagged him? Then we talked things over and I said as long as he was willing to devote his time and he wanted a girlfriend I would be her. We went out for months, then again other girls in the picture he started to go out. This is all over a period of about three years, the fourth year he lived with me, I cooked, cleaned, did it all for him. Then again girls, going out, having fun. So as people started to tell me, and as people I mean "our" friends they would say why do you put up with it? And my stupid answer is he loves me and he just needs his own time. So we lived together, and we both did our own thing, when I started to talk to guys though he would get mad. I never got mad or anything so why did he? So finally he went back home. Then around last Christmas, I realized I was done with the games. I gave him and his family their presents and new years eve I asked him what he wanted his words "I don't know to be honest, and where is this coming from?" So I finished it with, Im done doing this and I will always be here for you, but I can't take the games. We didn't talk all af Jan. Feb 1st his birthday I texted "happy bday" got nothing back. Then 3 weeks later he calls me to get my stuff. I go over we talk and everything seems fine. My birthday march 2 he says happy birthday. So now he finds our I'm talking to some guy and he starts being an again. What do I do?

AmericanGirl01 · Mar 3, 2010, 04:15 PM

Cut him out of your life! Come on, you have to know the answer to that one. He's no good. You don't need 100 people on here telling you that. I know it must be difficult since you've known him for quite some time but do you really want to keep someone like this in your life?

ThatGirrl! · Mar 3, 2010, 04:33 PM

What gets me is the whole friend thing, I mean we were friends before anything so why is he being so psycho!

AmericanGirl01 · Mar 3, 2010, 04:40 PM

You broke it off, went a whole month without talking, then YOU contacted him wishing him a happy birthday and how he's acting all psycho again. It doesn't really matter what he used to be like, it's irrelevant at this point.

He's acting like a crazy person now Please stick to no contact!

ThatGirrl! · Mar 3, 2010, 04:42 PM

I have been, but we see each other everywhere. I've tried to avoid even being around where he would. It just doesn't seem to work! Im thinking number changing? I mean he isn't in my contacts so I won't get that urge. Good idea?

AmericanGirl01 · Mar 3, 2010, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by ThatGirrl!

I have been, but we see eachother everywhere. I've tried to avoid even being around where he would. It just doesnt seem to work! Im thinking number changing? I mean he isnt in my contacts so I wont get that urge. Good idea?

Great idea!

ThatGirrl! · Mar 3, 2010, 04:45 PM

Lol thanks!

ThatGirrl! · Mar 3, 2010, 05:06 PM

So I was in a long relationship, about 3 years. Haven't spoke to the guy, don't care to call, he doesn't really pop up unless my family asks about him. We have many pictures together, and he also bought me so many things I still have. I guess someone in my family MY MOM, called him to ask how he was. Blah this started back and forth calls, then I came up. He asked how I was and many more questions. My mom says call eat lunch and talk. There was a reason we broke up, HE CHEATED! I mean I forgave but never forgot I mean no one goes back to something like that. Now that I think about it I was so happy and smiled all the time with him. Should I call?

AmericanGirl01 · Mar 3, 2010, 05:12 PM

This was the boyfriend you were talking about in the previous thread? Why did your mom feel the need to call this guy? I find that a bit weird. My ex and I dated for 4.5 years and when we broke it off my mom would never feel the need to call him. Does she know he cheated on you?

It's easy to look back on a relationship once its over and remember all the great times you had.. people sort of have a way of putting their ex's up on a pedestal. You need to remember that he cheated and you two broke up for a reason, the trust was broken. You said it yourself that you don't care to call him and you haven't spoke to him. Why start now?

ThatGirrl! · Mar 3, 2010, 05:37 PM

Well, my parents do know what he did, but they believe in the whole second chance thing. My mom loves this guy. She says she has spoke to him and he says he has changed. I mean why not give it a try. What if he has changed? Its just lunch think it could hurt at all?

AmericanGirl01 · Mar 3, 2010, 05:57 PM

Sure, if you are really willing to give this another go then by all means, it is just lunch. I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater, people definitely have the ability to learn from their mistakes and really change for the better.

Just be careful!

talaniman · Mar 3, 2010, 05:59 PM

NO, seems your problem with guys is you can't get rid of them once they get a foot in the door. Why go to lunch with some one who cheated on you before? That's rather insane if you ask me, or anyone for that matter.

Its like getting bitten by a rattlesnake, and putting your hand in the cage again. It just doesn't make sense.

amicon · Mar 3, 2010, 10:40 PM

No lunch-no confusion.
Take some time out for yourself and stay away from weird exes.

JoeCanada76 · Mar 3, 2010, 11:09 PM

It is best in your own interest not to be in any kind of relationship right now. Clean break...

lifes a beach · May 6, 2012, 09:39 AM

Remember, in the end, it's your life and nobody else's. So if you're OK with the situation after lots of thought and reflection, then you make the decision to see him again. Just remember how you felt when you were hurt, and what if it happens again, are you wasting your time on someone who may hurt you again and did not respond to your communications in the past? Lots of luck I hope it works out great for you. : )