[Hot water]

Hello guys, my first post here and I'm in need of advice. My story's long, but I'll try to keep it as brief as possible.

During the summer right before my senior year, I was getting a little frustrated that I'd never been in a serious relationship. I know most people say it's fun to date around, but I've been looking for "mrs. right" as far back as I can remember and I'd never quite made the right connection. So one night I prayed and asked for just the right girl for me, and about one month into the year I met Betty. I was reluctant since she was 15 and I was 17, but I gave her a chance and we fell in love instantly.

For 15 months, we were best friends, lovers and everything else in between. We took eachothers virginity and I asked God for forgivness and promised that I'd marry the girl no matter what. Even though her parents didn't like me (I wasn't a tennis nut), my parents weren't crazy about her (she was a bit shy), and she travelled a lot due to a second house in Springfield, we were still as close as possible. We had promised to marry each other, always talked about future plans, and went through pregnancy scares that only brought us closer together.

So after this awesome fifteen months, she breaks up with me two days after a great date. I begged, but she was vague and used several different angles to cut me off. She said I was holding her back, that she meets a lot of people and I don't support her tennis.

I took it very hard... I cried constantly and still talked to her. But about two days later, she said she made a mistake and wanted me back. My whole family told me not just bow down to her like that, and if we got back together, it should be at least a month or so. She was saddened, but took it well and we continued to be friends. We talked on the phone, and even kissed each other when we could spend a little time together. She went on one date with someone, and the guy tried to kiss her but she stopped it. And she went into detail about how great of a kisser I was and that she needed me.

But one day she breaks one of our dates to go to Springfield with her family. I come to find out that she's going on like 3 dates with guys. Not just any guys, but guys that constantly texted her while we were dating and she swore were just friends. Obviously just going on a date is not a big deal, but this is where things changed into their current form.

Now she and I rotate between "just friends" one day, "still in love" the next, and "she hates me" the next. Sometimes all three stages would happen in the course of one day!

Just two days ago we were friends in the morning, got into a little argument that ended up being a very open and emotional chat (involving her telling me that she honestly believes that we'll get married someday) which put us in a good mood and on good terms. Later that day I was bored and started talking about kissing her and other stuff, and she acted like she was offended and brushed me off that night.

So now I'm forbidding myself from texting, calling, meeting or facebooking her and I'm on day two of that. I feel good to be away from the mood swings and what not... but I'm afraid that she'll either forget about me or be too stubborn to contact me when she misses me.

Thanks in advance for any advice!

[dynocompe]

She was just wanting to use you as her back up, sorry to say! But its quite apparent you're her back up as she is dating other guys when she is not with you!
I am glad you listened to your parents advice, they were obviously right!
I would continue to do NC and move, as she is also trying to move on, with you by her side when she is lonely/bored.
The NC will be good for both of you. You are sooo young, you will meet plenty girls yet!

[amicon]

NC is a very good idea-no more trauma,tantrums and mindgames.

If she can't make her mind up,you make yours up,getting on with your own life and your own plans.

[CanIBuyAClue]

I would say dump her before she dumps you. Because it is eventually going to happen, she has been testing the waters and keeping you around just in case she can't find anything better. You deserve better than that. Stop putting up with her emotional roller coaster and get on with building your own life without her.

[Hot water]

Thanks for the support guys, it's been 3 full days and I'm very relaxed now.

I've been doing a lot of thinking and I finally realized that while I should just forget about her forever, the fact the we took eachothers virginity is the only thing that makes me want to take her back/ask for her back. I'm still struggling about this... any tips?