[thgilnoom]

I have been in this job for 16 years and am good at what I do. I have always been conciensious of my work and strive to produce a perfect set of plans as we do civil engineering. 3 years ago I took off 6 months to care for my Mom when she was dying from cancer to care for her and keep her comfortable. When I came back to work, they had hired this lady for a management position (she is not my manager nor do we ever work together on any project... actually... she never works at all.) making 2.5 times my salary. She wears low cut tight blouses with her ----- hangng out and fat hanging out all around with jeans. She used to always use the F word... several times in one sentence. She never does anything constructive. She used to call some of the guys in the office looser boys or idiots or what ever name popped into her head at the time and make fun of the clothing they wore. She gossips and puts others down when she doesn't even know them. Unfortunately she sits in the cube next to mine. She has turned several of the womwn that work in our group against me somehow. I have always been kind to people. I don't socialize a lot because I have a lot of work to do. She travels all over the office disrupting everyone. She laughs so loud she can be heard all over the building as the building is an open floor plan and her voice carries well. I have started looking for another job... I am 8 years away from retirement and after putting up with this for 3 years I just can't take it anymore. Apparently everyone has complained about her but they all treat her like she is just wonderful. I have begun to isolate myself from everyone because I find their behaviour toward her unbelievable and I just can't take it anymore. She is rude. She is gross... when she's sick she comes in coughing and hacking and (I apologize as there is no other way I can think to describe what I am about to say) snorting her snot down into her throat. Just grosses me out! Then she says this guy is gross because he is heavy and walks and he breathes heavy.

I don't want to change jobs. Everyone else I work with is great... we've been together for 16 years and I couldn't ask for a better boss.

She doesn't work... she shops on the internet for a good part of the day. Or plays games or texts or disrupts someone. She takes extra long lunches. She doesn't appear to have any office ettiquette.. (sp). The boss over my boss is her boss and he just seems to love her and spends a lot of his time visiting with her.

Please advise. I don't want to make a mistake and lose my job or my retirement. I just don't know where to turn. Thanks so much for reading and I apologize for the lengthy explanation.

[JBeaucaire]

The obvious question... have you talked to YOUR boss about this situation at all? How hard would it be to request a different cubicle and tell your boss the truth in confidence.

"I value my work ethic and productivity and after 3 years of trying to work next someone who doesn't, it's starting to affect me adversely. I'd like to insure my sanity and work product stays top-notch. How do I get a desk as far from this person as possible without starting tidal waves around the office?"

[Gemini54]

I think that you need to tread cautiously, as she clearly has curried the big bosses favor. She also knows that you don't like her, and hence has turned some of your colleagues against you.

You can't do anything about her and you can't do anything about the way people respond to her, so you're in a bit of a bind. I suspect that your direct boss won't have much influence either.

JB's suggestion about moving desks seems a sensible compromise, if you can manage to do it without directly blaming her for your move. Make it about you and your need to concentrate on what you're doing.

Continue to be kind and courteous to everyone, including her, and try not to 'judge' her behavior or people's responses to her. You don't have to leave, you work on 'turning off' your feelings of revulsion and disdain by just trying to observe her dispassionately.

In the end she can't help needing people's attention and being the awful person she is. It's unfortunate she has to sit next to you (hopefully not for long), and it's probably a major lesson in tolerance!

[denis468]

Yeah, I have that same experience myself. I am sitting next to a guy at work, and he is absolutely terrible personality. He is loud, disrespectful, ignorant, obnoxious and disdainful to everybody. He also likes to "boss around". He seems to be liked by senior management, and at the same time he is messing up quite often. Absolute lack of manners and respect for other people is another one of his "Assets". Everybody in my department hates the guy, and I am pretty sure he is well aware of this. I am seriously thinking about talking to my manager about it, and in the meantime I am looking for another job. The one that I have now pays quite poorly, heavy work load, and now I don't feel like putting up with this "environmental hazard" anymore. Everybody is too politically correct, and that serves to our detriment, because a**holes like him are allowed to carry on... I hope he reads this post and eats some stale bread with cheap wine...