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confusedMe1982 · Feb 23, 2010, 12:13 PM

I know I am blaming myself. Now. I am hating myself now. And thank you to everybody, I may not know you, but I know you really want to help me. Thank you for at least you put some sense in my clouded mind. I know I have to deal with myself now. I am really in pain. I have to think over what's good for me. And start over again. And I hope and pray I can make it. I really hope.

neverme · Feb 23, 2010, 12:15 PM

Stop hoping and praying and start telling yourself You can.

You are the only one with the power to change this cycle of abuse.

confusedMe1982 · Feb 23, 2010, 12:16 PM

I really hope I can

amicon · Feb 23, 2010, 12:45 PM

You can-as we have all had to do at least once in our lives.
It's time you start being good to yourself now.

confusedMe1982 · Feb 24, 2010, 08:31 PM

Threads merged

I wrote a question here last time, and I would like to thank all of you who been so kind to help me. For now, I still have to ask some of your opinions again. I wrote here last time, that my boyfriend and me for three years had a fight, he told me he regretted having a relationship with me and will not care anymore, because he thinks I am drama. And leave for vacation with his brother without telling me, until now no communication. I was calling him over and over, but not answering me. Last night I leave him a message all what I felt everything. And calling him. Still no answer, no reply. Its been 4 days now. I know I am so stupid. But I am hurting. I am hurting a lot now. Do you think what I did of texting him is the right thing for me to do?

Scleros · Feb 24, 2010, 09:00 PM

Originally Posted by confusedMe1982

do you think what i did of texting him is the right thing for me to do?

No. One, perhaps two, phone calls or messages is sufficient to let anyone know you wish to talk. If he doesn't want to talk to you now, multiple calls will only land you in the crazy-psycho-chick bin. From your post, it sounds like he's done with you but if there is any hope for this relationship, he needs a chance to cool off without you pestering him and a chance to miss you enough to want to make amends and contact you. If you are constantly contacting him, he'll never miss you and additionally it will probably annoy him which will drive him further away.

confusedMe1982 · Feb 24, 2010, 09:10 PM

That's what am afraid of now. He doesn't care anymore. I just felt it, it really breaks my heart reading some of the responses. But I have to be brave to accept it. It is really so much painful.

neverme · Feb 24, 2010, 09:31 PM

It is not easy.

We have all been through it and that's why, I anyway, am here hoping to help.

Be brave, you are the one that will benefit from this in the long run. I know it's hard to believe now but one day you will look back on this with a wry smile thinking how far you have come from then and how much of a stronger person you are.

confusedMe1982 · Feb 24, 2010, 09:34 PM

Thank you, am going to work now, but still I cannot stop myself from crying, I don't want them to know what's going on with me. Its like a knife inside my heart. If only, I can be dead right now.

vanheart · Feb 24, 2010, 11:58 PM

Why did you? Its not the country, city or town.

"he just said, that he regretted having a relationship with me"

That says it.

Not about your decision, just his.

Like Tal says, there a world out there. This guy isn't going to be in your world anymore.

Take that as a lesson on who's cool.

Like you said. Lots of ups & downs, fights & arguments, regrets, hurtful words...

Am I forgetting anything?

amicon · Feb 25, 2010, 01:13 AM

Trust me,you're better of doing NC and getting through your pain in a fairly short time,than trying to stay in contact and prolong your agony.

Yes, you are in a lot of pain now,but that will go away with time and by you actively working on your own healing.

confusedMe1982 · Feb 25, 2010, 03:14 AM

vanheart, I think you are rght. Thank you. I love him so much that I allowed him to treat me this way.

I wish I can forget so easily

talaniman · Feb 25, 2010, 05:27 AM

Most people realize after a break up, that they have loved someone else so much that they have neglected themselves for a long time.

I think that's what your having to cope with, as our family, and other people who are close to us, are often our best, and most important support group when times are tough.

I think your going to have to reach out to reestablish some old ties to family, and friends who have probably missed you terribly, but you don't know it.

I think you have to do this to help you through this, and worry less about being a bother, I mean that's what family is about.

I think besides the problems in this relationship, which you no longer have, he has managed to isolate you it seems, so now your really on your own, and that has to change.

Reaching out to old friends, and family now would be the best thing to do as you mourn the death of this relationship, and rebuild around a healthier way of life.

confusedMe1982 · Feb 25, 2010, 05:42 AM

Thank you all of you. It is so hard, but I have to accept it. How? I don't know, but I will. Its been three years. Waking up evryday knowing he's there. And I have to force myself to get use to it, that he's not with me anymore. I was thinking the whole does he ever think of this? Does he ever? But I think no, he ignore me too much now. He knows how painful it is too me every time he's doing this, he knows me a lot that he knows my weaknesses. I never regretted everything with me, I love him too much willing to sacrifice things for him. I love him, but I have to let go

talaniman · Feb 25, 2010, 05:47 AM

You have to start to love yourself, that where healing starts, and letting go is so hard, I have been dumped enough to know only to well that hole in your soul takes ever so long to fill.

Your not alone, as if you read some of the other stories here on this forum, many go through the same thing.