[LoveSeve]

I am married. I am sure I married too soon. I am still in love with my ex. I dream of him daily, I live him. I breath him. I am not in love with my husband. I had regrets before we tied the knot but I'm stupid and a coward. What should I do?

[Tordmor]

If what you write is true than something in your upbringing went terribly wrong and you are not capable of rational thought. So your first priority should be to learn to think. Try out some logic puzzles. Like one of these: Puzzles.COM - Logic Puzzles - Logic Problems Items 10
Learn to use the grid in each puzzle.

After you learned basic reasoning the next step would be to acknowledge truth. Practice telling anybody the truth at any time, this will make you less susceptible to lying to yourself.

The third step is to imagine and choose what you want your life to be. A vision of your future, truthfulness to yourself and your peers and the capacity of reasoning should get you there.

[Alty]

If what you write is true than something in your upbringing went terribly wrong and you are not capable of rational thought. So your first priority should be to learn to think. Try out some logic puzzles. Like one of these: Puzzles.COM - Logic Puzzles - Logic Problems Items 10
Learn to use the grid in each puzzle.

After you learned basic reasoning the next step would be to acknowledge truth. Practice telling anybody the truth at any time, this will make you less susceptible to lying to yourself.

The third step is to imagine and choose what you want your life to be. A vision of your future, truthfulness to yourself and your peers and the capacity of reasoning should get you there.

The OP asked for help with her relationship and you tell her to do puzzles? :confused:

[Tordmor]

Her relationship problems are obviously the result of faulty reasoning or the incapacity or unwillingness to reason about her emotions. In any case strengthening her left side of the brain will allow her to get a grip on her emotions and start pursuing her own long term goals instead of wasting her life on whim-of-the-moment emotional reactions. Which will solve her relationship problems.

[Tordmor]

Or to put it differently: You need to treat the underlying condition not just the symptoms.

[Alty]

Or to put it differently: You need to treat the underlying condition not just the symptoms.

That's all well and good, but it doesn't answer her question.

What you have to realize is that people come here asking relationship questions because they want support, not because they want to work the left side of their brain. You may think you're helping, but you're not.

This thread requires an emotional response, some understanding, leading the person in the right direction, not puzzles.

We don't want to scare these people away and I'm afraid that's what your post did. It's not an acceptable answer in a forum where feelings rule all.

[hheath541]

I would suggest counseling. Definitely seek individual treatment, and possibly couples therapy. Maybe your marriage will survive, maybe not. Either way, you're not being fair to your husband by living a lie.

And, I do not think puzzles, logic or otherwise, are an acceptable, or constructive, alternative to actual therapy.

If you attend church, the clergy there might offer couples therapy. You should still seek individual treatments, though. I'm sure there are issues you don't feel comfortable discussing in front of your husband right now.