[mistyjane]

Mistyjane, you really do not understand. I've got a problem and I want to fix it

For sure you really have a problem!
And that's why I'm saying go and see a psychiatrist;)
This is how to fix it.

[jmjoseph]

So, you want EVERYTHING on the dessert cart and want help deciding want to do? You've been given good answers here, but they are not what you want to hear.

This is a fine mess YOU have gotten YOURSELF into. Don't blame the ex, for coming on to you when you are "weak". That's just a very pathetic excuse. Does she force herself on you? No.

In your original post, you said that you are "doing everything you can to make it work", and " love is developing"... It's all based on lies, and you are sabotaging it yourself.

So you want to keep your cake and eat it too, AND with ice cream( ex's friend) on the side. Grow a spine, be a man, and decide on what it is that you want the most.

Tell your current victim the truth, and let HER decide what SHE wants to do.

Do you have a sister? Would you want someone like.. well... YOU coming along and crushing her feelings?

At some point in your life, you will need to think with the head on your SHOULDERS.

And as Shaz said, you are acting like a manwhore. If that's what you want to be, then do it without hurting girls' feelings.

And if the ex has "magical booty", then why did you leave her in the first place? Was it because the grass was greener on the other side of the fence?

Remember that grass is always greenest over the septic tank.

What answer was it that were expecting here? Did you want someone to tell you to "enjoy yourself", and not "get caught"? Not going to happen.

You came here because you know this is wrong. Now do something about it. ON YOUR OWN.

[amicon]

This is the third thread you have started here your 'problem'-one under a different user id.

Both previous threads were closed.

[Jaytdk]

Guys my ex chose her present boyfriend over me, now the boyfriend is not treating her nicely so she wants to come back to me. I think she wants to break me up with my girlfriend and see me suffer, that's why she is doing this. For the record, she didn't dump me, I dumped her because I didn't want to share her with another guy

[jmjoseph]

Guys my ex chose her present boyfriend over me, now the bf is not treating her nicely so she wants to come back to me. I think she wants to break me up with my girlfriend and see me suffer, thats why she is doing this. For the record, she didnt dump me, I dumped her because I didnt want to share her with another guy

Isn't it ironic? YOU didn't want to share, but you expect everyone else to.

Have some respect for the girl that you are dating now. Tell her what is going on, so she can decide if SHE wants to share you with someone else. What if she finds out on her own? What if the ex gives her a call?

People in love don't treat each other this way.

And if she(the ex) chose another guy over you, then isn't that dumping you?

You are in quite a situation. And you are the only one that can fix it.

[Cat1864]

I share a bond with my gal that no one else in this plane will never will. I feel her so strong that I can't even imagine myself with another girl, Im commited to her utterly and no one will ever break us apart even my ex. I realise that what I am doing is wrong that is why I initiated this query because I need help on how to leave my ex and her friend and others

This is going to get harsh:

I am going to take it that you are serious about wanting help. However, reading your responses so far, I think you are closer to bragging about having a problem just to get attention from strangers.

The above quote is one huge lie. Every word has been shown a lie by your earlier posts. IF you had as strong a bond with your GF2 (the ex-GF1-isn't an ex as long as you are still seeing and having sex with her), then it wouldn't matter if the entire Dallas Cheer leading Squad were standing in front of you naked begging for sex. You wouldn't do anything to damage the trust.

Lesson one: Read what you have written. Pay attention to your wording. Pay attention to the meanings of the words like commitment and relationship as well as the meaning of the suffix ex-.

Lesson Two: You have two feet. You can walk away from GF1 at any time. Unless you are having sex with her in the middle of Sears or a parking lot, YOU made a conscious decision to go to a private place for sex. You have a mouth to use to say 'get lost' instead of 'let's go to my place.' You can close the door in her face, hang up the phone, hit yourself in the testicles for even contemplating cheating on the wonderful person that GF2 is...

Lesson Three: GF2 will find out. GF1 will tell her at some point in time if the friends don't. She deserves to hear it from you.

Lesson Four: GF2 may have another BF besides you because obviously you aren't being satisfying in your relationship with her. I surmise that because sex with GF1 is so much better you can't control yourself. Of course since GF1 has a second BF then I guess it wouldn't be a surprise to you.

Lesson Five: When you think about cheating, think about sticking your penis in a cactus. Poor ice cubes down your pants. Practice self control.

[pureorganic]

You dude to pretty much sum it up... you're a freaking dirt bag. There's people on here all the time that have lost their loved ones and really had true sincere love, but were still hurt and betrayed and are here for genuine help. Here you come along like its all some thrill game to you. Your pretty messed up, and to tell the truth if you were standing in front of me right now I would knock your front teeth out. Your not a man, you're a coward, and you deserve to be alone for the rest of your life and rot in He** for the abominations you are committing. So you you're a flippin idiot. Peace.

[talaniman]

Originally Posted by Jaytdk
I share a bond with my gal that no one else in this plane will never will. I feel her so strong that I can't even imagine myself with another girl, I'm committed to her utterly and no one will ever break us apart even my ex.

This is the biggest lie I ever heard. I mean when the new girl finds out, your yesterdays toast!

I realize that what I am doing is wrong that is why I initiated this query because I need help on how to leave my ex and her friend and others

You may be one of those guys who can only think with his little head, and needs professional help (like Tiger Woods) to learn how to ignore the little head because it nothing but trouble.

Tell the new girl so she can either support you by hitting you in the nuts, or leave your lying butt for someone better. That will solve your cheating, and lying, one way or another.

The rest requires professional help, and no matter what excuses you give for not doing it that way, you still will need professional help.

Your only other option is to leave your g/f to give her a chance at someone better, and just be a hound dog the rest of your life.

Your other post of half truths, and lies, were deleted, and honestly, this one is headed that way.

[Alty]

You have a lot of excuses. It's everyone's fault but yours. Poor you can't control yourself, you are so weak minded and morally corrupt that you just have to stick your penis into any willing girl that comes along. Ya, right!

You have choices, none of which you're willing to make. You don't want help, you want to brag. Well, I hate to tell you this, but a decent woman wouldn't go anywhere near you. If your girlfriend found out about this she'd leave you in a heartbeat and she deserves to find out so she can find a decent man and stop wasting her time on you.

I feel no sympathy for you, only disgust.

Get help, tell your girlfriend what you've been doing. If you love her so much then let her go, let her find someone that deserves her, you don't.

After she's left you can go sleep with as many loose women as you want. If that's the life you want then do it single.

[jaime90]

I'm only 19 and I can figure this out, I don't see how you can't:

It's great that you don't want to hurt your girlfriend, but the point is, you don't have enough respect for her to stop your selfishness. Or to not even consider cheating. That's what it is, selfishness to the highest degree. You say seeing her hurt would kill you, umm, it's too late guy, your decisions have already done enough damage. Sooner or later, she's going to know because this relationship won't last, and it SHOULDN'T last.

You get horny and she's not around so you forget her and just sex your ex. You are a dirty, lying, cheating, man whore... to put things bluntly.

F you didn't want to hurt your girlfriend like this, you should NEVER have even begun a relationship with her. I'm not sure your head was on straight when you began a relationship. She does not deserve a lousy boyfriend- and that's what you are, a lousy boyfriend, not only that, you're a cheater- and that goes on your permanent record.

You don't want to "plead guilty" to your girlfriend because you don't want to hurt her... okay, so lying to her is going to be any better? The truth will find you out, and she needs to know NOW. If you do not tell her, I will hunt her down and tell her myself because nobody deserves a boyfriend like you.

If your ex is bothering you like you say she is, and she is initiating the sex, why can't you man up and tell her no? Or don't answer her messages. Walk away when you see her. Why in the world would you ever let it go as far as touching? You have no respect for women. Plain and simple. You need to break off EVERY relationship you currently have, and... For crying out loud, PLEASE, STOP DATING. Sorry to say it, but at this point in time, no woman deserves a douche like you.

[hheath541]

No its not solved asif, its not that just simple. I see her everyday, everywhere I go, she stays close to me. I want to stop but I just can't figure out how because sleeping with her is so extraordinary and I like it. Help me come up with solutions

Actually it IS that simple. You want solutions on how to stop cheating on your girlfriend? You stop. It's that simple.

You claim to love your girlfriend. You claim that you would never want to do anything to hurt her. Your actions are showing that to be anything but the truth. You are constantly lying to her and cheating on her. That's not how you treat someone you love.

How would you like it if she cheated on you? I'm guessing you wouldn't accept any of the lies you've spouted in here as valid excuses.

If you really are so weak that you're incapable of NOT having sex with other women, then you need to end the relationship.

Those are your options. The solutions you came here asking for. Stop cheating. Or get single.

Oh, and your girlfriend WILL find out. My guess is that she already suspects, she just lacks proof at this point. Either she will find the evidence she needs, or someone will tell her. Someone who cares about her, or just wants to ruin your life, will see you out with your ex and tell your girlfriend about it.

What will you do when she confronts you? Keep lying to her? Try to convince her that it was innocent? Finally grow a pair and tell the truth? Somehow I doubt the last one.

[Jaytdk]

Isn't it ironic? YOU didn't want to share, but you expect everyone else to.

Have some respect for the girl that you are dating now. Tell her what is going on, so she can decide if SHE wants to share you with someone else. What if she finds out on her own? What if the ex gives her a call?

People in love don't treat each other this way.

And if she(the ex) chose another guy over you, then isn't that dumping you?

You are in quite a situation. And you are the only one that can fix it.

Put yourself in my shoes. Would you tell your girlfriend something you know will tear her heart apart and hurt her?? NO I don't think so. So why you expect me to tell her. I will never tell her because I do not want to hurt her, she means a lot to me more than the world itself. And nope she chose another guy over me while our relationship was on hold, I put it on hold because I didn't like the way she was behaving

[Jaytdk]

This is the third thread you have started here your 'problem'-one under a different user id.

Both previous threads were closed.

Talinama, I don't think it's a good notion to delee my threat again. There are people out there who are not heartless, who wants to help out of their loving heart. If you don't want to help me, then leave it, its fine, but allow other people to help. The problem that I am experiencing, you might find someone is having the same problem so reading all this will assist that person. Do not prevent us to get help, you were once at this stage and no one prevented you from getting assistance from other people. Be generous for once please

[hheath541]

Comments on this post
Jaytdk disagrees : Ending the relationship is not a good idea. When you inlove its hard to let go of people you love. You'll feel that one day. So I wont end it

First, you ONLY disagree if the post is FACTUALLY incorrect of dangerous. My post was neither. It is against the rules to give someone a reddie, i.e.. Disagree, just because you don't agree with their opinion.

Second, I HAVE felt that. I have, unfortunately, had to hurt people in the past.

I broke up with one ex because I was developing feelings for someone else and didn't find it fair to either of us to continue the relationship. Nothing ended up happening with the other person, but I didn't want to end up cheating if something did. Not to mention, it wasn't fair that I wasn't fully invested in the relationship.

I ended an engagement when it became clear I wouldn't be able to give my all to the relationship, and that they weren't willing to give their's. I was DEEPLY in love. It literally tore me apart to end it, but it needed to be done. That was more than a year and a half ago, and I'm STILL not completely healed.

Do NOT tell me that I have no idea what it feels like to hurt someone, or be hurt, or be in love. I have known all three, and survived them.

Notice, I broke things off BEFORE cheating even became a real option. There is NEVER a good excuse for cheating. The only thing it shows is that you don't have enough respect for her, or yourself, to be honest and faithful.

I hope she ends up stumbling across the posts you've made here. That'll save you the trouble of having to end things. She'll do it for you.

[Jaytdk]

You have a lot of excuses. It's everyone's fault but yours. Poor you can't control yourself, you are so weak minded and morally corrupt that you just have to stick your penis into any willing girl that comes along. Ya, right!

You have choices, none of which you're willing to make. You don't want help, you want to brag. Well, I hate to tell you this, but a decent woman wouldn't go anywhere near you. If your girlfriend found out about this she'd leave you in a heartbeat and she deserves to find out so she can find a decent man and stop wasting her time on you.

I feel no sympathy for you, only disgust.

Get help, tell your girlfriend what you've been doing. If you love her so much then let her go, let her find someone that deserves her, you don't.

After she's left you can go sleep with as many loose women as you want. If that's the life you want then do it single.

I am not here to brag, I do not have to waste. And I can't tell her what I have been doing or what I did. Its not easy to tell someone you love that you've been unfaithful to them. Its not easy as you make it sounds. For your info I deserve my GF, I am having a problem just like anyone in a relationship. No one is perfect, even yourself you not perfect, there's a part where you lacking as well. I am content that I'll be well soon, I'll try to fix it before my girlfriend finds out and me and her can have a proper relationship without the ex. I just cannot resist my ex, and I believe it happens to most men, there's someone you cannot resist.

[jaime90]

<<put yourself in my shoes, would you tell your girlfriend something you know would tear her heart apart?>>

Too late. Are you going to lie to her for the rest of your relationship? How is that any less hurtfull? Lying to her is far more hurtfull than just being honest and telling the truth. Not only is your current relationship with her very unhealthy, you are a very unhealthy person.

<<if you don't want to help me then leave it>>
It seems you disagree with most of the people who have given you advice- probably because it's not exactly what you want to hear. But you have to realize that what you are doing to this girl is cruel, and most people do not appreciate, or condone the behavior of a dipsh*t. And let's be honest, guys who cheat are just that. As I said earlier, not only do you have to deal with the fact that you are a cheater, but so will your current girlfriend, so does your ex girlfriend, so does the girl you're putting the moves on, and your future wife (if any) will marry into this disaster... You are ruining your future. Think of your girlfriend, your future spouse, and not yourself for once.

Once again, I dare you to say that you love this girl. If you loved her, you wouldn't have cheated. Cheaters know how to lust, they don't know how to love. You DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT, love this poor girl that you are lying to, and cheating on. Sparing her the dirty dirty details IS NOT, IS NOT, IS NOT, love... Do you get it?

And no, it does not happen to most men. Most men and women who see someone they desire, LOVE their partner enough not to act on it. Why don't you learn how to treat a woman? I feel terrible for your poor girlfriend, trying to hide things on her. It's torture for me to read about what a disrespectful, demeaning, pathetic, ignorant jerk you are to women.

[jmjoseph]

Jaytdk disagrees : My girlfriend is not a victim and I will never make her a victim, she is my queen

If she is your "queen" then why are you cheating on her? Henry the Eighth killed most of his wives. Is that your plan, to kill this girl with shame and heartbreak?

You put the "boy" in boyfriend.

On your avatar, your location is "the centre of the planet". Well, your planet must be small, and EVERYTHING in it small also. Heart, brain, and especially balls.

For her to be your queen, you have to be a king.

More like the court jester I say.

[shazamataz]

So to sum up the advice given here...

You:
A) Break up with your girlfriend to SAVE her feeling from being entirely crushed when she CATCHES you.
You telling her will feel 100x times better then her finding out (trust me I have been there!)

B) You talk to the ex and tell her you can't have sex anymore.
You keep it in your pants and learn some self control

C) There is no C, it's a pretty freakin' easy thing to do!!

[Jaytdk]

Jaytdk disagrees : My girlfriend is not a victim and I will never make her a victim, she is my queen

If she is your "queen" then why are you cheating on her? Henry the Eighth killed most of his wives. Is that your plan, to kill this girl with shame and heartbreak?

You put the "boy" in boyfriend.

On your avatar, your location is "the centre of the planet". Well, your planet must be small, and EVERYTHING in it small also. Heart, brain, and especially balls.

For her to be your queen, you have to be a king.

More like the court jester I say.

I didn't cheat on her on purpose or intentionally, its just happen OK, do not make it as if Im cheating willingly. I do not know what's wrong with me but Its difficult to let go of my ex because she is always around

[jmjoseph]

I want you to read the comments on this post here, that came from YOURSELF, less than a week ago:https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...do-446795.html