[hovnurse1]

Shinigami, wow long letter! Most people have been where you are! I am sure some people would just say forget it. I was 23 recently separated form my 1st husband. When I met the "EX", We later married and divorced because I had some serious issues, nothing Gary did could or would do would be right. After many arguments and breakups, we finally split up for good in1992. I never really lost track of him over those years! He married, and divorced, I was in a relationship or two, but nothing like the relationship I had with him! He knew and knows me in ways nobody else ever will. I remarried and so did he, We both are still married, I have an 11 year old, he has a 5 year old. Now what! He lives in Indiana, I live in Arizona. I'm not leaving my son and moving back there anymore then he will leave his daughter and move here. If it wasn't for our young children I have no doubt that we would be together now, because he is and always will be the love of my life! I know we will be together someday! He feels the same way! Maybe you wonder why I tell you all this, well I am now almost 46 and he is 48. I have not seen him in 17 years, We miss each other very much! We email each other at least a few times a week! Oh quit checking her personal emails you get what you deserve doing that! Just trust that your love is enough! In the end does it matter who else she is or has been with as long as she ends up with you! And remember this an Argument is just an Argument! Don't let 17 years pass, and have kids before you realize you screwed things up that now, others can be affected.

[shinigamie]

Shinigami, wow long letter! Most people have been where you are! I am sure some people would just say forget it. I was 23 recently seperated form my 1st husband. when I met the "EX", We later married and divorced because I had some serious issues, nothing Gary did could or would do would be right. After many arguements and breakups, we finally split up for good in1992. I never really lost track of him over those years! He married, and divorced, I was in a relationship or two, but nothing like the relationship I had with him! He knew and knows me in ways nobody else ever will. I remarried and so did he, We both are still married, I have an 11 year old, he has a 5 year old. Now what! He lives in Indiana, I live in Arizona. I'm not leaving my son and moving back there anymore then he will leave his daughter and move here. If it wasn't for our young children I have no doubt that we would be together now, because he is and always will be the love of my life! I know we will be together someday! He feels the same way! Maybe you wonder why I tell you all this, well I am now almost 46 and he is 48. I have not seen him in 17 years, We miss each other very much! We email each other at least a few times a week! Oh quit checking her personal emails you get what you deserve doing that! Just trust that your love is enough! In the end does it matter who else she is or has been with as long as she ends up with you! And remember this an Arguement is just an Arguement! dont let 17 years pass, and have kids before you realize you screwed things up that now, others can be affected.

Hey hovnurse1, I'm sorry to hear about your experience and I also do hope for the two of you to be together again.
If it were up to me I would not let 17 years pass, heck, I would not even let a year pass but unfortunately both party need to agree for that to happen.
I was weak and I did wish her a happy new year as well as expressed for my hope to one day talk again but, with no surprise, I did not get an answer.
I have not and will not even attempt to ever login onto anybody's Facebook again, or invade anybody's privacy, I have learnt my lesson; nor will I ever tried to renew contact again, if she wants to talk, she knows where to find me, trying some more would just hurt my case even more... if it is at all possible. So as much as I hate to admit it, I do think the possibility of us getting back together, let alone talk, are slim to none. However, I don't think I'll ever be able to lose hope.
I'm slowly getting better with the thoughts that she is probably better off without me but that doesn't go without a pinchy feeling in the chest so I try to not think about it but then the dreams come. Still working on forgiving myself.

Anyway, thank you for the support and I wish you the best of luck for the future.

[shinigamie]

*update*

Hi everyone, I thought I'd post a little update as it helps getting feedbacks.
After 3 months of NC, I am finally getting up the slope. Days seemed less and less painful and it is a relief to finally experience a day without pain. However, about 2 weeks ago she decided to renew contact by telling me that she forgave me months ago and to also ask for forgiveness.
Needless to say I was stocked but in order to not repeat any mistakes I took my time and thought hard about what she was asking. 3 days later I admitted to have not quite completely forgiven her but that I was working on it and her text helped. Since then we've been talking casually back and forth every now and then.
Then for V's day, without me asking, she told me having done some "Valentine's stuff". It was painful to hear but she is entitled to do what she wants as she never claimed talking to me again to get back together so I didn't make a big deal out of it. Still sucked.
Later on, I finally asked what her intentions were to which she said that the guy she was seeing back in November (and still today) was just a rebound and now that she realizes it, she is finally dealing with the loss of our relationship. She continued by saying that she is sure to be in love with me but not sure whether it is a good or bad thing. So for now she is just going with the flow.
Truth is, I feel like a pawn for her to move whenever she so desires. However, I also feel like my wish has finally been granted. I got yet another chance to hopefully have something even though it might not appear like a good idea from an outside point of view.

My friends are telling me that she is using me due to a lack of attention or maybe just to see if she can. Basically that she is playing a game, so I should be careful and ask her what's it going to be and if she doesn't know, she should leave me alone until she does. You either love someone and do everything to be with that person, or you don't .
I think I will do that but this time I do not want to regret anything if things don't go the way I want. Of course, I would love to get back together but only if we can have a sane relationship, and because this can't be predicted, I'd like to start with a drama/ game free fresh start.
What do you guys think about the situation? Everybody seems to be a fan of NC and I've only understood why just recently, but like I said, I feel like this is the chance I've been wishing for.

Thanks

[talaniman]

Oh Gosh, here we go again. Obviously after starting to heal, how different things were becoming, and a lousy conversation with her has you wishing, hoping, and thinking all the other stuff you have endured, is gone.

Do yourself a big favor and get back to NC ASAP!

My friends are telling me that she is using me due to a lack of attention or maybe just to see if she can. Basically that she is playing a game, so I should be careful

Listen to them for gosh sake. Leave her alone or get what you got before.