[sparkle77]

I am in a lesbian relationship and we live away from each other so we only meet up occasionally as it is - we text, phone and mobile each other everyday, we fall out a lot, it's usually my fault, but she can be annoying at times but we love each other in our own way. She has suddenly decided to have space and does not want contact everyday. I am gutted to be honest. Am I being too clingy or what?

[redhed35]

Can I ask how long you have been dating and did you both make a plan about calls etc.

Open and honest communication is vital to any relationship,if your not talking and listening to each other its easy to become stifled and feel insecure.

Personal space is also important,the next time you talk have a conversation about wher you both stand on phoning and contact and perhaps a discussion about your relationship,what you both want and expect from each other.

[sparkle77]

We have been together for 2 and a half years - she has been to stay with me about 7 or 8 times - she was clingy and I was to a degree that is why I was surprised she decided to have contact only every other day as she said... "she didn't want us to be living in each other's pockets" as she put it - we usually speak by email, text or phone during each day and we do fall out a lot and it's usually my fault as well but I always apologise - she says she still loves and cares for me the same way as she did before - I just feel gutted to be honest - like she is distancing herself from me - she may phone me later and we can talk it through but she seems to have made her mind up...

[redhed35]

It sounds from your post there is a lot of rowing and hardly any listening,you both need to stop argueing and make consessions if you both want the relationship to work.

If she wants to end things,there is not much you can do about it.

My advice is to have a serious conversation about your relationship and see if you both can salvage it.

If not,I suggest no contact,breakups are hard,but first you need to know where you stand.

[I wish]

Sounds like you're not on the same page. Sounds like you don't have to same definition of what a relationsihp constitutes.

Evey though you might feel like you love her, compatibility is an important factor. If you don't have it, it's going to be a one-way relationship, just like your case.

If you can't find a mutual understanding, then it's better to go your separate ways instead of forcing the issue.

[talaniman]

Whether it's the distance, or lack of proper communications, you had better find out why your so insecure, and way too sensitive.

Those are things that tend to destroy any relationship. You obviously have heard what you want to hear, and not listened to what was really said.

Back off, and relax will you! Don't be so needy and smothering. That's a big turn off.

[Jake2008]

Any relationship has their moments. Sometimes a partner can be just overwhelming to a point where you just want to back away so you can breathe. It doesn't mean the end of a relationship, or that the love has been lost forever. It is human nature to need space and privacy.

Sometimes this isn't recognized, and that is a sign to the partner that they are being pushed away, or that it is the end of the relationship.

That you are so worried as to the meaning, is probably a good indicator that your partner has made a good decision-for both of you.

When you do have contact with her, let her know that you understand her need for space and time to herself, and respect that. Look forward to every other day, and do your best to make the most of your time together without counting the hours on the clock.

When people get overwhelmed in a relationship, many times they just split because there is just no getting through to the person they are with that they need time to breathe, and time to reflect, on their own. Lucky for you, she has not bailed. So, take this as an opportunity to see the relationship in a different way. No demands or drama, or arguing. Take it slowly, and build it back up again.

And the best way to do that, is to listen.

[J. Sparks]

I'm going to say it's the distance that is putting pressure on the relationship. I'm going to guess that she is starting to think that there is no future together. It's not very full filling only meeting up occasionally.