[jcarlso]

My girlfriend and I broke up Friday... Since then she has told me that she plans on moving into a hotel at the end of the month and expects me to get a one bedroom apartment to live in. We have a 10 month old son together. She is staying there for 90 days she says, at which points, she "hopes to take another shot at the relationship". She has told me to just do whatever it takes to make myself happy because the past few years of our relationship have been pretty rocky. We fight a lot because we are both very stubborn people, we have had trust issues, and I have had some controlling tendencies. I am making an honest effort at resolving my issues and I believe that she is making a heartfelt attempt at rekindling our relationship later, but I do not understand why us breaking it off and moving out is the answer. I suggested couples counseling and she has declined. I would like to know if this sounds like she really means that she wants the relationship in the future or if she is just trying to distance herself before completely throwing it all out. I know she loves me and I love her, but I am having a real hard time with this...

[Sdawson90]

My thoughts.

I think she is trying to get some distance from you to think and perhaps throw in the towel.
-I don't really know much more so I can't say anything else

Relationships are effort in general, but If the ENTIRE relationship has been/is effort. Than something is Very wrong.

Two things can come of this:
1) She takes her time, cools off, and salvages the relationship
2) she is taking a break for good, and it's over already.

Either way I would being the healing process while she is gone, so it hurts a lot less if she is leaving, and If she isn't than you have learned more self control, patience, and how to be Independent of her if they time ever comes. You can say "i've already done this once"

Best wishes - Sam

[Devorameira]

When a relationship has problems you have to work on them to fix them. That requires communication. With her moving out, none of the problems can be addressed. What do you think will be different in 90 days? Nothing!

I think it's over and she is just being a coward by not telling you. You need to treat this "break" as a "break-up" and start the healing process. Sorry!

[amicon]

My main concern is your son,what arrangements have you made regarding him?

As for the 90 days-if there are problems that need working on,you do that by committing to trying to solve them,not by moving out and setting timelimits.

To me,this sounds like the classic :letting down cowardly rather than admitting that its over and acting accordingly.

Again,what will happen with your son?
Concentrate on him and his needs.

[talaniman]

I think its over and she is letting you down easy. Sorry but unless both are willing to do the work, nothing gets fixed.