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B_1985 · Feb 12, 2010, 02:19 AM

Hi, sorry in advance this may be a bit long, but it's kinf of needed. I met this guy on the net we live in diff countries in Europe, he is going through divorce (no kids) and he is a bit older than me (5 years), we started like friends none of us thought about ' more ', but now we love each other, or at least I thought so.
He is having some problems in his life and he says he has no time for me... but that he loves me really much and that I'm the girl of his dreams, but that at the moment he is just too busy, I tried to understand him and give him the space he needed/wanted. After few weeks, he started to be even more distant, maybe 1 mail a day or just 1 calling days, so I asked him if he wanted this to over, because to be honest I'm really in love and this 'waiting' is killing me. He said that he loves me and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Now here is my question, How is this possible? how you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with that person and you just need all this space? For me it has no sense. Any help out there?

Kitkat22 · Feb 12, 2010, 02:28 AM

Have you met this guy in person?

amicon · Feb 12, 2010, 02:35 AM

Yes have the two of you actually met?

Generally speaking,if he is in the process of going through a divorce,he should be healing from his failed marriage before he becomes involved with somebody else.

Again,generally speaking,look at a person's actions rather than listening to their words.

dynocompe · Feb 12, 2010, 04:18 AM

If you haven't met, I wouldn't be surprised if he has a gal on the side as well, maybe in his Country. But he is keeping you still active in case it doesn't work out. Since your not in the same Country, I think he see you more of a fantasy, and not something that is actually going to happen
Not to sound mean, but just a scenerio that could be happening.

talaniman · Feb 12, 2010, 10:39 AM

It would make more sense to you if you look at the facts of the matter clearly

1-You have never met or gotten to know each other in person
2-He is going through a divorce, which is stressful at best
3-He has told you he is busy
4-You don't know if he is telling the truth or not
5-You live in different countries, and have made no efforts to meet
6-You know nothing of each other
7-He has honestly told you he doesn't have time for you

In light of those facts, even if you think your in love, its impossible to love each other, because he doesn't want to.

I think your more in love with the idea of being in love, than you are with the facts.

What are you going to do? Make him marry you by Internet? Yes this is impossible, sorry!

Kitkat22 · Feb 12, 2010, 12:26 PM

Did you send him a gift at Christmas or any gifts at anytime? Has he sent you anything? If you have never met the guy, how in the world could you be in love?

B_1985 · Feb 19, 2010, 03:57 AM

Finally I can answer, thank you for your answers, well the thing is YES we met last month, and I think it was great for both we had some holidays in London. We sent gifts for Xmas and birthdays.
We were supposed to meet again this January but my job.. required some important attention so I couldn't go, is it possible he is angry for that? Maybe you are all right and this is pointless.

talaniman · Feb 19, 2010, 07:58 AM

Or maybe its as he said, he is to busy. What guy going through a divorce, falls in love a month later, as you say you have?

You think your in love, and assume he is too. I doubt it, by his actions.

Devorameira · Feb 19, 2010, 08:48 AM

If you haven't visited him in his home, I would be suspicious that he either isn't divorcing his wife at all or has another lady friend. The internet is a well known way for married men and creeps to pick up woman for sex. He could tell you anything at all and since you're from different countries there would be no way for you to know the truth.

It's impossible for you to be madly in love with each other if you've only met up once or twice. Love takes time to grow and mature. I think he's telling you that just to keep you hanging on.

I think you should find a nice local guy to date, so you know who you're really dealing with and what you're getting. Good luck!

Kitkat22 · Feb 19, 2010, 11:30 AM

Be careful of guys you meet on the net! Some can be wolves in sheeps clothing.

B_1985 · Feb 19, 2010, 12:24 PM

Yes, you are all probably right, but I'm moving there in 2 months, NOT because of him, because of my work it was planned long before him, so maybe he is a lier, and knowing I'm going there he just wants to finish it all. Life goes on :D
Thank you vvery much for all your advices

amicon · Feb 19, 2010, 12:39 PM

Life does go on and I hope you'll have a great time when you move.
Good luck.