[lovetrouble]

I'm 23 years old and been in love with this guy for nearly a year now. He's a fantastic guy and we have been sleeping together on and off for the last 11 months. The first few months everything was going great, we use to exchange sexy picture messages between each other, sexy text messages and so on. Anyway few months into all of this, which was in fact last June, he turned around and told me that he had met someone else, I said it was fine as long as we could stay friends, he was OK with that too, at first I wasn't sure I loved him enough for a relationship. But things were going well between him and the new guy, I realised then I was falliing in love with my "friend" I tld him and he rejected me... saying me and him would neer work, he only loves me as a friend.
Anyway my 'mate' and his new boyfriend only lasted 2 weeks and things went pear shaped. My mate started sleeping with me again, and we have been until today, where I sent him a sexy picture and he went really mad with me :'( Ive asked him if there was anyone else involved and he is adamant there isn't anyone, but its just strange why he has changed the ways that we use to be before the "bf" came along

I love him to pieces, and if he would just talk to me properly and tell me he's seeing someone else, I would be cool with it, I love him enough to let go, but at the moment he's playing with my head and I don't kow where I stand with him, should I just let him go or work on a friendship with him

Please help me Im at the end of my teather now and don't know what to do, I honestly don't want to let him go, but I can't see any other way out :'(

[aoifee88]

Being honest I think he is just using you for the sex and as someone new comes along he dumps you.. then when he is single again he comes back to you. He's going to keep doing this to you until you take control and stop it. Have some respect for yourself. Go and find someone that will have respect for you you deserve it.

[smickleberry]

Pretty sure he's using you. I've been in that situation with my ex kurt. He put me through hell doing that , please try to forget about him. Delete his number, do whatever you can to get away, I promise you its worth it.

[pureorganic]

I agree with aoifee88. Your just a toy to him. Nothing he would want to date because your easy to get and why go out with you when he's getting sex whenever he wants and he knows it. You think when he sleeps with you he cares about your feelings? U think it means he loves u? That he wants to be with you and start a family? NO!! It means he is pleasing his own selfish carnal desires and using you as the means for that... trully you need to stop this, get your act together and stop this. Go no contact. And please please if your not going to wait till marriage for sex, at least wait to do it with someone that loves and cares about u. not just friends with benefits deal, its reall damaging to your confidence and self esteem... good luck!

[talaniman]

The problem is your in love, he is not. He made that very clear, so its friends with benefits. He is even tiring of that now. Whether he has another interest or not means nothing, as you must let go. Hey he's going to leave any way, and do his thing, so be for sure this romance was one sided and you are on the side he can easily replace. He already knows how you feel for him, but again his position is clear.

Be unavailable, and make a clean break of this, as he doesn't want a relationship, with or without the benefits. Its in your best interest to let go now, sorry.

Yes things have changed, and its something you may as well accept, and forget the friendship until you do.

I suspect he is tired of stringing you along and taking advantage of you.

That usually happens when one sex partner wants more from the other in an FWB relationship. They always back away from the one that has the feelings. Because they do not.

[lovetrouble]

Thanks for all the answers, deep down I know he is using me, and he's even said that to me, that he's scared of taking advantage and hurt me more than what he's done already. He has told me he loves me, but only as friends, but what I don't get is that he does things with me what a partner does... takes me out for romantic meals, takes me to the cinema, spin in the car, holidays... its just all complete mixed signals to me :'(

[talaniman]

Take away the sex, and it would be friends. The romance is completely from you and come from the very false hope that your "attraction" is the same as his. That's why your signals are mixed, its your hope for more.

So while he has a good time doing things with his friend (with benefits), you think he is courting you. He is not! He has been very clear on that, so not to be blunt, you may have gotten carried away with your own feelings.