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    SlyPhoenix's Avatar
    SlyPhoenix Posts: 63, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Feb 9, 2010, 05:23 PM
    I need a better way to phrase this thesis statement
    Here is my opening paragraph. The thesis statement is the last sentence.

    Love in the novel Sula, is not the love that one automatically thinks of. It isn’t the love of fairytales or romance novels but true love that is seen in real life. Due to her own lack of boundaries, Sula is rejected by most in the novel. However, through it all she has found bonds of love that are stronger than the suns rays. Love in this novel is seen through the relationships of Sula, and Nel; Sula, and Ajax; and between Eva and her children.

    Any suggestions would be helpful.

    Thanks

    Sly
    Eileen G's Avatar
    Eileen G Posts: 1,571, Reputation: 286
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Feb 12, 2010, 11:35 AM

    I haven't read the book, so I can only comment on your writing.

    Don't start with a negative. Instead, I would give a one or two line summary of what the novel is about, particularly as it relates to Sula.

    Then you can go on and talk about how the love in the novel is real and strong, but not an idealised romantic love. Give examples.

    Be sure that the words you use mean what you intend them to mean. "bonds of love that are stronger than the suns rays" doesn't make much sense. You might be better comparing it to something very concrete like iron or even concrete!

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