[eisforx]

How do I know if she loves me less than I ? She is my first love but I'm not hers.
I always tell her sweet things, but she doesn't really tell me much. I worrry too much about her and being with her. Thers nothing else I care about. And I telll her a lot, but she never really does, she hates repeating herself. She doesn't mind going far away for college. I asked her what if she met some guy nice like me but that was doing something good for the future, and she liked him. She said she could leave me for him if she liked him because he would be doing something good for the future.

Well all that sounds scary. But we also get along really well. We are really comfortable and we are still together no matter what. It just seems that I care too much and I am too nice and I love her so much. For her its just like another love. But she says that she does really love me and want to stay with me forever.

[oblit]

Stop showering her with attention, compliments, gifts, and probably that new "call me anytime and Ill come running" car you just got her. Those are the sensible things to do, but they just don't make her feel attracted to you. My suggestion? Start teasing her. Take control of the situation. Show her that you are worthy of her without sucking up, which is a message that conveys, "I need to buy your attention". It's the sad truth, my friend. I learned it bigtime in high school, and I want to help you out...

[kp2171]

thers nothing else i care about.

This is called obsession. It is also called, and I'm sorry if its sounds harsh but you need to hear the unvarnished truth, having no life.

Really. There's nothing else you care about than her? Do you think that's a turn on for women? Caring is fine. Respecting her, complimenting her, all good. But in my experience, the women I know want a man who has a life... and not one that revolves around making them happy all the time. That might be fun for a while, but its pretty one dimensional long term.

Here's a secret... most of us have felt like this to some degree with our first loves, so don't feel so bad. If I'm being blunt its because I don't want you to waste too much time with half truths.

The truth is, no matter how good she is for you, you need a life that is independent and not built on the success of a relationship.

i asked her what if she met some guy nice like me but that was doing something good for the future, and she liked him. she said she could leave me for him if she liked him because he would be doing something good for the future.

Umm... yeah.

This ties into problem one. She likes you enough but would be glad to be with a guy with more going on.

This sounds like she likes you, and maybe loves you. You are in over your head cause its your first love. You are in deeper than her, which is never fun. You need to back off a little, or a lot... because she isn't as vested as you.

If you can live with that and have fun, all is great. If you can't live with that, then you should think twice about the relationship.

Again, most of us have been through this in some form or another.