[talaniman]

Maybe that's the real problem. You don't have a life that you enjoy without her. That can be fixed with a little work on your part.

I suggest you roll up your sleeves, and get busy getting your own life that makes you happy.

[amicon]

Your purpose is being you and find your own happiness-nobody else should be your reason to be happy-nor is anyone else responsible for your happiness.

Accept that its over and start rebuilding your life.

[silent007]

May be I do accept it that's why I feel so crap all the time.. I mean I've just lost interest in doing any thing that I once liked doing. When I'm not at work. I'm just happy to make myself tired and veg out falling asleep in front of the TV...

May be IM depressed. IM kind of against taking medication, id rather get myself up out of it but when I wake up every day and have no reason to get out of bed other then to face facts it's hard..

And yes may be I am self pitying myself, our brain is a complex thing. How do we over rule it with positive thoughts?

[neverme]

Have you really began to live a life again? Because it doesn't seem so!

Get out there and do something you've never done before. I don't care if it's a knitting class or sky diving, do something you were interested in before you met her.

Your life did not begin with her but you are allowing it to end with her.

You need to grab hold of yourself respect and self worth and get back on the horse. Of course life is sh!t if all you do is sit about and think about what has gone wrong, we all could do that, but that is not what life is for. It's for living.

So get out there and try it on for size!

[neverme]

And yes may be i am self pittying my self

Dude, Maybe??? YES YOU ARE!

Come on you can do better than this! You say you went to a counselor, have you stopped?

If you have you need to get back in there and, I'm not trying to be rude here but there just isn't enough room at the pity party, strap on a pair.

We all have set backs but it's how we deal with these that determine the people we are.

[silent007]

I see her once and she said I was normal and that I present myself very well. She said it's my ex that needs treatment..

She reaferd me to a A>C>E class which I atteneded for the first time today but it's full of woman. I'm not comfortbale being the only guy there.

[neverme]

You need to go back to a counselor. I don't know who you saw but there is no such thing as normal and you are obviously dealing with issues.

Whether it is group or one on one you need some help with getting through this.

[silent007]

I feel victumised. I feel like all the problems we ever had that arose threw her bad behaviour that she has blamed me for the way I reacted and judged me based on reactions to her bad behaviour..

As a result obviously she ended it!. apart from walk away and give up what can I do to even try to make her realise that?

[talaniman]

You could help yourself by stop being a victim, that's bull crap, thats you telling yourself your a victim. You could also do yourself a big favor, and get off the pity pot. More bull crap your doing to yourself.

You won't get positive thoughts, until you actually do positive things for yourself. There is no other way, and all that self pity is negative energy you direct at yourself.

[Cat1864]

I feel victumised. I feel like all the problems we ever had that arised threw her bad behaviour that she has blamed me for the way i reacted and judged me based on reactions to her bad behaviour..

As a result obviously she ended it!!.. apart from walk away and give up what can i do to even try to make her realise that?

Part of the victim mentality is thinking that you have to change them or get them to see what they did wrong so that you can stop being a victim. Sorry, but it doesn't work that way.

As Tal so eloquently pointed out, you stop being a victim when you stop thinking of yourself as one. Stop looking for her to validate what you think happened in the relationship. Turn around and walk away with your head held high. She is no longer your problem or concern.