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mdrapinski · Feb 2, 2010, 07:22 AM

My exwife and her new husband want to move out of state with my son. I am in arrearage of excess of 10,000+. I previously agreed for her to live in another Country. (Canada) 45mins away from where I live now. I want something done with my arrearage or support. What can I ask for?

cdad · Feb 3, 2010, 08:12 AM

Do you have visitation at this time ? If you do that is about the only thing you can have modified. Support and visitation have nothing to do with the other. If the arrears are wrong or support too high then you go back to court and settle that as a separate issue.

stinawords · Feb 3, 2010, 11:19 AM

As pointed out the visitation and support are two differrent issues. So allowing her to move has absolutely nothing to do with your arrearage. If you support payments are too high (based on the calculation that your state uses) then you can petition the court to modify it. If you have visitation that can me modified but I have no idea what you think the arrearage has to do with them moving.

mdrapinski · Feb 3, 2010, 11:25 AM

She wants to take him out of state much farther away. I already have a visitation calendar made out to when I can see my son, per our agreement.
What about transporting of my child back and forth? Why should I pay for that? I can't afford the pay tolls to go across to Canada to pick my son up now! And the gas to get there and back. Support should be modified just for this reason. I know the visitation schedule that we agreed upon will now have to be changed. Because I'm sure it will not be followed after this move.

cdad · Feb 3, 2010, 11:32 AM

First off you need to formalize the visitation so you have a court order. In that you can ask the if she moves beyond X then she has to pay the charges related to visitation. But that still doesn't affect support.

mdrapinski · Feb 3, 2010, 11:36 AM

Please Reread my first posting! I did not say anything about (re-modificatio) In order for my exwife to leave the state or live in an area much farther away from where my son is in relation to where I live now, she needs my persmission to move without a problem. She just asked me the other day will I approve this without any fight. I told her that we would work something out. There are always hidden legalities that the other parent can ask for or request to the court for help or leniancy regarding these matters.
I know there is no reference to child support/visitation/medical bills/alimony. I have a specialist for each separate entity per Friend of Court. Believe me. LOL! What a lot of help they aren't.

mdrapinski · Feb 3, 2010, 11:43 AM

I should just ask her to agree that we don't need the FOC involved with us. My issue has always been with child support. Never parenting time. Lol. I was behind with child support the 3rd mth. in. lol. I was making 44,000 to her 56,000 back in 2002. And I had to pay her 769.00 a mth for one child. That was childcare/support. Medical her 80% me 20% on top of the 769.00mth. She now makes around 70+yr to my 30+yr. I tried remodifying this but because I'm so far behind in arrears the foc won't change it! Ha ha ha. Now I'm unemployed and my benefits run out in a few weeks. YaY! Got to love mich.

mdrapinski · Feb 3, 2010, 11:46 AM

My ex-wife did offer me to just have her new husband of 6yrs adopt my son. I give up all rights and shell wave all support. Past and present. I'm starting to think about it. I'll never be caught up and I can't keep paying 825.00 now a mth. For a child that I hardly ever see.

cdad · Feb 3, 2010, 12:35 PM

Originally Posted by mdrapinski

I should just ask her to agree that we don't need the FOC involved with us. My issue has always been with child support. never parenting time. lol. I was behind with child support the 3rd mth. in. lol. I was making 44,000 to her 56,000 back in 2002. and i had to pay her 769.00 a mth for one child. that was childcare/support. medical her 80% me 20% on top of the 769.00mth. she now makes around 70+yr to my 30+yr. I tried remodifying this but because I'm so far behind in arrears the foc wont change it!! ha ha ha. now im unemployed and my benefits run out in a few wks. YaY! gotta love mich.

Here is the thing. From the sounds of it they should have modified it if enough time had passed or substantial change in circumstance. In the case of unemployment the change should be temporary and then made permanent ( given limits ) when you find a job. Right now they should have modified it for you.

mdrapinski · Feb 3, 2010, 02:25 PM

Again, there are always hidden legal rights or things that most people don't know about. That's what I need to find out. Thank you for responding, but so far, everything you have said I already know. You have said that they shouldve modified it... shoulda, would have, could have. Lol. There has been many changes of circumstances since my divorce with her and I have tried a few times now to get it my support reduced. Court rejected it every time. Again, because I'm so far behind in arrears they tack on penalties, interest, etc. My ex-wife and I agreed in writing that we both signed to allow me to only have to pay her 425 a mth. We sent that in to the foc and they, lol, dbled it. Which comes to 850mthly.

mdrapinski · Feb 3, 2010, 02:29 PM

Here is the real thing... I'm totally screwed, can't afford a lawyer like she can, FOC doesn't help you, I have done all the research that I can, I have asked for help from different lawyers to help me pro-bono, I know I'm paying wayyy too much and I just want to be done with this. And I really just need a Family Lawyer to help me with what I can legally do and what my ex can legally do. Thanks!

ScottGem · Feb 3, 2010, 02:37 PM

I understand what you are saying, but these are not hidden legal means. They are actually private illegal agreements.

There is one thing I need to know before I can suggest what I think is your best course. Are you paying child support directly to your ex? Or are you paying it to an agency charged with collecting support. If paying to an agency are the payments being deducted from your wages?

stinawords · Feb 4, 2010, 09:02 AM

You really need to make up your mind. If you are thinking about the adoption then yes that will end your obligation to current support but you won't have a child anymore. If you don't want to do the adoption route then you really need to get into court to have visitation through the court that way it isn't just an agreement between the two of you it is enforceable. And modification is possible to make her pay the transportation costs for getting the child to you.