[donf]

Neverme,

Please understand that this thread is very tongue-in-cheek. I care very deeply for my lady and would never hurt her.

This started because she was mad at me yesterday for some undisclosed reason. Bonnie will do this from time to time to keep me on my toes and I guess in line, behaviorally speaking.

I believe that she learned this tactic at Wives's School, you know the school run by the Marquis De Sade. Any way, she has her doctorate in Spousal Management and some 44 years ago Bonnie sent me to Spousal Obedience school since there could only be one manager.

Anyway, I am thankful for the response I've gotten here and in the private message all offering me the opportunity for physical pain or death if I were ever serious.

I am exceeding pleased to know that this subset of Womankind knows that men have to learn the meaning of a "Vow".

By the way, my Grandfather was from County Clare (?) so we are neighbors so to speak.

[neverme]

Oh once I continued I began to laugh. Honestly, very funny.

But the thing is, there would be some people and not on a board like this, but eh... others, that would see that as perfectly reasonable.

Refreshing to see a sense of humour and get a laugh.

So we're neighbours eh? :)

[donf]

Neverme,

There may be other women that may not care is probably true. Fortunately, it does not seem to be the case with the ladies here on this board.

But, hey this is a guys fantasy, right. I should punish my wife when she's right? Why she deserves it! She's always right, very frustrating. :)

P.S. We all know there are two kinds of people in this world, those of us that are Irish and them that hope to be Irish someday!

[neverme]

You know it's not that easy on us women either being right all the time ;)

[donf]

But you handle the mantle so very well.

[J_9]

Wow, Don, you've got it wrong. We are not always right, you just have to learn exactly how to tell us we are wrong.

[donf]

Tell my wife she is wrong!

I would rather have a root canal done with out pain medication. Or try to pet a foaming at the mouth German Shepard dog.

I personally can count on one finger the number of times I've won an argument and come out ahead in the last 44 years.

Usually it is much safer to just acquiesce and lose. The cost of wining may be much higher than losing!

[Catsmine]

Tell my wife she is wrong!!

I would rather have a root canal done with out pain medication. Or try to pet a foaming at the mouth German Shepard dog.

I personally can count on one finger the number of times I've won an argument and come out ahead in the last 44 years.

Usually it is much safer to just acquiesce and lose. The cost of wining may be much higher than losing!

I forget who said it, but here's the perfect advice on a successful marriage: If by chance you ever win an argument, sir, apologise immediately!

[KISS]

This reminds me of mom when I was a little kid:

me: Why can't I do or have x?

mom: Because

me: Because why?

mom: Because I said so.

[donf]

I have a philosophy on mothers.

It is a given that all women are linked together "In utero", correct. Start at that premise.

When a woman determines that she is pregnant, she runs an automatic data scan to discover the gender of the child.

If the "getgender" call returns a binary 1, then the mom knows the child is female. Once that is established, all data pipes are opened and this immense kluge of raw data about everything is dumped down to the child.

However, if the "getgender" call returns a binary "0" then mom sends only minimal information. Such as what a recliner is, a remote (TV is optional), football and of course "Woman", "Woman" comes with an asterisk that tell us to do the best we can!

Now on the surface, that's sounds cruel, but think about it. When "Women" asks us, "Just how stupid are you?" We are now entitled to say, "You, "You, " have no one else to blame, you made me like this in your image and wisdom!"

Funny, it never works in my home.

[Gemini54]

I'm in Australia, but I'm Italian. Would it work if I provided long distance 'comfort' electronically?

I would hesitate to offer anything more personal, or closer geographically, since you Yanks are so trigger happy and your madder half is Scottish/Italian (stubborn combination!) and has been in the US marines.

What? No acceptance of my offer?

Sob. :(:(

Now I'm the one who is sulking...

[donf]

Gemini54,

Once again, I am honored that you would even consider sharing your person and heart with me, even if it is in an abstract way. Given that I am now 63, a lot past pudgy. But I do have a full head of hair and all my teeth.

The problem is the distance between us. While I do get an allowance, sometimes as high as $0.50 a week, by the time I save up the money to visit you, I will have forgotten why I wanted to be in your presence.

Electrically speaking is too much like electrical shock therapy. Not that I would not deserve it!

[Gemini54]

Very funny, and sad about your allowance, but I was suggesting a less expensive form of travel.. heh... everyone seems to get off on it these days... but if the old ticker is too weak, then fate is against us.

Any movement on the Bonnie front? Is she still mad?

[Devorameira]

You are literally hilarious! I bet she's had a great 45 years with you!:)

[donf]

Dev,

In my humble opinion, she's had it perfect. Of course that is my side of the equation.

You would have to ask my lady for her side.

[Alty]

Don dear, I was seriously worried, for around 2 seconds. My heart stopped. Don't do that again! ;)

Sweetie, you've been married for 44 years, don't you now by now that all you have to do is say sorry and buy flowers and it's all good? Wait.. maybe she's caught on to that ploy. Better try something new. Chocolate! Buy chocolate, and alcohol! :)

If that doesn't work, a nice shopping trip, with you willing to hold her purse while she tries on clothes, should synch the deal. You'll be out of the dog house in no time. :)

[donf]

Gem,

Your offer sounds good to me.

As to my lady, she's fine now. Again, I think it was just a ploy to keep me off balance and therefore somewhat well behaved.

She's doing a lot of looking at me and chuckling about something secret.

[Alty]

Gem,

Your offer sounds good to me.

As to my lady, she's fine now. Again, I think it was just a ploy to keep me off balance and therefore somewhat well behaved.

She's doing a lot of looking at me and chuckling about something secret.

Is she reading over your shoulder? If so, you better hope she's chuckling because she finds this funny and not because she found a cheap hit man that will kill you and hide your body. ;)

[Stringer]

Hi Don, this thread has been so much fun, it has made me laugh and smile more than once... good job my friend.

[Alty]

Hi Don, this thread has been so much fun, it has made me laugh and smile more than once.....good job my friend.

It gave me a much needed chuckle too Stringer.

By the way. I miss you!