[00dude]

Is it normal to feel as if I'm going backwards though? I am doing the no contact thing but I have faltered a coupl of times over the past couple of months I wantto be able not to hink about why she doesn't want me but it does creep into my head all to often an I try som of the things I have read about but there is times where it builds up and gets too much

[talaniman]

Sorry guy, but you sound like a guy with few friends, or activities.

[redhed35]

Every time to break nc,you start again.

So when ever the last was that you made contact, that's your starting point.

Its natural yes it go back and forth in the beginning,but if you have made contact,that would explain your feelings.

Do you exercise regularly? If not I strongly recommend it,it will help you sleep,it produces those feel good hormones and something like running takes your mind into a new space,where all you here is your own breathing and the sound of your feet on the road,this gives your mind a chance to relax and find solutions to problems.

A relaxation cd would be no harm either.

Lay of the alcohol,its depressent.

[00dude]

The last time we spoke she was the one who contacted me first but I didn't know what to say so was just small talk then I told her I had to goafter a couple of minutes, the reasn istopped the no contct in the first place was that I felt guilty from deleting her from everything in my life, but do know that th moths leading you to us speaking was no were as bad as its been after, I've nevr been able to sleep properly for years so its summat I don't really think about and I am out the house all weeken doing activities with my friends bike riding, cinema, rock climbing etc but it doesn't stop me thinking about her, I do feel better pyhsicaly dontget me wrong plus I work long hours during week so gives me a lot of time to think and I nevr plan ahead usually do things on the spot or with not much time to organise more exciting that way

[jmw0713]

Just keep going out an having fun with your friends. This will help you keep your mind off her. If she calls, try your best to ignore her. I know it's harder than it sounds. I went through a period where my ex contacted me frequently. We made a lot of "small talk" and whatever. All it did was make me miss her more and instill a sense of false hope that we would get back together. Then I hung out with her and saw how things really were. It wasn't good. It is best to just be done with her and cut her out of your life. You will save yourself a TON on pain and anguish if you do.

[00dude]

Yeah I know I needto move on in a previous relationship w broke up and got bck together afte a few months which is what I wanted but it took us getting back together for me to relise I really didn't want to be with her and how horrible she treat me when all my mates were telling me while we broke up, I tried chooseing an hour a work today where I sai to myself I'm not going to think about her till at least a certain time which went OK but because I was frcing myself int no thinking about her it she kept popping into my mind and id quickly tink of sumat else is very hard thing to do

[unsurenow]

I know exactly how u feel.. it hurts, jhow can someone you are with so long, act like what uj two had was nothing and transfer feelings to the next clown.. please.. love makes time.

[00dude]

Well I met this girl we went out on a few dates but she says she doesn't feel a connection, she said I'm funny great to be around and make her laugh so I just accepted it but she messages me a lot and we get on so well when we see each other and she texts me things after we've met like I had a great time tonight was nice to catch up and contacts me when she knows I'm out in town on the night I'm confused because too me she is doing things that make me feel like she likes me that way but I guess I'm only going to see it from my position, does anybody have any ideas on what she wants is it worth me putting all my effort onto her?

[jaime90]

No. She has already stated that she does not feel a connection. It would be a good idea to back off and keep things at friendship level.
Store your effort away for a girl that wants to put effort into you.

[I wish]

Seems pretty clear that she's content with a friendship. Funny how, when we have feelings for another person, we try to twist their words into thinking that they are interested in us.

If she was interested in your or considering a possibility, she wouldn't have said that she doesn't feel a connection.

Accept the friendship and move on. If you can't handle the friendship, i.e. only friends because you have a sense of false hope that something more can happen, then leave her out of her life until you feelings for her have gone away. Otherwise, you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.

[ohsohappy]

I can tell you, as a female, that it's definitely possible for a girl to see a guy as just a friend. She's probably very friendly, outgoing, flirty, and all that, but she KNOWS that she can get your attention. I'm sure she likes knowing that a guy likes her, and even though she doesn't like you as a boyfriend, she still likes you as a friend. It's kind of a weird middle feeling, it can send the wrong signals.

[00dude]

I met a girl on Saturday night while out clubbing she introduced herself to me and for the next couple of hourse we were talking and having a great time in which we exchanged phone numbers, also she had her arm round me at one point and most of our attention was on each other rather than anyone else, I texted her when I got home saying it was nice to meet her and I had fun and she said she had a good night too, the next day though when we were talking over text message she didn't seem as keen as the night before and it was talking her a while to text, I am working late this week and she was out last night so didn't want to invade when she was with friends and I don't get home till 10:30 and don't want to text late in case she is in bed etc have I made a mistake in not contacting her or shall I do it in the morning which I was planning on too, plus this girl makes me forget about other things and I can't take my mind off her I really enjouyed her company and want to ask her out on a date but I don't want to make the mistake of coming on too strong or not being interested, have I wated too long or shall I leave it a while to ask her out what do you think would be best?

[mallie619]

You should try and ask her out on a date..
But don't be so upset or hurt if she says no...
If she does say no
Give her a couple days and try talking to her again don't try and jump into the relationship so quick

[00dude]

I won't be upset I would rather have a yes or no answer asap but don't want to come on too strong straight away

[I wish]

If she responded to your texts, then she's willing to keep in touch anyway. So no need to over-analyze.

You sound like a nice guy, but why not call her? If she wanted to go out with you, she would. No need to worry about coming on strong.

[00dude]

I haven't text her for a couple of days though wouldn't it be wired if I just came out asking her out in the morning?

[Enigma1999]

Hello Dude,

As a women's point of view, I would ask her to hang out. It's more romantic for me to have a man pursue me then the other way around. I say go for it!

[I wish]

You're worried about coming on too strong, but if anything, you didn't do enough.

You don't need to worry about when you're texting her. You should text her whenever you feel like it and she will respond when she has time.

Furthermore, calling her to ask her to hang out isn't coming on strong either. It's called getting to know each other.

How are you suppose to build friendships or relationships if you don't even have any contact or communication with the other person.

I think that this is a question of confidence on your part. Get some courrage, pick up the phone and give it a shot.

The worst that can happen is that she's no longer interested in getting to know you better. But at least you would know the answer, as opposed to constantly wondering what she's thinking.

[00dude]

Like I said before I'm working lates this week so if I text her in the mornin and she don't reply till later I won't be able to speak back till I finsh work so if I ask the question I won't be able to do out about the answer, and I know my confidece is a bit low because of a previous relationship I don't want to mess things up but like you said I should have said more but don't think its appropriate to contact her so late at night

[00dude]

Well I sent her a message this morning asking how she is and if she had a good night when she was out but no reply, maybe I just got my judgment wrong on Saturday night thinking that she was interested