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nebunel · Jan 31, 2010, 08:02 PM

Ok so at first we began as friends, and all the time I knew that he has a girlfriend he always was very sincere with me. He told me that he still likes her that she is nice, and she cares a lot for him but he doesn't feel the same for her anymore, and that he can not break up with her cause she didn't do anything wrong, that he has no excuse no reasons... I'm really sad and confuse... and now he wants to get back to being just friends cause it's just the right thing to do... but I don´t know if I can cause I like him too much to be just friends... and I want him for me but I don´t know what to do... help guys :(

Cat1864 · Jan 31, 2010, 08:39 PM

You need to let him go and remember that he is not available. I would suggest breaking off the friendship and a giving yourself time to heal from this.

There are stickies at the top of the forum that can help you find a way that works for you. It won't be easy, but then what's good for us seldom is.

Get out and make new friends. Keep yourself busy-mind and body. Maybe try something new that will occupy your time. Try to have as little to no contact with him as you can.

Take care of yourself and good luck.

amicon · Jan 31, 2010, 11:24 PM

I agree with Cat,and when somebody has a girlfriend being intimate with someone else is cheating-not a nice trait.
Don't try to stay friends,cut him out of your life.

There are nice,unattached guys out there.

Alty · Jan 31, 2010, 11:42 PM

He's a cheater, that's a good enough reason for him to give to his girlfriend for dumping her.

Having said that, you should go to No Contact and find someone that is available to be with you and wants to be with you.

Sorry sweetie, but you're nothing but a few laughs and some sex to him, otherwise he'd be with you.

Forget him, you deserve someone better.

nebunel · Feb 1, 2010, 09:14 AM

But there is a problem that I can not quit talking to him cause I see him everyday he plays in my band...

HistorianChick · Feb 1, 2010, 09:16 AM

He has a girlfriend. He is not available.

My one rule for relationships is simple: If a man/woman is in a relationship/dating/engaged/married, he/she is not available. Period.

Stand up for yourself. Don't be used. You're worth someone who wants you and you only.

People do what they want to do. If he wanted to break up with his girlfriend, he would.

Cat1864 · Feb 1, 2010, 09:20 AM

Originally Posted by nebunel

But there is a problem that i can not quit talking to him cause i see him everyday he plays in my band...

That doesn't mean you have to have any more contact with him than necessary. Keep conversations to band related topics. Does anyone else know what has been going on?

nebunel · Feb 1, 2010, 09:24 AM

No we didn´t said anything to anyone ,after all he has a girlfriend and it´s not OK... but I really like him and I know that it will be very hard for me to be even near him... I actually thinking about quiting the band... but it´s what I love to do singing is my life... I´m really confused...

amicon · Feb 1, 2010, 09:44 AM

As Cat said,only talk to him when its to do with the band,and make sure you keep busy during practice etc. Why quit the band if that's what you love doing?

talaniman · Feb 1, 2010, 10:17 AM

By your own words you knew what the deal was before you did the deed.

What the heck are you thinking that one cheating moment meant something more than what it was, a roll in the hay?

See this for what it is, and pretend it never happened as right, or wrong, he cheated, and you helped.

Fact is he doesn't want more, as you do, and as hard as that is to accept, you must.

neverme · Feb 1, 2010, 11:36 AM

It doesn't matter if you really like him to be perfectly blunt. He doesn't see you as you see him, if he did he would have been a man about it and broke up with his girlfriend to be with you.

He didn't. He got some cheap thrills and is now on his way back to his girlfriend. The poor girl doesn't even know she's got a cheater on her hands.

This guy isn't worth your time and thoughts. He's a liar and a cheater and he has no problem hurting both you and his girlfriend.

Move on to a guy that deserves you.

liz28 · Feb 1, 2010, 08:22 PM

Most cheaters use the extact same line he used on you. "I like/love my girlfriend but she doesn't do it for me like she used too and I will never leave her but I can and willl cheat on her".

I think some how you thought by sleeping with him he might leave his girlfriend. I could be wrong but however what is done is done but there is a valuable lesson to be learnt from this and hopefully yopu learnt something.