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    backtoyoubabe0715's Avatar
    backtoyoubabe0715 Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 31, 2010, 10:50 PM
    A Sexually active man who hasn't slept in the same bed as a woman?
    I'm currently in a casual relationship with this guy right now. However, the other night I stayed over at his place, and he told me that I was the first woman he has ever just slept with. And before I went to sleep I could feel that he was really tense about me being there. I'm just curious, is this a common first for a man (who is sexually active?) He's 26! Is this a sign of someone who cannot be emotionally intimate? Is it weird that I'm kind of freaked out by this? Or is it no big deal?
    J. Sparks's Avatar
    J. Sparks Posts: 69, Reputation: 15
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    #2

    Feb 1, 2010, 12:39 AM

    Are you saying he is gay and you're the first woman he slept with ?
    I'm not quite sure what your situation is.
    backtoyoubabe0715's Avatar
    backtoyoubabe0715 Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Feb 1, 2010, 12:42 AM

    He's not gay. I'm the first woman he's ever slept in the same bed with, I hope that clarifies things.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #4

    Feb 1, 2010, 12:44 AM

    I'm confused-slept with as in slept over or slept with as had sex with and then slept in the same bed?
    Please clarify.
    backtoyoubabe0715's Avatar
    backtoyoubabe0715 Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Feb 1, 2010, 12:45 AM

    We have had sex before, but this is the first time I've actually stayed over with him.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #6

    Feb 1, 2010, 12:48 AM

    Ok-thanks.
    He may have issues regarding intimacy and commitment but the best way to find out would be to ask him.
    We can only guess.
    J. Sparks's Avatar
    J. Sparks Posts: 69, Reputation: 15
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    #7

    Feb 1, 2010, 01:49 AM

    OK, so you're the first girl he's let stay overnight.
    That's clarifies a lot.

    Anyway, it sounds good to me. Think positive.
    Sounds like you're the first women he actually wants more with. Look at it that way. :)

    Leave your fears at the door dear and keep going with the flow.
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #8

    Feb 1, 2010, 02:06 AM
    Perhaps in the past he never got to the stage where a girl stayed over.

    Take your time in the relationship,he was probably nervous.

    I don't think it odd at all.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Feb 1, 2010, 01:50 PM

    Don't freak out over his first time with a sleep over. It happens. After many g/f's, and intimate friends, my wife was the first sleep over for me too.
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
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    #10

    Feb 1, 2010, 02:00 PM

    I thought you said it was casual, if it is does he know this?

    Seems he's letting you in farther than he let others. If this is true and he sees it as more than you do it may become a problem.

    Or maybe his only experiences are with one night stands that left straight after?
    backtoyoubabe0715's Avatar
    backtoyoubabe0715 Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Feb 1, 2010, 10:41 PM

    Hmm. Thanks for all the comments.
    I think that he may have intimacy issues. We have both spoken about how our relationship is casual all the time, but the amount he calls me and talks to me, and the fact that he let me stay over at his house isn't congruent with him wanting a casual relationship.
    J. Sparks's Avatar
    J. Sparks Posts: 69, Reputation: 15
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    #12

    Feb 2, 2010, 02:46 AM

    Okay, well.. . Only you can be the best judge of that.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #13

    Feb 2, 2010, 01:02 PM

    You need to communicate with him about what your relationship is, or if this is OK with you. It's your decision

    But as for the intimacy part, it could be he's used to sleeping in the bed with all the maneuver room, with my fiancé it was an adjustment because she's a cover hog
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