Disheartened

intensive · Dec 4, 2006, 01:55 PM

Hi everyone,

I have returned for some more of your very helpful advice and as before I would appreciate your comments. I informed you that I have been seeing this guy for the past 4 months. We botht live in different countries as I moved away for work reasons. I am finding things between the 2 of us difficult because I left at a time when we barely knew each other (going out about 6 weeks at the time). Although I have never portrayed any of this to him I can get quite needy which I am ashamed to say but I am also quite disheartened at the way things are currently between us. Some of those things include his casual approach to things such as asking "how's it going" and "I hope work was ok for you this week". There is no direct question asking me "how things are". I always express an interest in what he's doing but doesn't seem to be very much interest from him. Am I been stupid and just play cool and see what might happen or just call it a day? I would not be writing this but at the minute I feel low about the way things currently are between us. I do like this guy because although I am down about things he is a good person.

Many thanks again.
Intensive

shygrneyzs · Dec 4, 2006, 02:11 PM

You both sound like good persons. However, the distance right now does not sound conducive to building a quality relationship. Why not be friends and leave it at that? I would not try to exude something from him that does not appear to be there - "I always express an interest in what he's doing but doesn't seem to be very much interest from him"

He could just be placing some emotional distance to match the physical distance, and as you said, you were only involved for six weeks. I would not put forth a great deal of effort into creating any expectations from him right now - other than the friendship. Best to concentrate on your new environment, work, coworkers, etc. Enjoy your life as it presents itself to you. And best of all to you.

Just Someone · Dec 4, 2006, 02:15 PM

Think to yourself if he is worth all the heartache he is causing you and if he is, which he sounds like he is to you. Go make things right, don't waste time because you never know how much time you have. Go out and get what you want cause if you don't it will just pass on by. I don't know if this is helping but good luck anyway.

LUNAGODDESS · Dec 4, 2006, 02:30 PM

Just ask him how does he feel about you and tell him to be honest. Read for the details of what he misses about you and what he wants from you.

Our you in a professional position? Never does either wants to give up there love of self reliance just for the sake of love.

Are the problems you having about this relationship are due to your age? Give that worry up. Many men are looking for women that are self confident, and self- reliant.

In the mean while do not just sit at home waiting for that letter or telephone call... get out go around the corner to the nearest PUB and have a small pint on me... (I would not want any one thinking that you are available - smile ha-ha). If you are not into lagers of such then head to the coffee house or tea room and take a book. Having a book at a coffee or tea house brings forth the most interesting people. Give yourself a test. Check and see if you are solid in your mind for this guy.

intensive · Dec 4, 2006, 02:42 PM

I have read all your replies and yes shygrneyzs I do believe you are right. I do want to keep contact with him and be his friend, maybe that is all we can be at the minute. Maybe this time away is the opportunity to get to know him and see wahta happens, have no expectations. Thanks again for the sound advice.

Regrads,
intensive