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    starscollide's Avatar
    starscollide Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jan 26, 2010, 06:46 PM
    Guys:why date a girl that looks nothing like your ex?
    What would make you go for a girl that is the polar opposite of your ex when it comes to appearance and religion, when you said, you'd never date someone outside your religion. And its not a matter of the new girl having a better personality because your friends even complained to you that they preferred your ex.

    Its complicated to write out; however, I find myself in the position of having questions concerning my ex's current girlfriend. He's made it clear he's attracted to me, yet she looks nothing like me. Similar personality traits are present; moreover, he still talks to me and is flirtatious. Yet I can't for the life of me understand why he's with her when he knows how I feel about him, and his friends have even said he still has strong feelings for me. Why be with her?

    I'm expecting the usual "personality outranks looks;" however, my exes friends have even commented that my ex even knows I have a better personality. HELP!!
    EmoPrincess's Avatar
    EmoPrincess Posts: 1,068, Reputation: 92
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    #2

    Jan 26, 2010, 06:51 PM

    My fiancé looks nothing like and is nothing like my x. For one my fiance's a male and my ex is a female. Guys can have various tastes. For example, a guy can like fiesty redheads and also have a thing for submissive brunettes (not classifying either of these as each, just an example of different girls)
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    Jan 26, 2010, 06:56 PM

    Most people, once they're mature enough to realize that looks aren't everything, don't date for looks.

    So he's attracted to different looks, what's the big deal? Does she have to look like you? No.

    I really don't understand why this is confusing for you. Obviously the two of you didn't work out, so why would he date someone just like you?
    starscollide's Avatar
    starscollide Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Jan 26, 2010, 07:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Altenweg View Post
    Most people, once they're mature enough to realize that looks aren't everything, don't date for looks.

    So he's attracted to different looks, what's the big deal? Does she have to look like you? No.

    I really don't understand why this is confusing for you. Obviously the two of you didn't work out, so why would he date someone just like you?
    Okay lets try this again... he's made clear that not only does he find me more attractive and more of his "serious relationship" type... he's also made it clear that I also have a better personality. However, why stay with the downgrade is my question. Okay.. continue...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #5

    Jan 26, 2010, 07:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by starscollide View Post
    Okay lets try this again....he's made clear that not only does he find me more attractive and more of his "serious relationship" type...he's also made it clear that I also have a better personality. However, why stay with the downgrade is my question. Okay..continue...
    If you're all that and a bag of chips, why is he with her and not you? That's my question.

    Has he told you all of this or is this all stuff that his friends and your friends have told you he's saying?

    The fact is, he's not with you, he's with her. That speaks volumes.
    EmoPrincess's Avatar
    EmoPrincess Posts: 1,068, Reputation: 92
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    #6

    Jan 26, 2010, 07:06 PM

    You sound very vain, please don't take offense to this. He seems to want to be with her more than he wants to be with you, else you and he would still be an item. He sees more in her than you see. Whether he admits it or not. For the best answer, ask him.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Jan 26, 2010, 07:14 PM

    And if he jujmped from one relationship to another, he may have so hated and was so sick of the one, he wanted someone totally different.

    In any case, he is moved on, now it is your turn to move on
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #8

    Jan 26, 2010, 07:37 PM

    The relationship is over, he is now looking for something different. I prefer blondes, always have, but Sophia Bush is hot! Once you get mature enough, you will realize that looks don't matter as much as personality
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #9

    Jan 26, 2010, 07:46 PM

    The key to this question is he is your ex. The two of you broke up for a reason.

    He has moved on.

    He has found out that something else (other than his "norm") can become something special in his life.

    Time for you to do the same.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #10

    Jan 26, 2010, 09:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by starscollide View Post
    Okay lets try this again....he's made clear that not only does he find me more attractive and more of his "serious relationship" type...he's also made it clear that I also have a better personality.
    His actions certainly don't back this up , either that or he's lying to you.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #11

    Jan 26, 2010, 09:16 PM

    My take on it is this.

    If you buy a Ford and it gives you nothing but trouble, when it's time to buy a new car, will you buy a Ford?

    Probably not.

    If something doesn't work, you look for something different that will.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #12

    Jan 27, 2010, 05:30 PM

    Why are you worrying about your ex's girlfriend, anyway?

    Concentrate on you and what makes you desirable to someone worthy.

    Like being a together individual that could care less about that BS.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Jan 27, 2010, 06:36 PM

    His actions speak louder than his words, or what any one else says to be honest. He made his choice, and he is with her.

    Do you want him back so bad that you will listen to anything that's said to justify your false hope?

    Don't be confused by the words, and opinions of others who have no say in who he is with, nor be played by him who is with someone else, and not you.

    That sends a bad message that he can treat you any way he wants, and still keep you hung up on his BS!
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #14

    Jan 27, 2010, 06:55 PM

    Yeah, 16 or 60, doesn't matter. We continue to learn. That's life. Using what we know, and not forgetting or denying for our own personal reasons.

    At 16, didn't even have a girlfriend, I think freedom was all I cared about. Was just starting to try & figure it all out. Some killer times, actually.

    The point is, things change and why we attract & are attracted to others. Physically and emotionally, depending on where we are in life.

    Get ready.
    emopunk7's Avatar
    emopunk7 Posts: 1,052, Reputation: 161
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    #15

    Jan 28, 2010, 04:38 AM

    Time to forget about the ex. Stay busy. It doesn't matter who or why he chose the opposite. We don't know why anyway. What we do know is that we want you to push forward with your life and be happy!
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #16

    Jan 28, 2010, 05:10 AM

    Leave him and all the mindgames in the past.
    Ignore all 'they said-he said' and move on from this place.

    Don't cling on to the past,live in the present and look forward to the future.

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