[fisk]

My mum died when I was 10. My dad never remarried since. I'm now 23, living my own life, living abroad to study, and I'll be starting work next year. The type of work I'll probably be doing makes it very possible that I don't return home, at least not next year. I have talked to my dad about it, saying that I would have loved for him to be with someone, so he won't be alone, but he kind of got used to living on his own. Plus, he's now 60, and he's hardly the kind of person who meets people or gets close to them easily.

My heart breaks at the thought of him being alone at home, and me living my life abroad. But at the same time, it's MY life. I'm more than grateful about what he has done to me, but should I sacrifice my happiness so he'll be happy? I have a boyfriend here, I don't want to leave him either. And the job opportunities, as I said, are better.

I don't know what to think. And this is not just for next year, it's even for easter holidays. I want to go visit my boyfriend's country for the first time, which means that I wouldn't be spending it with my dad for the first time.

Sometimes I feel like a bad daughter and feel so selfish, sometimes I think otherwise.

And it all makes me sad cause I keep wishing my mum was here... everything would be simpler:(

[redhed35]

Have you considered that your dad would want you to travel and enjoy your life?

Have you talked to him about your fears for him?

60 is young!

Maybe there is something he has always wanted to do,travel,take up a hobbie.

Give your dad a chance to reassure you,a year does seem long,but there are so many ways to communicate now,you can set up a web cam for him,emails,text,phone...

Talk to him.

Spread your wings and live your life,you only get once chance,grab it with both hands.

[fisk]

What if I never go back... what if I decide to live abroad.

We talk often, as I have been studying abroad for 4 years now. But I know he expects me to go back one day.

He doesn't seem to have any aspirations. He's devoted his life to his work, and to us. And now that we've grown up, he'll be left with no one.

[J_9]

I feel your pain. My mother is in the same situation as your father.

However, she loves her life. She tells me all the time she would not have it any other way.

You will go back, if just to visit.

[redhed35]

I'm sure your dad has his own life,and is used to things as they are now.

You could always try to visit once of twice a year and him visit you also.

Do you have siblings?

Are you the eldest?

Your sense of responability towards your dad is commendable,but don't let your love for him or your worry for him dampen your own life.

As a parent myself I understand that my will children will leave home and hopefully have full happy lives,I don't expect them to put their lives on hold for me,I want them to grow.

Your dad is still young.. really.. perhaps when he retires he may consider moving,maybe he will meet someone,all things are possible.