[fisk]

Hi everyone,

I have been going out with the first guy I've ever slept with for 7 months now. He'25 and I'm 23. Even though I had boyfriends in the past, it never really felt that good with someone so it never went to the next level. When I met my guy, we clicked right away, and it all went really fast. I have never felt this way about anyone.
Unfortunately he lives in another country, but we still manage to see each other for at least 3 days every 2 weeks. We are both doing sacrifices so we can find the money to see each other, because we are both still students. We talk every night, and every time I see him, it's even better.
Today I was having coffee with some girlfriends and most of them agreed that a girl's fist guy is never the best guy for her, even if everyone seems to think so at first. People say that sexually the more experiences you have the best it gets; and that the most guys you go out with, the better you know what you really need.

I'm not saying I'm going to marry my boyfriend, but it's just that I don't want to think that this won't last, just because he's my first. I love him, and I have waited for a long time for him, otherwise I wouldn't have been a virgin until I was 23. He respects me, and he says he's never felt this way about anyone; and he's had his share of girlfriends.

This threat probably makes no sense, but I guess I just freaked out at the idea of this being 'just a first', when I'm feeling so strongly about him. For all the more experienced ladies out there, have you heard of people staying with 'their first' and being happy about it?

[jaime90]

I met my first boyfriend when I was 15, and began a relationship with him when I was 16. We were also in a long distance relationship, as he's in the military, and I had my first kiss with him when I was 18. I also slept with him several months later. He's my first, and I gave everything to him- first boyfriend, first hugs, first kiss, first time... We fell in love. I'm now engaged to him, and I wish everyone was as lucky as I am when it comes to my relationship.

It is not true that a girl's first guy is never the best guy for her. Different things work for different people. A good way to make sure that your first IS the right one for you, is to befriend him first. That way you aren't in a relationship when he decides to show his true colors.

Performing well sexually of course, does take practice, but who says it has to be with several guys? Can't you have a lot of sexual experience with one guy, as oppose to a lot of sexual experience with ten guys?
In my case, it's a special thing to think that my man taught me these things. I know exactly what he likes because I was taught to perform physically, in ways that he likes, I've never known anything different.

You must realize that love is not just romantic feelings for someone, it is trust, respect, and commitment.

My advice to you is to make sure that you are not just "feeling" love, but you are choosing to love in spite of feelings and emotions. Take out the warm, fuzzy feeling and do you think you could truly love this man and stay with him forever, even die for him?

Also, I suggest slowing down. It's only been a few months, and there's a good chance that he (maybe even you) are trying to look "nice" to the other person- hiding your negative qualities. Take it slow, don't rush. It might be good to add, that me and my fiancé went into our relationship with the intention to get married. We weren't looking to mess around, we took it seriously.

[none12345]

You shouldn't even worry about this just yet. It is true that most of the cases one's first love isn't the one you end up with forever but that doesn't mean you won't end up with him. You should just enjoy the times you guys spent and see where it goes from here. If its meant to be, it will happen.

[I wish]

Once you start thinking about what else is out there, you loose focus on the current relationship.

If you aren't happy with the current situation, whether it's your first or 10th boyfriend, you find ways to work it out. If you can't work it out, then you go your separate ways.

But if you're happy with what you have, then continue to build a stronger relationship. Let things fall into place naturally.

[fisk]

Thanks a lot for your answers! I AM happy with the current situation, that's why the talk made me feel so bad. I'll just try to relax and enjoy the moment, stop thinking that it's 'too good to be true'... because it is!