[trouse2931]

My father is always hateful to me. He's a drunk. But either way drunk or sober I get treated bad. He always tells me he hates me, I'm nothing to him, everything is my fault, he calls me names and cusses at me. I do everything he says. He is a lazy man. I can be in my room on the other side of the house or doing anything and he will tell me to get him a ashtray that is 5 feet by him or to dial a number or look up something. He agervates me that he tries to get attention he pretends he is death. I do everything he says. And he tells me I'm nothing that really hurts me. I have to older sisters that are married. When they lived in the house he wasn't never mean to him as he is to me. Since they have left I feel like I'm a dog. I always have to do everything. I love to clean so I clean the house a lot. My father will make a big mess and make me clean it up. He makes me do all the dirty work. Even I got to write the workers checks and stub it and stuff. Its not my job to do that. My mom she wants to move out but she don't have a job because he won't let her. But she's going to school even though he won't let her do that. And she is suppose to graduate in 2011 of may. She said she's only going to school to help me and her have a better life. But I need help. He gets mad when I ask for money even for a need I have to beg me and my mom does too. He gets mad when I have to go to the doctor he seems like he don't care about me. My mom is always having her school work up her butt. I understand radiology is hard but she don't never have time taking up for me. When he tells me he hates me and I'm nothing and stuff she only tells him to hush, or shutup. She don't say nothing like don't say that to her or nothing. It feels that she only says that so she can kiss his tail for him to pay her ride so she can move. But He tells me that stuff when he's drunk or sober. I always take up for my mom when he calls her bad names and tries to hit her. I accually cuss at him and push him if he tries to hit her. I have pushed him across the room for talking crap about her so much. I get tried of getting treated this way. My mom said I could move but I've tried 2 or 3 times and he won't even let me out of the house to go to the friends house. But I feel a little better since I wrote this you might not wanted the story but it goes with the question kind of. But my question is how can I deal with him treating me this way

[jaysie90]

How old are you? Do you go to school?

[Wondergirl]

I'm really impressed with how you are trying to rise above your awful situation. May 2011 is only about a year away. Can you stand things that long?

Maybe try this -- when your dad wants something, play along and get it and give him a big smile or sing a little song or do a little dance or ask him if there's anything else you can do. If not, tell him you'll be washing dishes or doing homework, so just give a whistle.

You see, your dad has a huge emotional hole inside him, so he has to be mean and nasty and controlling and demanding in his poor way to try to fill up that hole. Of course, it doesn't work, so he continues to be mean and nasty and controlling and demanding. (And please don't tell him this, or he will become worse than ever!! ) People all his life haven't been nice to him, so try "killing him" with kindness. If he asks for a can of beer, ask him if he wants a sandwich or a snack with it. Then if he says yes, put something nice together for him. Always do a little extra for him. If he wonders why you are being so nice, tell him you have decided to be his personal angel (or whatever sounds good to you), that you will be growing up and moving out one of these years, so you want to have good memories.

And be patient with your mom. She has to memorize a lot and read a lot. Be proud of her for trying to improve herself. It sounds like you are doing a great job of helping out around the house and taking some of the workload off her shoulders.

If it turns out they don't want you around, I have first dibs on you. You sound like a wonderful child!