[verismilitude]

Why do men ask for breaks in relationships when it has gone very smoothly and he insists that he has found it good? He says it's due to issues with teenage son which I believe but didn't feel it required a break? Is it a pretext for ending relationship?

[Cat1864]

Without knowing more details every thought would be a guess.

I don't know what problems he is having with the son and it may be that he wants to handle them without involving you. It may be that his relationships are part of the problem as far as the son is concerned. It could be an excuse.

To be honest, how you feel about his parenting issues really doesn't matter. It is how he feels. It is about what he thinks he needs. Give him some time and space. Go about your own life, but IF you want to attempt to work things out later, be open to accepting communication from him.

[amicon]

I would say possibly,or rather probably-and it's not gender specific-women do this as well.

In a good relationship, people ask for the support of their partner in times of trouble-they don't ask for a break.

[Cat1864]

In a good relationship, people ask for the support of their partner in times of trouble

I agree. However, there are cases when that support has to be in the form of space and time such as when another party is involved like a teenage son. If the relationship is part of the issues with the son, then a break may be best for all involved.

[HistorianChick]

I had the same initial reaction as amicon... this isn't a "men" thing, it's a classic line from both men and women.

Unfortunately, normally when people ask for a break, they are starting to distance themselves from the partner and initializing a break up cycle.

Personally, I would want the support of my partner if I was in trouble or facing a problem. It's all part of a normal, healthy relationship; you depend upon each other and are mutually supportive.

He asked for a break, you need to give it to him. But, I think you should talk and find out what's exactly going on in his head. Is he really interested in "taking a break" and resuming the relationship right where you left off, or is he interested in letting you down easy and breaking it off.

You need to watch out for your own heart right now. Don't let him play the break up game. Find out what his intentions are and act accordingly.

Best of luck.

[I wish]

I'm not sure why you generalize "all men." It's a case-by-case, person-by-person type of issue.

Maybe if you provided more information about the particular issue that you are referring to, then we would be able to provide more help.

I would say that actions speak louder than words. Regardless of the excuse/reason that he gives you for ending a relationship, the bottom line is that he doesn't want to continue the relationship anymore, which would mean that he no longer feels the same way about you.

As for "asking for a break", it's just another way of letting the other person down easy. In some rare cases, the person actually does need space, but only he would know the answer to that.