[Ithappenstoall]

Hello
I am wonering what you guys think, how early is to early before sleeping with someone?
I look back on relationship and id like to think that the girl I was with waited a little before she didn't anything. In my case in was a month after I met her and two weeks approxiametely afetr I starte dseeing her

[CravenMorhead]

You're probably going to hate this answer, but it depends on a great number of variables. Mostly on both your views and the views of the person you are seeing. You might sleep with the person on the first date, or you can wait for marriage.

My Ex-Wife and I were going to wait for a month, but only waited a week after we started going out. My current GF, was about two weeks. That is my personal experience.

I think the best solution is clear and honest communication between yourself and your Significant Other. Talking about the expectations for the relationship as well as the sexual aspect.

Lastly, in the "should we have sex" conversation, make sure to discuss birth control. Is her Hormonal birth control enough? Should be use condoms as well? Have we both been tested? What happens if all the methods of birth control fail and she gets pregnant?

Sex is an important step and can alter your life. Communicate, and be safe.

Always,
Craven MorHead

[Synnen]

Personally, from a perspective of a 30-something taxpayer--you should have sex with someone when you know you want to stay with them forever and raise the KIDS that result from sex TOGTHER.

If you're not ready to have a kid together, then you're not ready to have sex with one another.

[Fr_Chuck]

Let me see, in the 60's and early 70's, we normally knew at least their nick names, but really did not care if we remembered them.

In the 80's, we wanted to know we loved them

In the 90's we were too scared of aids and other issues to even have sex with them till we got a medical report from them.

In the first of the 2000's it was turning to a feel good society again.

Sex of course causes kids, no formof birth control is 100 percent.

[Gemini54]

I don't know that there is a definitive answer to your question!

Because it depends, you see, on what your objective is.

Are you looking for a quick bonk, or are you looking for a relationship? Are you looking to have a fling, or are you testing the waters for something deeper?

I would suggest that there are no hard and fast rules. Some people jump into sex immediately, others take their time. It just depends on the people involved and what they want both from life and from each other.

If your style is to be more cautious, and you're curious to know the person before having sex with them, then play it by ear. It's not a matter of how many days, weeks or months is 'right'. My experience is that it's pretty clear when it's time to have sex. You just feel it!

[Ithappenstoall]

What about partners, how many would say is two much to have as a 22 year old girl ? 5 6 7 10?

[Ithappenstoall]

I am trying to evaluate everything and I am looking at her past and how everything happened. This is why this question on my previous post can seem weird

[Synnen]

The number of partners a person has had is NONE of your business.

If she's not a virgin, and has no diseases---who cares?

Getting the number is nothing but inviting a headache. If you obsess about a number, then YOU are not mature enough for any form of relationship.

It doesn't matter if she blew the entire US Navy--as long as she's free of diseases.

[Ithappenstoall]

But you don't want the mother of your child do be someone who lot of people have "known", I was trying to look at it that way

[Ithappenstoall]

But I understand what you mean and how it shouldn't matter. Stuff happens in the past( we all make mistakes or thought differently at the time or about the other person)

[thisisit]

Before 18 is too early. 22 is a woman, not a girl

[Synnen]

Um... were you a virgin going to her?

No?

Then you're a hypocrite.

The mother of your children is a WOMAN, first and foremost. Secondly--what's in her past is in her past. You can't change it. If you judge her for it, you're going to be spending your entire life either alone or unhappy and resentful.

You don't get to have sluts to have sex with when you're young and virgins to be the mother of your child. It doesn't work that way.

I suggest you get counseling to bring you into the 21st century about sexuality.

[Ithappenstoall]

You're right, I see what you are saying and I need to stop being immature and insecure about this. Thanks

[Ithappenstoall]

I appreciate the hurtful but truthful words you guys me. It made me realize how idiotic and IMMATURE I was being. I thank you all again

[Gemini54]

what about partners, how many would say is two much to have as a 22 year old girl ? 5 6 7 10 ??

It's not up to you to judge what 'too many' is. You either accept the person and who they are or you don't.

As for the mother of your child being - sexually inexperienced - what is it that you want? The Virgin Mary?

You need to accept that young women now-days wish to explore their sexuality, just as many men have always done.

Is a guy any less acceptable as a father because he's had previous partners?

[Cat1864]

Any time you start examining a relationship to decide if it is worth it, you have to be careful that you don't start manufacturing problems to suit what you might subconsciously want the outcome to be.

If this is about your current relationship and your concerns about it lasting and working out, then you need to remember why you got involved with her in the first place. Did you have any problems with her past the first time you got together? If you did then why did you stay in a relationship with her? If you didn't, then why is it a factor now?

[Ithappenstoall]

You are right Cat1864, I am having problems and I never thought about this before. I don't know why I am thinking like this, throughout the year and half I was with her it has all been good, now that we are trying to resolve so different faith issues and our relationship could end I start thinking of idiotic things that normally I never thought off

[neverme]

The mother of your child is not a number of people they have slept with... She is a woman, with a past, present and future.

If you want to be a part of that future you need to accept her, ALL OF HER. Just as she has to accept you. Good and Bad.

Basically it's all or nothing.

[JudyKayTee]

but you dont want the mother of your child do be someone who lot of people have "known", I was trying to look at it that way

Maybe YOU care about how many people your partner has "known." What I did before I met him and what he did before he met me is our own business. I would never ask and I would never answer.

You sound judgmental. If you find out a number do you plan to throw it into her face every time you argue? That's what it sounds like.

Go out and find a virgin. You'll be happier. I trust you're a virgin, too, right?

[JudyKayTee]

before 18 is too early. 22 is a woman, not a girl

And this is based on what? I know plenty of very immature 22 year old people who shouldn't be having sex, let alone crossing a street by themselves.

There are no hard and fast rules - as long as both parties are of legal age and it's consentual.

It varies person to person.