[amicon]

Are there other indications that she wants to break up and could she be using the different religions as an excuse?

[Ithappenstoall]

I do not believe so. Granted the long distance is there but that was never an issue. We both knew what was ahead of us and what time we were going to be apart. I think now that she is looking at the future, she doesn't see it happening if one side doesn't sacrifice for the other (me doing the sacrifice, in addition I think her family has messed with her head saying that it would be wrong to marry him if he is not muslim and ll)

And all this did is put some tensions far away from each other, while putting me under pressure and trying to figure out if it is something I can do or not.
When we were talking she told me, This is all her fault that it came to this, I should have thought before and never have loved a non-muslim. I want you to forgive me for putting you through this, because I didn't know it would be this hard for you.
I told her its hard because I can't and don't want to give on the best things that has happened to me. She keeps saying that she wants this but cant, that s all I hear

[amicon]

And would you be truly happy with converting?

[Ithappenstoall]

That's what I need to find out by reading everything and making a decision on this matter. I think that she needs to be supportive of me and not do this this way, by putting pressure

[amicon]

Well,in a strong equal relationship supporting each other should come naturally.

You shouldn't feel forced into making any decisions.
You have rights too,you know.

[Ithappenstoall]

So what should I do?

[amicon]

I think you need to have a serious discussion with her-is she committed to a future together or is she opting out?

[Ithappenstoall]

We have had serious discussion, she says she doesn't know how it can work, how she ll be able to marry me and have kids with me. I keep telling to wait a little but she says she needs to know now. I think she is just being scared and lonely and doesn't have anyone she can talk to.

[amicon]

Then you should make a decision,and stick to it.
You've got another 18 months or so away?and how much longer do you want to live with the confusion and the uncertainties?

[Ithappenstoall]

Exactly which is why I told her let us stay strong and try and resolve things together. If we cannot find a solution, then we loved each other and will always remember it but it wasn't meant to be

[amicon]

I really hope it works out for you-and I wish you all the best-stay strong and focused.

[Ithappenstoall]

What do you think of the way I am trying to handle things? I keep worrying about what would happen if we cannot find a solution how she will be with someone else and what they will be doing and it just drives me even crazier... or that she will be with someone quickly in order to get over me in her heart, the thoughts will probably stay... thats so bad

[amicon]

That's what I mean by the two of you having to reach some agreement on where this is going.
You seem to be in limbo not knowing whether you're coming or going.

[Ithappenstoall]

Yes. We spoke and she said she is still with me and she will stand and support me as I will her and figure if we can't work it out. I think once we decide we will know for sure. All couples have that one moment when things become extremely serious or make it or break it, and this is it. Right

[amicon]

Right! You know real love gets through all the obstacles. Good night from England. :-)

[Ithappenstoall]

The fears of losing someone are settling in, I am starting to question everything about me in front of her, do I stand up to her or is she better than me, I guess paranoia is setting.
Need a confidence boost


And want to see her, this is even worst because of long distance

[amicon]

Then take a few days leave and go see her-never mind what your relatives?/employers say.

[Ithappenstoall]

REally can't otherwise I woulve. I have to wait until end of march
I told her that we would reach a final decision than, but still can't help but feel she already started the process of being apart. When I told her this, she was like yes great I will wait if it works out, and you accept the only thing that I want (religion) than I will be yours forever, but I still feel this time will not help and the decision will still be the same.
I agree with her maybe it won't change and we won't be able to reach an understanding, but At least let us be optimistic or hopeful , and not go our separte ways just yet
Is this clear when I tell her or no ?

[amicon]

I guess so-in the meantime,work on staying strong and optimistic.

[Ithappenstoall]

Yes I need to. Why am I starting to look at every small detail now of our relationship, for instance right now I was thinking, hmm I wonder how many times she spent the night during the first weeks after I started seeing her, completely absurd stuff