[pittsberger2007]

Going to court for a pre trial coference for custody of 2 children. Currently going through divorce. How do I prepare I want joint custody my husband wants full custody

[JudyKayTee]

What are his grounds for requesting full custody? You have to argue against his arguments for custody AND show that you can support the children in all necessary ways.

Do you have an Attorney?

[pittsberger2007]

He says he wants to bond with the children. I just want joint custody. I work full time for cmmc hospital and have been for 1 yr 1/2. He works part time at walmart for almost 2yrs.
I have moved into my own place and he currently resides in our home with the children. We separated Nov. 1st 2009. I take the children on weekends and my day off. My daughter 7yrs old wants to live with me and my son 8yrs old wants to live with his dad. I just want to share joint physical custody; without separating my children.

[JudyKayTee]

Is there a current Court Order that allows him custodial (live with) custody of your children? If I am correct you moved out and left (I know that's a bad word) the children with him?

Joint physical custody is a difficult thing to accomplish (when the children "live" here and then "live" there) due to school, after school activities, their friends.

Do you have an Attorney?

Did you leave because you felt he was dangerous or unstable? I'm not asking out of being nosey - it just very well may become a factor in all of this. Obviously if you left for reasons of safety but the children remained with him it's an argument for his side.

Where the children would prefer to live is immaterial at their ages. The Court may (and hopefully will) appoint a law guardian for them, someone who will look at the situation, interview everyone (including the children) and make recommendations in their best interest.

[pittsberger2007]

No I do not have an attorney. We agreed that neither party wants child support and that our divorce will be no fault we have already divided up what property we want. The only disagreement is on the custody. I have tried to dicuss an itinerary for sharing joint custody and he insists on trying to get full custody

[JudyKayTee]

That's why you need an Attorney - custody is often a difficult argument.

I believe my advice (above) is still good under this circumstance and it may come down to why you left - and the children remained behind.

That sounds accusatory and I honestly don't mean it that way - it just may become important. I realize sometimes you have to get yourself established and then take custody of your children.

[pittsberger2007]

Initially he left the home with my children and refused to let me know where he took them I eventually found out that he was living with his brother and mother with both of my children. Upon finding this out I had agreed to leave the home so my children would return to their normal routine because the idea of divorce is hard enough on them

[pittsberger2007]

I did not want to go the route of "snatching" them back to stay with me in the home I am trying to make this as least traumatizing to them as humanly possible.
So I agreed to get an apartment and leave I live 4 minutes away from my children

[pittsberger2007]

Are you still there

[ScottGem]

Please pay more attention to posting guidelines. There is a Read First sticky in the Children forum (where this was moved from) that directs questions of a legal nature to this forum.

First you need to understand there are two types of custody; legal and physical. You have joint legal custody and I doubt if that will change. But physical custody is a different matter. Its very difficult to have joint physical custody, unless the parents live so close to the children's school that where they stay wouldn't matter. In that case, you should be able to have a schedule of alternate weeks.

If he left, took the children and did not inform you where he was, then he was guilty of parental kidnapping. If you can provide proof of this, it will have impact on the court's decision on who to give primary custody to. On the flip side, your willingness to allow him to take charge of the children in the family home while you move out may balance that.

This is a tough one to call since you both have issues. And you really need an attorney to sort them out. One more point, if he gets an attorney, then you will absolutely need one to protect your interests.

My gut reaction is, unless you live close enough to alternate weeks, he will get primary physical custody, since you let him have it. You should, on the other hand be able to get generous visitation.

are you still there

This is not a chat room. You post your question and then wait for someone to answer. People volunteer their time here and don't always remain logged in.