[jcliff1978]

Me and my girlfriend at the time had a good relationship. It was a long distant relationship it was hard but we fell in love. She wanted me to move in her city where I have family, but it was not a good time for me to move. Later we started to have problems, later I admit I got a little jealous because I didn't know what she was doing and vice versa. We had been together for over a year. During that time her family was constantly trying to set her up with other guys. One evening we were on the phone and got into a big argument and she broke up with me. I felt bad because this was the woman that I wanted to marry. I was in love with her I she was in love with me. About 5months past we didn't talk at all. During that period I tried to contact her but she kept hanging up on me. I tried one more time and she changed her number. So after that 5 or 6 month period I decided to move to the city were she lived. I didn't go to her house because I didn't want to seem like a stalker. So I could do was wait. One day she finally called me on a private number just to see how I was doing. She said she missed me. I told her guess where Im at I live in your city now. We went out and it was good. She had told me that she was seeing somebody. It broke my heart. I could that she still loved me. This was a guy that her family liked. By the way she's 25 and Im 28 yrs old. She stopped talking to me again. Two months later she called on private number to tell me that she broke with her new boyfriend and that she said she got with him to keep her mind off me like a rebound because she was so hurt. She finally gave her number and we became friends she saw how muched I improved in a lot of areas. I started sendind flowers to her job and giving her gifts. But I can tell some times she wants to talk to me and some times she doesn't. I know she loves me still but I think her family keeps pressuring her on not being with me. Like now she doesn't talk to me as much. So I not going to call her until she calls me. I really improved on things that I need to improve on, and I know if she gave me another chance I would treat her like a Queen. And the odd thing is that she told me I know I would treat her like a queen if given another chance. When I look at her I know she still loves me. Its just hard now being in the same city playing the waiting game. I know in all my heart this is the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. So my question then is knowing the story I just wrote is there anything that I can do to get her back? She also told me that she wanted to be single for awhile. Is she trying to tell me something else?

[queendiva20]

Okay, now I have a question for everyone
What if you were in a relationship with someone, and you lost contact several times, and the female got tired and went out and had sex with another guy, and thought about and tried to come back to her boyfriend, how would you answer that question.Why would you have sex with others guy and try to come back to your boyfriend to get him back.Why!

[s_cianci]

As I'm sure others will tell you, being too needy or clingy is always a turn-off, regardless of how much you may claim to "love" each other. Be patient and willing to wait and put yourself first. DOn't build your life around her waiting for her to come around. Be a little aloof and not always available to her. By being a little mysterious, that'll make her want to chase you. Use it to your advantage.

[shygrneyzs]

I was wondering that too - WHY would you want a woman back who pursued another guy, had sex with him, dumped him, then comes BACK? Behavior like that is not something to build a relationship on.

You need to get out there and become friends with other women, perhaps date some, get to know that there are other women out there who you are compatible with and not act like the drama queen this woman you are talking about.

I would bet anything that in 6 months you will feel different. And in that time you are doing something positive for yourself - do not let that woman back in your life. She will just mess with your head again. Did you ever see the movie, "Of Human Bondage"? About a man who falls in love with a woman who uses him and other men and keeps coming back to him when she is on hard times. He finally develops enough spine to tell her NO.

Best of luck to you. You deserve better and hope you find it.

[talaniman]

Family cannot tell a 25 year old woman who to love, let alone date. Forget that excuse for her actions.

She also told me that she wanted to be single for awhile. Is she trying to tell me something else?

She is enjoying being single, and so should you. Build your life without her, and do not call or e-mail her, not even to see how she is doing. Do your own thing, and don't worry if she is coming back. If she does call, keep it short and sweet, and no whining, or begging. She dumped you and don't forget it. No CONTACT,

[chuff]

Me and my girlfriend at the time had a good relationship. It was a long distant relationship it was hard but we fell in love.

You fell in love. She’s keeps you at a distance.

She wanted me to move in her city where I have family, but it was not a good time for me to move. Later we started to have problems, later I admit I got alittle jealous because I didnt know what she was doing and vice versa.

Mostly Vice or Versa. She wasn’t to jealous of you since she can have you anytime she wants.

We had been together for over a year. During that time her family was constantly trying to set her up with other guys.

Why is that?

One evening we were on the phone and got into a big argument and she broke up with me. I felt bad because this was the woman that I wanted to marry. I was in love with her I she was in love with me.

You were in love with her.

About 5months past we didnt talk at all. During that period I tried to contact her but she kept hanging up on me.

It’s almost like she didn’t want to speak with you.

I tried one more time and she changed her number.

The police usually recommend that a woman does this when she gets a restraining order.

So after that 5 or 6 month period I decided to move to the city were she lived.

Like a stalker does!!

I didnt go to her house because I didnt want to seem like a stalker.

Oh I see you were thinking ahead of me. Yeah nothing here says stalker.

So I could do was wait. One day she finally called me on a private number just to see how I was doing. She said she missed me. I told her guess where Im at I live in your city now.

I’d bet that was followed by awkward silence.

We went out and it was good.

She felt she had too, since you followed her to her new city.

she had told me that she was seeing somebody.

Whether that’s true or not I’d tell you the same thing. You were stalking her.

It broke my heart. I could that she still loved me.

You loved her.

This was a guy that her family liked. By the way shes 25 and Im 28 yrs old. She stopped talking to me again.

Yep.

Two months later she called on private number to tell me that she broke with her new boyfriend and that she said she got with him to keep her mind off me like a rebound because she was so hurt.

So now she was going to use you for a rebound. Delightful.

She finally gave her number and we became friends she saw how muched I improved in alot of areas. I started sendind flowers to her job and giving her gifts.

Oh like a needy stalker would do.

But I can tell some times she wants to talk to me and some times she doesnt.

You scare her. Your too needy. You don’t give her space.

I know she loves me still but I think her family keeps pressuring her on not being with me.

You love her.

Like now she doesnt talk to me as much.

You scare her. Your needy. She feels like she can’t breathe around you. She probably even feels sorry for you but she doesn’t see you as date material.

So i not going to call her until she calls me.

This is a good move. Show her you don’t need her.

I really improved on things that I need to improve on, and I know if she gave me another chance I would treat her like a Queen.

You still need to improve, but I’m glad you’ve recognized that you need improvement. Wildcat put up an article on attraction the other day. Read that.

Try not treating her like a queen but instead like a person. By treating her like a queen you putting her so high up that she becomes somebody she’s not.

And the odd thing is that she told me I know I would treat her like a queen if given another chance.

Yeah she knows and that’s exactly what she doesn’t want. I know your won’t believe that but it’s true.

When i look at her I know she still loves me.

You love her.

Its just hard now being in the same city playing the waiting game. I know in all my heart this is the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with.

My guess is that you are so blinded by this “love” that you don’t even realize the woman she is. For that matter I’d be that she hasn’t even shown you all of her sides. She keeps you at a distance.

So my question then is knowing the story I just wrote is there anything that I can do to get her back? She also told me that she wanted to be single for awhile. Is she trying to tell me something else?

She sure is. She’s not interested. Look Cliff, you come off as a stalker. I mean calling someone for 6 months when they didn’t want to talk with you? Didn’t you get the clue? Or when she changed her number? You didn’t quite see it then? Then not to be done you moved to her new city? I’m sorry but it’s no wonder her family doesn’t trust you. You are way too needy. I mean really this is a bad case.

I think you need not to contact her and really figure out why you have put this one woman on such a pedestal that you can’t move forward with your own life.

[JoeCanada76]

My opinion. Family can cause lots of trouble and pressure on another. She would get lots of grief if she started seeing you again, but if it is true love. None of this will matter in the long run. If your family does not like you and it sounds like they do not. They will always be a thorn on your side but it is all in how you deal with it. It is also up to this lady to decide what she needs in her life and it is up to her to stand up to her family. This is hard to do. So speaking from personal experience always show concern, always show her how much you care for her. Always be there when she needs you and it might work out. Give it some time and patience. As far as her family goes they do not have any real say in the matter, she needs to learn how to stop pleasing them and trying to make her family happy. She needs to figure out what makes her truly happy and it is up to her to go for that. At the same time if you treat her as a queen, which I did with my girlfriend which is now my wife. There needs to be give and take. Not always give on one hand, not always take on the other because guaranteed there will be resentment and temper or fight flare ups. So ease up, chill out and be there as her friend and always let her know that you care about her.

Joe

[Geoffersonairplane]

One day she finally called me on a private number just to see how I was doing. She said she missed me. I told her guess where Im at I live in your city now

Why did she call you on a private number is she said she missed you?

You have to ask yourself this question..

Why did her parents take steps to try and set her up with other men?

I don't want to sound judgmental but it does seem like you created the exact opposite impression when you moved to her city after the break-up. Why did you do that? Were you hoping that you would bump into her? I'm not surprised if she would have felt a bit weird when you told her that. It is borderline stalking and may have been perceived this way. I'm sure you never meant to create that impression... Did you?

Whatever your motives, she is gone, she does not feel the same way, in fact, I'm sorry to say this but all of what you said you did was more likely to make her a bot worried and run a mile. I look at things logically and if I thought that she was trying to tell you something, I would say it here but the truth is, from what I see... This is a one way thing.

You have feelings for her, she does not have feelings for you.

Maybe I am wrong... but the facts are in black and white!

Try to Move On from her, maybe move away from her city, that would be a very positive step to getting over her and stop obsessing over something that just is not there anymore. I know it must be hard for you but it's been a long time since your breakup and you don't seem to have made any positive steps to Move On!

Here is some advice on how to begin this process:

1.) Maintain NO CONTACT -- NO LETTERS, E-MAILS, PHONE CALLS, TEXTS, NOTHING!

2.) Keep yourself busy, go to the gym, take up an old hobby, spend time with friends and relatives, whatever.. Try to avoid alcohol where possible (it won't help)

3.)Try not to dwell on the past too much, focus on what you can do for yourself to improve you, as a person.

4.) MOVE OUT FROM HER CITY (IF POSSIBLE)

Try to enjoy your freedom although you would rather have not been given it it.

Letting go is a hard thing to do yet this is one of the best things you can accomplish in your journey to recovery.

I wish you well in your journey.