[tragedy]

LOL.. You're right, vanheart. I feel like I was cheated for almost 2 years. How could I not see her true colors before that? Yet, I kind of, sort of worship her even after she dumped me in a very nasty way. And this is what I get in return? How wonderful! I don't know what she's trying to prove but certainly she no longer have the upper hand. Yes, she can throw it, take a pic of it and trying to tell me via myspace "Look, I don't care!". Well, I do feel the pinch but that's all. Not that I will cry over it like I used to. I'm just wondering how could someone be this bitter? After all, she has moved on and we are all adults. Can't we handle this in more civil way? My intention was just to help, that's all. Can't she get it? I hope I can hear some comments from a woman's perspective. Not because I want to analyze but I just want to understand why would someone want to do that?

[vanheart]

Seems like you have some expectations after the fact. And another kind gesture got squashed. Not sure why you are so concerned with her bitterness. I bet you already got a taste of that before & denied it.

Like you said you are now seeing her true colors. Use what you are learning to discover some things about yourself & use them later.

You should never worship someone. Especially when they abuse you.

[tragedy]

I don't even know why her bitterness kind of get me. I've never been treated like a crap in my entire life. Not before she came and ruined it. Worse, broadcasting it this time. But I'm not going to let her take away my dignity anymore. I'm glad that some of our mutul friends who knew what's going on between us stood by me. ROFL. Again, I find it crazy and childish for doing that. Looks like she looking for some revenge. Well, emotionally. Otherwise, she won't be posting it up. I'm sure she wants me to feel something. Hurt and depress perhaps? But I had worse in the past and I'm beginning to feel numb. It's good that she's behaving like this. It does help me to speed up the healing process.

[vanheart]

What you say is true.

My ex did some hurtful things too. Of course she wants to continue the pain, abusers do that until they find someone else to take their sh**t.

Once you get out of the habit, things will become clearer.

Try not to spend too much time on her childness, some people need to grow up. Others never will.

Glad you have some supporters. Use them.

You are doing the right thing by being in control.

You will look back at this as a nice life lesson and smirk.

I'll let the ladies pipe in now if that's what you're after...

[UnluckyDucky]

It doesn't take someone with two X chromosomes to see that your ex is immature and possibly mentally unstable. She physically assaulted and abused you - that's all I need to know! I can find a billion other different things I'd rather be doing than trying to understand the motives of someone who does not think or act rationally or mature. Accept her actions for what they are and try not to care her reasons - because in reality it doesn't matter!

I'm glad to hear that it is speeding up your healing process though - you're finally beginning to see what she's truly all about.

[amicon]

She only has/had the power over you that you are/were willing to hand over to her. Once you have completely understood that nothing she has said.says or ever will say,matters in your life,you'll have no reason to ever bother thinking about her again.

[vanheart]

Not to mention the slapping & choking.

If someone else treated you like this, what would you do?

Go back & listen to what Ducky said. I already copied that one for myself.

Sounds like it time to do some work on yourself.

[tragedy]

You're right. Guess it's time to work on myself. And nope, I'm not going to let her make me feel inferior anymore. I should have listened to you guys not to buy the facial stuff. Again and again, she's trying to take away my dignity. I'm not going to let her rip it off that easily anymore. Not this time or next.

It's really a good lesson. I would never expect the sweetest girl I've met would hate me to this extend. Ahh well, I guess it is best to leave it as it is now. Still in my mind, I was doing it out of courtesy without no intention of getting back at all. Never mind. If she doesn't appreciate it, then let it be. Well, she threw away all the toys I gave her during our dating days together with the facial stuff. I must say it was a 'Nice Pic!'. ROFL. Seriously, I don't hate her for what she puts me through. It makes me a stronger man. I'll never ever repeat the same mistake again. Do I still love her? Maybe yes, maybe no. I just can't explain my feelings right now. It's kind of numb. I'm a human, though she doesn't treat me like one. Do I still want her back? Definitely not. We're just not meant to be.

[tragedy]

I've noticed that the more I want to know the hatred she carries in her heart, the more uneasy my heart is. It's not pain. Just uneasy. Maybe because I didn't expect my ex would turn out to be so cruel and mean when all the time she was sweet when we were friends and during our dating days. Could this be the reason why?

[vanheart]

No one expects it.

Once again, stop looking for reasons.

Accept it and work on yourself.

Don't worry about her feelings anymore.

[tragedy]

I agree that I have to work on myself... A lot. I threw away one of her gifts, which I will never do in the past because I will keep every single thing she gaves me including notes in a safe place. Although I could feel the pinch, but I know I just got to do it. Otherwise, I will not be able to let go completely. I'm not sure what I want to do with the rest of the gifts because I think I could feel the pain when I see it. Not much, just little. So, I will choose not to look at it now. I must learn to live in the present moment. Yes, she no longer loves me and hates me very much but I've learned that I do not have control over this. I wish I could just turn back the clock and undo all these pains. I'd rather remain friends with her instead of dating her. It was my mistake. I should never date a friend.

[amicon]

The really good thing about relationships is that they teach us a lot about ourselves!
You know, you should bin the lot-gifts,notes-everything.
You'll feel much better for it.

[tragedy]

I really wish I could have an answer for this. Please guys, fill me in... My ex moved one block away from my place! Yes, it's a nightmare! How am I supposed to go through the full recovery road when she is so freaking near? I tried to ignore her many many times and kept reminding myself what she had done to me, the physical injuries she caused me in the past with deep bruises and cuts. I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable and I find her voice pretty much annoying. I don't know if I still love her but it definitely stings when I see her or hear her voice. I do not want to go back to where I was back then, full of panic attacks and insecurity. I want to let go completely. I want her out of my life. I don't think running into her everyday will help in my recovery. Guys, please tell me what should I do?

[amicon]

Ignore her.
You have a right to your home and to feel safe and comfortable where you are.
You are in charge of your life,your comings and goings-nobody else is.
Be the strong man that you know you are.

[vanheart]

Boy, this is a good test right here. Weird, yes & probably not without some sick motive.

What do you want?

For me, if that happened, well, I for sure wouldn't move or stay in.
Go amongst your business. The less you worry about her, the better.

Resist all temptations to go backwards or let her proximity suck you in.

If you see her, say hi, then split. Or ignore her (even better)

Remember that she is a user & abuser looking to victimize.

Screw it. Start not giving a crap about what she does.

[tragedy]

Amicon & Vanheart, I'm really scared that I will start to care about what's going on in her life, which I really do not want to. I really really really do not want to. I hate to be in the panic mode like I used to. When we were dating, she tried not to go online even if I asked her to. But ever since we split, she will either hang on to her messengers or other networking sites. Not to be missed, her new found boyfriend and party. I feel so uncomfortable now. I'm afraid those feelings will rush in again. :(

[vanheart]

Doesn't seem like you really, really, really, really want to.

Don't be a wuss.

Scared? Geez. Vampires too?

[tragedy]

I can't say that I have completely healed. And with her moving a block away makes it even harder for me to complete the journey. It's beginning to tear me apart. I guess the only way for me to get over is to move away. I could feel the pressure... :(

[vanheart]

This is the test you were waiting for (& dreading)

We all take 'em.

Up to you to pass.

[vanheart]

Move away? Then she wins & is in control.

You post, but don't listen. Start.

Get over her? She screwed you & abused you. What more do you need?