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    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
    Ultra Member
     
    #81

    Dec 13, 2009, 08:48 PM
    I think that what you're talking about is retaining your independence and trying not to be jealous of other women that he might meet, particularly in his former workplace.

    Of course it’s possible not to worry about something like this, and to retain your independence.

    But, the only place that you can do this, is in your head. You say he’s a ‘good guy’, well act as if he his. Believe it! The more that you believe it the less you will be concerned about his activities. He isn’t Tiger Woods is he?

    So, tell yourself that he’s with you. Continue to enjoy and lead your life. Continue to enjoy and have a relationship with him.

    Don’t let your thoughts and doubts and projections of doom trip you over. If he’s a good guy – treat him like one and believe that he is one.

    Remember, your thoughts are very good at manifesting what you want. If you want him to be unfaithful then he may well turn out to be. However, if you want him to be loyal and trustworthy, then that is what you’ll create.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #82

    Dec 13, 2009, 09:24 PM
    Your threads were merged so the whole story is in one place so the full background can be seen for better input.

    It starts with you dealing with your own issues of insecurity.
    flowerybeauty's Avatar
    flowerybeauty Posts: 24, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #83

    Jan 11, 2010, 07:50 PM
    Going on Vacation
    Story merged yet again. Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story and give you appropriate advice.

    How does everybody feel if there significant other goes on vacation with his single friends? I don't feel too comfortable with it and I just want to see how everyone feels about it.
    I know my boyfriend won't cheat but I have a weird knot in my stomach.

    Honest opinions please
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #84

    Jan 11, 2010, 07:58 PM
    Your insecurities have been going on for a while now. What have you done to boost your self-esteem since the last time you posted?

    If you're not scared that he will cheat, then what's the problem?
    flowerybeauty's Avatar
    flowerybeauty Posts: 24, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #85

    Jan 11, 2010, 08:02 PM

    I'm not too sure, I just wanted to hear how other people feel about it
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
    Ultra Member
     
    #86

    Jan 11, 2010, 08:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by flowerybeauty View Post
    Story merged yet again. Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story and give you appropriate advice.

    How does everybody feel if there significant other goes on vacation with his single friends? I dont feel too comfortable with it and I just want to see how everyone feels about it.
    I know my bf wont cheat but i hav a weird knot in my stomach.

    Honest opinions please
    If you know your BF won't cheat then why worry?

    The weird knot in your stomach is your insecurity and lack of confidence. I agree with I Wish - you must do something to stop this discomfort you bring on yourself.

    I would have no problems with my husband going on holidays with single friends - mind you, it depends how long the holiday was!

    But, perhaps you need to ask yourself why he wants to go on holidays with them instead of you? That's the real question.

    I still think you need to go to counselling. You need help.

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