[cardita]

My boyfriend doesn't always satisfy me. We have been dating for over 5 years . I bought a sex toy over a year ago but he refuses to use it on me. He says they don't turn him on. I feel if he loves me like he says he does and wants to marry me he should want to satisy me sexually. I have assured him it is not his size... its just that he is 49 and overweight and smokes and is a daily beer drinker, and that probably things are changing. I thought that by me buying a toy and offering it to him to use in case I am not satisfied that he would jump on it but he is just the opposite. I would say he is insecure. What advice do you have.

[jaime90]

You can't expect a man who doesn't feel good about himself, to satisfy you. If he is insecure about his performance, assure him, encourage him, and if he performs well, return the favor! Don't expect him to do all the work. Just like you would probably be hesitant to hit the mark in bed if you thought that you were unattractive, make sure that your man feels like he's THE man. Try new things to rekindle a spark. Sexual/physical attraction is a very important part of a relationship. If you are not physically attracted to your man, there is something wrong.

[Fr_Chuck]

Well first most "just sex" does not satisfy the women, there should be a long foreplay before the "sex' even starts

So you use the toy when he is there as part of it, or explain if you don't get satisfied, he is not getting satisfied

[LJDK]

I would be insecure to when my girl tells me hey dude you suck in bed use this toy. I won't really want to continue or feel the need to try.

Like said above, instead of breaking him, try to encourage instead. Make him feel good about himself and then he should perform better.