[hbh]

I was wonder is it OK to live together before marriage?
My boyfriend and I just moved in together this past weekend.
Seems like the best decition for us, but some of my family don't like it.
Im just wonder what are your thoughts on this?

[redhed35]

For some it's a question of belief or religion,for me, if your both happy with the situation then go for it.

There are many schools of thought on this,but as I said,if you're an adult and your both happy,your family hopefully will accept the situation when they see your serious and mature about your decision.

[Romefalls19]

My fiancé and I live together, have for over a year. It's an adjustment at first, but depending upon religious beliefs, I don't see the issue

[amicon]

How old are you both?
I'd say most people would say its OK these days.

[Justwantfair]

I think that before you live together before marriage, you should have lived on your own.

For some it is religion, for me it's life experience, but to each their own.

There is a lot to be learned about a relationship's ability to be successful or fail that can be determined by living together. I really think that if you family is not supportive, they are extremely religious or don't believe that you are old/experienced enough for a living together situation.

[hbh]

Well we are both 20 years old, about to be 21 in the next few month.
It not my mom or dad that care about us living together first. Its more ilke my aunt and uncles and his mother. I just don't want people to think bad of us or were doing something wrong.
I see us together and getting married soon as we have enough money.
I just really was ready to live on my own and had many reason for that.
We have been together a year and have a great relationship.
But what's the best way to go about this, just be successful and show them we can make it!

[mudweiser]

Well we are both 20 years old, about to be 21 in the next few month.
It not my mom or dad that care about us living together first. Its more ilke my aunt and uncles and his mother. I just dont want people to think bad of us or were doing something wrong.
I see us together and geting married soon as we have enough money.
I just really was ready to live on my own and had many reason for that.
We have been together a year and have a great relationship.
But whats the best way to go about this, just be sucessful and show them we can make it!

Slow your roll.

I know I seem like that person that say "Your too young to get married. You can't even wipe yourself..."- at least that's what my Pop Pop said to me and I was like "oh you ___" and then it turns out that being young and pushing on marriage is truly a bad thing.

I'm not saying break up or move the F out asap. You guys moved in. Great. See how that goes. Take it slow please. Keep practicing safe sex-- for some reason some couples feel like having children once they moved in.

Keep going to school, if you are, working, and doing your own thing too.

I don't think it's a bad idea-- life is about learning and experiences.

My suggestion is to save up that money and not rush to the alter... now that would be a bad idea.

[amicon]

Be considerate and caring of each other and communicate with honesty and respect. Spend time together,but also time apart doing your own things.

I wouldn't worry about your uncle etc-they're entitled to their opinion,surely,but that shouldn't stop you from being happy together.
As for his mother,it would probably be best to let your boyfriend sort that out.

[spitvenom]

I think if a couple is thinking about getting married they SHOULD live together first. It is a crazy thing living with someone you know but have never lived with. Getting to know all the weird little things the other person does that you never knew. Getting to know all the things you do that irritates them because they never knew. For example I went 27 years not knowing there is a WRONG way to put toilet paper on the toilet paper holder.

Plus if you find out that living with this person is a nightmare you break up and not go through a divorce.

[Romefalls19]

I think if a couple is thinking about getting married they SHOULD live together first. It is a crazy thing living with someone you know but have never lived with. Getting to know all the weird little things the other person does that you never knew. Getting to know all the things you do that irritates them because they never knew. For example I went 27 years not knowing there is a WRONG way to put toilet paper on the toilet paper holder.

Plus if you find out that living with this person is a nightmare you break up and not go through a divorce.

I learned that! I also learned that there are about 5 different combs for each morning. Also that I can't just put towels in the wash with clothes, they have to go in separately.

[mudweiser]

I learned that! I also learned that there are about 5 different combs for each morning. Also that I can't just put towels in the wash with clothes, they have to go in separately.

... they do?:confused:

Crap. I guess I never got the memo.

[I wish]

As long as you have a strong and open communication with your boyfriend, then you can continue to build your relationship.

Don't let other people dictate the decisions that you want to make. Only you know what's best for you. Take responsibility for your own actions and don't let others around you bring you down.

[Romefalls19]

...they do?:confused:

Crap. I guess I never got the memo.

Also, shoving as many clothes in as possible and shutting the door real fast is NOT the way to do laundry either.

[spitvenom]

Rome I learned that too. I would just throw everything together except underwear and socks. When my then fiancée saw that she was not to happy.

[Justwantfair]

I still believe that you should live and make it on your own, before living with another individual. It feeds into strength, self-esteem and the appreciation of having someone to share your home with.

[hbh]

Well for the laudry part, I always do the laudry and always have! I love to wash clothes and everything clean, haha.
But we have a very strong relationship and talk openly. We get along great! He's very very sweet too!
I don't think this is a bad thing, I think he will do better in school having a quiet home to come to and I am a hairstylist and have my own salon already!
I just hate listening to family say bad things about us, Maybe it'll all go away after we live together a few months and everyone sees that we are fine living together!
Thank you so much for your advise! I will just have to see how it goes!

[Cat1864]

If you aren't already, stop trying to get pregnant. If you think some family members are against you living together just think about what they would say if you actually had a child first.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...eg-430000.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ml#post2143532

I am not adverse to living together before marriage, but I do agree with Justwantfair and mudweiser. I think you both should slow down.

If you want to make the living arrangements work, sit down and discuss who is doing what chores with the understanding that there will times that you will need to do each other's. You may like cleaning, but there will come a time when you start feeling like you are picking up after a child if he doesn't do some things to help or he may feel like a guest instead of a partner. It is also a good habit to be into BEFORE children come into the picture.

[redhed35]

Had to spread the rep cat... your like nancy drew!

[CRJackson9109]

You are grow and perfectly able to make your own decisions. Me ans mw wife have been married for almost a year now. But we lived together for 2 years before we made that step. I am22 and she is 21. Living together first was the best thing we could have done before making a lifetime commitment. You learn everything important that you need to know by living with someone first. Such as all the little things that will bug the piss out of you. Then you can decide if that really is someone you could spend the rest of your life with! Good luck and I wish you much happiness