The reason the dentist wants to remove the tooth is due to infection. If the baby tooth isn't removed the infection will affect the adult tooth that is developing and it could erupt looking damaged.
The advice Nikosmom gave you is right on the money!!
You say you take your son to the dentist 4 times a year, I hope this is for a varnish fluoride treatment. Between visits you really need to take a serious look at everything your son puts in his mouth. Read the labels on everything he eats and drinks. Be sure sugars are not in the top 5 ingredients.
The decay on his front teeth sounds like baby bottle caries. Does your son drink from sippy cups? Is he drinking juices, milk or God forbid pop between meals instead of water? Let your son drink from a straw, this prevents the sugars from washing against his front teeth and gets swallowed before giving them a sugar bath.
You say his teeth are "crammed in" which means YOU have to floss his teeth EVERYDAY. You also have to brush his teeth for him at bedtime. Boys need parental help with oral care until they are 10-12 yrs old. Make sure you are using an ADA/CDA approved fluoridated toothpaste and don't let him swallow it. Now is the time to nip this in the bud, you have a second (and last) chance with his adult teeth.
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