[Help JMW]

About 8 months ago, I broke up with my girlfriend for an issue that I found very complicated. The issue was that her best friend liked me. I had liked her best friend quite a while back, and everybody knew about it, but when I moved on to her friend, who became my ex-girlfriend, whom I am typing this about, she got extremely ticked off. She tried multiple things, she tried to make me freak out on her, so my girlfriend would think I had anger issues, she tried to make my girlfriend feel guilty, she tried to make me feel guilty, she even tried to make a move on me, which I will proudly say, I denied. But the final straw was when it was starting to threaten her's and my ex's friendship. I had known for quite a while that this was bound to happen, so I'd planned on asking my girlfriend if she would allow me to tell her friend to back off, so by the point I had asked, she was annoyed with her best friend enough to say yes, that I could. So I ended up talking to her and very rudely told her to stop trying to ruin my girlfriend's life and to stay away from her. This, my girlfriend did not like so much. So she yelled at me to go apoplogize, I am quite stubborn, and like to stand my ground on these kinds of things, so I bluntly refused, as she had told me that she was fine with me doing it. So I kept my word on not apologizing, but it all got worse, my girlfriend and I began to argue because of what had happened, and eventually, her friend got worse too, and they started to cease their friendship. So I did the only thing I could think of, I did what I thought would make her happiest, and ended the relationship so her friendship would continue. What I learned afterward was that if I had explained the situation to her and why I had done what I had done shortly after I broke up with her, she would've understood and would have ended her friendship to get back together with me. Lately, I can't get her off my mind, and now that I know I have matured, much more, and am ready to take on a serious relationship, I want to get back together with her, the problem is, I don't know how! :( Any suggestions? Please help! :(

[rosemcs]

I did the only thing I could think of, I did what I thought would make her happiest, and ended the relationship so her friendship would continue. What I learned afterward was that if I had explained the situation to her and why I had done what I had done shortly after I broke up with her, she would've understood and would have ended her friendship to get back together with me. Lately, I can't get her off my mind, and now that I know I have matured, much more, and am ready to take on a serious relationship, :(

Can you tell her all that you typed here? It would sound really nice to a girl. Can you give it a try if you still think that you have a chance? You seem like a good guy. Then, you can get an answer from her and move on with your life.

[jaime90]

A man that breaks up you once, can break up with you again. There's a good chance that she will be very hesitant to get back together with you. By breaking up with her, you have lost a lot of trust, and a relationship will be extremely difficult to begin and continue. It will take extra work on both your part, and her part. Why don't you sit down with her and talk about what happened. Don't blame her or put her on the defense. Be honest, open and communicate! Those are important parts of a healthy relationship, practice them now. Sit down with her and ask if she'd like to give it another try. Forgive her, and ask her to forgive you. If you do begin a relationship again, you could try reading books together about making a relationship work, go to couple's counseling, or talk with a married couple (like a pastor and pastor's wife) about healthy relationships. Believe me, all that work is worth it in the long run- and could be essential if your relationship is going to survive and thrive.