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flower81 · Nov 30, 2006, 07:20 AM

Im broke, don't have the finances to join a gym!

About getting stoned its far from an everyday thing

ballybee · Nov 30, 2006, 07:24 AM

Get a part time job... get busy, the poor dude comes late at night after fixing machines and stuff.. u watching TV, taking bubbly bath and getting stoned (even if it is at time)don't u feel a bit guilty? About the gym, it was an idea.. there are open parks everywhere on the earth.. they don't cost money to get into.. am sure you can be more inventive on what you like to do and come up with some ideas... if it can be constructive to yourself, your relationship and your home (morally and financially), that'd be great.

rol · Nov 30, 2006, 07:25 AM

<<Quote:
Originally Posted by rol

And what did you reply when he asked "have u left me yet? in a sweet voice"

No, not yet anyway love
Is that bad?? >>

Cool , good reply.

Keep up the jokes with him, especially tonight as he is probably afraid of what he is coming home to!! Get the pizza and laugh and do not bring up any dreams or rubbish!!
:)

J_9 · Nov 30, 2006, 07:27 AM

Maybe if you stopped buying the weed you would have money to go to a gym.

Getting stoned only adds to the paranoia, as someone else pointed out.

Look, if my husband stopped looking at beautiful women I would be planning his funeral. It is the healthy individual that looks at beautiful people. The human body is a work of art.

Okay, he fancied her, you have not seen her in how long? He has not seen her in how long? Did he act on his desires? Who does he come home to, you or her?

You are borrowing trouble and creating a breakup by continuing to dwell on this subject. Marijuana will compound this problem greatly.

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 30, 2006, 07:31 AM

Originally Posted by flower81

Im broke, dont have the finances to join a gym!

About getting stoned its far from an everyday thing

There are other positive things you can do that don't involve money!

Drugs are not positive and they cloud your mind and distort reality!

Even too much alcohol can ruin a person's perception of life.

I appreciate what you say about being broke.. Are you able to get a job, part-time.I know you say you study, and that is good, study hard. It will pay off one day.

Try to think more about what I am saying about doing more positive activities... It's up to you.. If you are young then you will most likely need to get lots of different things out of your system..

All part of growing up, but you have to ask yourself, are you really ready to be in a serious relationship?

flower81 · Nov 30, 2006, 07:37 AM

Originally Posted by ballybee

Get a part time job.... get busy, the poor dude comes late at night after fixing machines and stuff.. u watching tv, taking bubbly bath and getting stoned (even if it is at time)don't u feel a bit guilty? About the gym, it was an idea.. there are open parks everywhere on the earth.. they don't cost money to get into.. am sure you can be more inventive on what you like to do and come up with some ideas.... if it can be constructive to yourself, your relationship and your home (morally and financially), that'd be great.

Well I work too and when need be I do overtime too.

So no I don't feel so guilty for having a bubbly bath when I come home after a long days work. Besides that I cook dinner and do the house chores!

flower81 · Nov 30, 2006, 07:38 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Maybe if you stopped buying the weed you would have money to go to a gym.

Getting stoned only adds to the paranoia, as someone else pointed out.

Look, if my husband stopped looking at beautiful women I would be planning his funeral. It is the healthy individual that looks at beautiful people. The human body is a work of art.

Okay, he fancied her, you have not seen her in how long? He has not seen her in how long? Did he act on his desires? Who does he come home to, you or her?

You are borrowing trouble and creating a breakup by continuing to dwell on this subject. Marijuana will compound this problem greatly.

I know you are right. I look at goodlookin men too but I don't fany them :cool:

We haven't seen her in ages and I know I shouldn't worry.

I don't buy weed, every once in a while my friend rolls me the occasional joint!

flower81 · Nov 30, 2006, 07:39 AM

Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

All part of growing up, but you have to ask yourself, are you really ready to be in a serious relationship?

Yes I am happy with him, I love him, Couldn't c my life without him

J_9 · Nov 30, 2006, 07:44 AM

Okay, you haven't seen her in ages. And so the problem lies where? If he saw her on a daily basis, that might be a little different. But he doesn't.

You can't live in the past. You are lucky you have a man that will be upfront and honest with you. The way you are acting right now is going to turn him off being honest. He will stop telling you the truth because he now knows you are going to overreact.

Are you ready to be in a serious relationship? Because a serious relationship requires trust and honesty. He was honest with is feelings and trusted that he could tell you the truth. Now you doubt him. Not a good thing.

If you want to be serious with someone you need to work out your trust issues first. I am beginning to think you have been cheated on in the past?

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 30, 2006, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by flower81

Yes i am happy with him, i love him,. couldnt c my life without him

O.K. Good.

So if you are happy with him and love him, then quit this worry you have about him fancying someone else..

Otherwise you will be seeing your life without him.

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 30, 2006, 07:46 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Are you ready to be in a serious relationship? Because a serious relationship requires trust and honesty. He was honest with is feelings and trusted that he could tell you the truth. Now you doubt him. Not a good thing.

Totally agree with this J_9 about trust and honesty..

Good for pointing this out..

flower81 · Nov 30, 2006, 07:50 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Okay, you haven't seen her in ages. And so the problem lies where? If he saw her on a daily basis, that might be a little different. But he doesn't.

You can't live in the past. You are lucky you have a man that will be upfront and honest with you. The way you are acting right now is going to turn him off of being honest. He will stop telling you the truth because he now knows you are going to overreact.

Are you ready to be in a serious relationship? Because a serious relationship requires trust and honesty. He was honest with is feelings and trusted that he could tell you the truth. Now you doubt him. Not a good thing.

If you want to be serious with someone you need to work out your trust issues first. I am beginning to think you have been cheated on in the past?

I will forget about it, I have to, its as simple as that right?
Tonight I will not mention it at all, and do my utmost to be strong confident and talk about everything BUT this. How can I regain his trust to be honest with me?
I want an honest relationship I do, I hate lies.

No I have never been cheated on. But he was the only guy who should interest in me. My past boyfriends only wanted sex, which I never gave it to them, I was a virgin when I meet him.

Sentra · Nov 30, 2006, 07:50 AM

If you truly love him there would be trust to go along with that; there should have been no reason to keep bringing it up and his reaction shows that he felt very mistrusted. He told you no, and in my opinion it should have stayed that way. He even admittited to you that he 'faniced' her, better to find out from him than anyone else. He told you because he feels like he can tell you anything, now he may be a bit apprehensive about revealing more to you in the future.

What does this girl have that you don't? You have something she doesn't, and that's him. If you have any insecurities they should be yours, and nothing that he should have to deal with when things arouse them.

ballybee · Nov 30, 2006, 07:55 AM

Great, excellent...

Remember, I can only formulate an opinion based on the infos you provide... shape up, get busy, do some fun outdoors stuff with your fiancé and stay out of drugs or alcohol whatever it is.

As a point of advice.. go through the different posts in this forum.. and read the pain others are pouring in for having lost someone.. I guess that will remind you how lucky you are and hopefully act for the best

flower81 · Nov 30, 2006, 07:58 AM

Shall I tell him I trust him tonight?
Or its not wise.

Geoffersonairplane · Nov 30, 2006, 07:59 AM

Originally Posted by flower81

Shall i tell him i trust him tonight?
or its not wise.

No, you are just bringing up the issue again by saying this.

Let it go now, and just get busy being his fiancé..

Sentra · Nov 30, 2006, 08:01 AM

Clean the house, make him dinner, most likely: He wants to feel important, trusted, needed and most of all, loved. Don't bring it up, all has been said and done. He's still with you, you still love him and vice versa.

rol · Nov 30, 2006, 08:02 AM

You don't have to tell him you trust him, you have to SHOW this by not being jealous, not asking him what he was doing or not asking who was on the phone...

J_9 · Nov 30, 2006, 08:03 AM

Originally Posted by flower81

Shall i tell him i trust him tonight?
or its not wise.

NO, NO, and NO. You will just not let it go.

Forget it was ever said. That was 6 months ago for crying out loud!!

Just drop it, pretend it was never said and go on with your life. If you do that you will be going on with your life without him, and I would not blame him.

You can't change the past, only the future. Start now.

flower81 · Nov 30, 2006, 08:11 AM

You r right J_9
I apologised last night to him in bed for asking him again, so I guess that should do it right?