[Justwantfair]

Dear God, it's me, please help me stop crying tonight. I fear I am scaring my daughter who doesn't understand and is listening to me sob instead of sleep. Thank you.

[paxe]

Well I guess I have 30 minutes before I go to sleep so I could give it a shot.

Let's think this rationally, you both don't want the same thing, so you decided to end this now, before it got worst. Secondly, there IS light in the end of the tunnel. We've all been through this, and the pain is immense, it's overwhelming. But if you actually believe that the future will be much better then it will be.

You are a beautiful women that any man would be lucky to have. Don't worry about the future or your heart and clean your tears.

[amicon]

A new day,and I wish you a good one-remember to keep swimming. Hugs.

[Justwantfair]

Last night was very bad, I did make it to this morning. Breaking NC has such drastic effects and I do know better.

What still cuts me to the core is four months later this man still would rather believe I was unfaithful than to see the truth of the situation. We had been so close and he threw back up a wall that had taken years to get down.

Today is a new day, I restart the process.

[amicon]

For whatever reasons he did that-that's his issues-not yours. You did your best and gave it your all.

And it finally reaches that point where we have to start giving to ourselves again.

Of course it hurts,but we have to be who we are and love ourselves.

He is the loser and you'll get through this.

[88sunflower]

To a new day Justy.
You can do it. Head up, shoulders up, smile and be pretty like you are. Thoughts of a happy future.

[Justwantfair]

So in the slowest work day in history, I am anxious to get the heck out of here. The idleness of being here is making me stir crazy.

[amicon]

Babysteps-best foot forward. Make plans-something to look forward to when you get home-hugging the kids? Cooking a nice meal?
All these things that make our lives good and safe.

[Justwantfair]

What I look forward to tonight... a decent night's sleep, no contact and no tears tucking me into bed. :) I dream big.

[emopunk7]

Hey justwantfair... Is it 3 o clock there? And why did he think that you were unfaithful? I thought it was about him not wanting to marry. If you'd rather not talk about it, I understand. I wanted to talk about it the first month at least to be done with the analyzing. I'm not just advice, I can be someone to talk to.

[amicon]

If I don't talk to you before tomorrow-815 pm here -I wish you a just that-a good night's sleep and a better tomorrow.

[88sunflower]

Thinking of you Justy. Be strong.

[Justwantfair]

Hey justwantfair...Is it 3 o clock there? And why did he think that you were unfaithful? I thought it was about him not wanting to marry. If you'd rather not talk about it, I understand. I wanted to talk about it the first month atleast to be done with the analyzing. I'm not just advice, I can be someone to talk to.

If you read back just a few pages I think you will find the beginning of the end. While there were frustrations with the commitment issues, I think I was being patient, along time ago I had made a choice that although I found his marriage issues frustrating, he WAS 100% committed to our relationship and that was in fact a commitment.

The beginning of the end, involved some online flirting in which he perceived me being disrespectful and unfaithful and essentially using that as a catalyst to end the relationship, guilt free. He focused the demise on my responsibility and participation in such flirtation. Therefore, his hands are clean and I have no one to blame for the demise except myself. ::cough:: ::cough::

To me, he has spent the last four months careening this situation into the biggest catastrophe. I was wrong, I never did not admit that, but somehow it became easier for him to believe that underneath the person he has always known, who was faithful, honest and devoted... lurked this villain, connieving, devious and scheming just waiting for him to let his guard down and then WHAMO he would be left broken hearted. It's not a real rational thought process, so either he is scared out of his mind or it was an excuse, leaving him guiltfree.

[Justwantfair]

Last night was better. I still feel drained but I made it to bed without the overwhelming flood of emotions.

Today is another day, I am swimming now, I hope. :)

[amicon]

Good- I know you can do it. And stop and float when you need to-you won't sink.
<cyberhugs>

[talaniman]

so either he is scared out of his mind or it was an excuse, leaving him guilt free.

Or both. When the emotional dust settles, you will probably see a lot of things that you put up with, that maybe you should not have.

[Justwantfair]

Or both. When the emotional dust settles, you will probably see a lot of things that you put up with, that maybe you should not have.

Ahhh, no points for being tolerant, patient, or for how much I resemble a doormat?

[amicon]

For the tolerance and patience-yes. You're no longer a member of the doormat club,so points for that!

[88sunflower]

Happy thoughts. Your doing so well. Keep going forward. If you think your going to fall back we are here. I am here and you know you can find me on Facebook also. One day at a time is one day closer to being over him and the misery.

[talaniman]

Its no shame to be incompatible. That doesn't make either of you villains, but like any relationship that breaks down, its seldom right, or wrong, when people cannot work together to build a life.

You get many points for trying your best, doing what you thought was needed, and it didn't work. Is that a bad thing, not at all, even though it hurts now.

But we both know you have taken a valuable experience away from this, all in getting you ready for the next best option, and opportunities, That life will present to you.

If you didn't break up, to go through the pain, and experience, you couldn't appreciate things when they got better.

Where do you think my gratitude from my exes dumping me, come from??