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mariem123 · Jan 1, 2010, 11:06 AM

My son's father left his wife in August and moved in with me in October, we always loved each other. 9 weeks later though he has left me 5 days before xmas and says he just need time on his own. He said he couldn't be with me over xmas with his other 2 kids are sat crying at home wanting him there with them.
He still says he loves me and wants me but doesn't know what he wants. But at the minute he just wants to be on his own.
Please help me, I am so hurt and confused.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 1, 2010, 11:15 AM

OK, and what did you expect, he was in her bed one day, and moved into yours the next?

amicon · Jan 1, 2010, 11:46 AM

How old is your child? Your son must be your priority now-his father must be made to face up to his responsibilities and you need to take him to court over this .
He cheated on his wife with you and fathered your child and he has now left you -dont waste your time missing this emotional incompetent, get your priorities right and take care of your child.

HistorianChick · Jan 1, 2010, 12:04 PM

Unfortunately, I have no good news or advice for you. You and your man broke up his marriage for an affair, what do you expect from him, commitment?

You need to focus on your child. His/her little life is the only good thing that has come out of this.

Make him pay child support and don't expect him to commit anything to you. He cheated on and left his wife, he's just following suit.

Devorameira · Jan 1, 2010, 12:05 PM

I agree with amicon. You have to put your child first.

Don't wait around for him. He will only cause you heartache. The best predictor of his future behavior is past behavior, so he will most likely continue to cheat.

Get out there and find a real man that will be all yours and treat you like a queen.

mariem123 · Jan 2, 2010, 03:18 AM

Thank you for your replies, I don't think they are anything I don't already know. My son is 9. I know its time to forget him but it is very hard after wanting him for 10 years.

amicon · Jan 2, 2010, 03:26 AM

You need to be strong and do it-get the child support and visitation rights sorted out if you haven't already .
His behaviour is not acceptable and you don't deserve it.
Take care of yourself and your son.

mariem123 · Jan 2, 2010, 03:37 AM

He has always paid for his son, it just hurts that after all these years, he doesn't want me and that is a lot to take in. Thank you x

amicon · Jan 2, 2010, 03:41 AM

Yes your hurt and pain are understandable,but he's not going to change so you must take charge of your own life now.
Have minimum contact with him and allow yourself to heal.

talaniman · Jan 3, 2010, 07:58 AM

He was unhappy with her, jumped to you and now wants neither of you. He will find someone else, he found you both, didn't he?

Obviously not a good choice for a partner. That's a fact you have to face.

jmjoseph · Jan 3, 2010, 08:08 AM

So, you had a 10 year affair with this man?

How many lies, and broken promises to his wife do you think there were?

Do you not feel some sort of compassion for the woman that he married? How do you think SHE feels?

How many times was she "hurt"?

I'm sorry, but you should have known that he was not worthy of trust.

He is a liar and a cheat.

Concentrate on you and your son, and have enough self respect as to not get into a relationship with someone else's man.

Good luck.