[David1016]

I have a 16 yr old daughter who was spoiled rotten by me who is now a manipulative, selfish, demanding teen who lierally "hates me" any advice for her father?

[ROLCAM]

Load her off to some scenester as soon as possible and let him carry the future burden.
Good luck.

[Jake2008]

I have a 16 yr old daughter who was spoiled rotten by me who is now a manipulative, selfish, demanding teen who lierally "hates me" any advice for her father?

It is never too late to make some changes.

As you have learned, she has become to feel 'entitled' to having anything she wanted. She is used to having her own way, and treating you with disrespect.

Discipline is something that would normally tow the line when the attitude first starts, but to have caved into it for 16 years, you are left with a person who has not developed any sense of values. In other words, it is 'normal' for her to show contempt, and judge others superficially. If she has never learned the satisfaction of earning money herself, and a little humility and self sacrifice along the way, it is difficult to turn her around.

But, obviously, you are clearly identifying why she is this way, and you want to change this unbalanced situation. You are probably quite burned out.

First you need to put the hurt feelings aside. Then you need to step up, and take control. The effort will outweigh the hurt, and you will be turning the tide in her attitude and behaviour. A win-win, but it's not easy.

Set some boundaries, with consequences if they are crossed. She should, at this age, be able to hold her tongue with sarcasm, putdowns, swearing, and temper tantrums. Tell her that is the #1 thing that needs to stop. By so doing, she is showing respect for you.

She needs to be accountable for her actions. If she leaves piles of clothes on the floor and expects somebody else to wash them, you need to tell her she has to do her own laundry. No more Miss Princess.

If she is allowed a cell phone, tell her that it has been cancelled, until she earns the privilege of having one. 16 year olds do not NEED a cell phone. If she earns one through good behaviour and attitude, that might be something she can have down the road.

An allowance should be earned, there should be a curfew, and she needs to do some humbling chores, like taking out the garbage, scrubbing the bathroom.

You really need to establish clear expectations of her so she won't be an adult that cannot take care of herself. You are doing her no favours allowing this behaviour.

There are many good parenting websites specifically relating to teens, and you may with to consider family counselling to help address the issues.

You have your work cut out for you. Good luck.

[rosemcs]

Jake was great in his post. I wanted to add that teenage girls can hate their dads if they are too strict all their lives, so it can happen either way.

Age 16 is really the time a girl is almost ready to be out of the house and doesn't want to be told what to do. It's really tough on many parents. It seems like those that sit down and have a loving and concerned talk with their teen can break that thought that the parent is "out to get them".

[C0smic-Sp0of]

Spoiled girls are the worst! I would say that the next time she askes for anything tell her that she can get a job and pay for it herself and if she ever tells you that she hates you ask her where she plans to go in the next twenty four hours. Be a smart . That's what my dad would do and he has me and three other girls.

[J_9]

Load her off to some scenester as soon as possible and let him carry the future burden.
Good luck.

I can't reddie you again, but how dare you suggest this! Are you really THAT insensitive? And what the heck is a "scenester?"

[Alty]

I can't reddie you again, but how dare you suggest this!! Are you really THAT insensitive? And what the heck is a "scenester?"

Something tells me we're better off not knowing. It doesn't sound good. :(

I'm shocked as well. It seems that Rolcam has forgotten why we're here. The OP has a serious question, Rolcam was the first to respond and his post was not good. I don't think the OP will be back, all because of that post.

Now there are people that actually care coming to give great advice but it's unlikely that the OP will return to read it.

Rolcam, if your heart isn't in this anymore then find something else to entertain yourself. The rest of us are here to give advice and help people. I am shocked that you did this. I didn't see it coming and I have to say that I'm very disappointed. :(

[ROLCAM]

Something tells me we're better off not knowing. It doesn't sound good. :(

I'm shocked as well. It seems that Rolcam has forgotten why we're here. The OP has a serious question, Rolcam was the first to respond and his post was not good. I don't think the OP will be back, all because of that post.

Now there are people that actually care coming to give great advice but it's unlikely that the OP will return to read it.

Rolcam, if your heart isn't in this anymore then find something else to entertain yourself. The rest of us are here to give advice and help people. I am shocked that you did this. I didn't see it coming and I have to say that I'm very disappointed. :(

Scenester \SEEN-steh(r)\ (noun) - (Youthspeak) Someone intent on "making the scene," a really cool groupie always at the right band concerts, hanging with the right nest of other cool groupies. Scenesters are identified by their drab clothes, smoking, drug use (or talk of drug use), use of cool words from in(tellectual) magazines, which they don't know the meaning of, and lack of attention to the music at the concerts they attend. An offensive hair-do is a must, if not with spikes and bizarre colors, at least with highlights. The antonym is "geek."

"That weird little scenester was dropping the names of band members she knew as though she were some kind of scene goddess,"

From "scene" + suffix -ster. In the 60s, "scene" took on the meaning of a situation or set of circumstances, as a bad scene (trouble) or make the scene (attend or participate in a hip event). "The scene," as in "the Poughkeepsie scene," refers to the range of things to do in a particular place. The music scene is the range of live music in a particular location. Scenester derives from this sense of "scene." Of course, it may be used as a verb, too: "Philly is a good place to scenester if you can't make it to Poughkeepsie."

[ROLCAM]

Spoiled girls are the worst! I would say that the next time she askes for anything tell her that she can get a job and pay for it herself and if she ever tells you that she hates you ask her where she plans to go in the next twenty four hours. Be a smart . Thats what my dad would do and he has me and three other girls.

Spoiled girls are the worst!

I agree 100%.

You call a spade a spade.

[Alty]

Spoiled girls are the worst!

I agree 100%.

You call a spade a spade.

Rolcam, I think you should stick to the accounting forum and leave the other forums alone. You obviously don't have any valid advice to offer here.

I am really disturbed by your posts here, so much so that I checked out a few of your other posts. I have to say, you seem like a bored teen that has decided to become a nuisance, a troll.

I have to ask. Why are you here? You obviously aren't here to help, so why?

[Cat1864]

I have a 16 yr old daughter who was spoiled rotten by me who is now a manipulative, selfish, demanding teen who lierally "hates me" any advice for her father?

What is your family set-up? Married with both parents raising the child? Single father with custody? Single father with partial custody? Single father with visitation? Married but not to the girl's biological mother? Are there other children?

I ask because if her mother is a part of the family structure, whether in the house or as a 'divorced' parent sharing custody/visitation, then you both need to sit down and write out what the rules are and (as important as the rules) what the consequences are (both for obeying and for disobeying). You both need to work together and be aware that nothing changes overnight. Consistency and patience.

Post the rules and, if there is one, a chore/organizational chart for the whole family. Make certain that everyone knows what their role is in the household and be open to making changes as circumstances change.

[Clough]

Spoiled girls are the worst!

I agree 100%.

You call a spade a spade.

Best to be watching what you say, ROLCAM! Around where I live, using that sort of language could lead to a fight!

And, that's putting it mildly!