[Carol82]

Hello all,
This might sounds like a silly question but I need help to make sure I don't make a huge mistake.
I am getting a divorce from my husband. Unfortunately, we have had a horrible relationship for the longest time so there is really not much left for us to work on.
I started liking a coworker of mine but when we were talking casually it came up that I am married. Since I was married then I did not want to admit to my coworker how much I really liked him. It would have sounded horrible. Even though I had trouble with my husband, I would not have done anything wrong as long as we were married. I have an "always faithful syndrome" even though my husband did not deserve this from me...

Now that I am getting a divorce I would like to let my coworker know that "I am single and I like him" without sounding either desperate or slutty. I am not a brave person when it comes to that. Also, I would have never taken the first step well... first. But he doesn't know that I am getting divorced so he wouldn't have & couldn't have done the first step. I have to let him know somehow in a subtle way so he could do it.

I can't just bring it up that I am divorced. It would sound kind of suspicious and not subtle. Especially since we don't talk about relationships. I can't just tell him how I feel for two reasons 1.) what IF he doesn't feel the same - although I think he might 2.) he could think I'm coming on strong. So I need to let him know that I am single so he could do something if he wanted to.

I need a nice, sublte, lady like way to tell him that he could ask me out:). How can I bring it up? What do I say? Gosh this is so hard. I just don't want to be emberrased.

By the way for those who think I am moving fast after a marriage:
I am not on a rebound. My husband and I have no married life for so long that I can't even recall it exactly. This means we were never intimate and fought a lot. He never even kissed me on my lips during that time... so trust me I am not on a rebound and I do not go after the first guy I see either. I truly like this person and I feel like I am losing him the longer I wait
Thank you!

[Catsmine]

Your post is somewhat unclear. Is your divorce final? Ask him out to celebrate. No? Wait. The "always faithful" is a good thing, keep it.

[Cat1864]

According to this thread started on DECEMBER 19, 2009, you are still married and saying that you don't have the strength to 'leave': https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...an-426341.html

On DECEMBER 24th, you were still going to talk to your husband and give it one more chance. NOW on the 31st you are divorcing and moving on ready to begin a new life.

Whether you think so or not, you are moving too fast. Get a FULL and FINAL divorce decree so that you aren't subjecting this man to your marital drama. If he is such a nice guy, then he deserves better than to be used as an excuse to leave a bad marriage.

[Fr_Chuck]

OK, you are still married, so you are not single to tell anyone at work anything.

And as you spend the months taking off work, going to court and to an attorney, your co workers will know you are getting a divorce and will be single.

But let me see you are going to jump from one bad relationshiip into some other relationshp without any time to heal and get over the other?

Plus you are going to make the worst dating mistake by dating a co worker.

Time to divorce, spend 6 months to a year alone after the divorce is final before you start jumping into anything

[Carol82]

YES, I did try to work it out with my husband since that time. Yes, AGAIN he pushed me away and Swore at me. So I am sorry but I had enough and asked for a divorce. Yes, he was a very, very nice guy to me one time. But now he is only nice to others. He completely shuts me out of his life. I am just there to serve dinner and clean. This has been going on for a very long time time and I don't need to heal anymore. I am over it. I am done and I am not on any kind of rebound. I feel like it is time for me to be happy. Yes, the divorce is not final yet, but I just wanted to talk to my coworker and start dating once the divorce is final. I didn't plan to jump into bed with him until then.
After what I've been put through, I deserve to be happy. I was hoping that I could get a straight answer to my question but I realized that without all the information no one can give me an advice and I don't want to convince everyone that I am faithful and respectful to a man who unfortunately, doesn't give me the same.
Thank you for all the replies but I think I'll just see what I'll do.