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Amy Marie · Dec 26, 2009, 05:06 AM

I am a mother of a three year old girl. She is beautiful, smart and loving. However, this child I carried in my womb for 9 months... treats me terrible. She pushes me away, says NO, I want Daddy. Family gatherings, she pushes me away, tells me she doesn't want me sitting next to her. She will ignore me the entire time. This keeps me awake at night. How can your own child... dislike you this much. I do all I can for her. I work 4 days a week. Saturday -Monday I am at home. We color, read books, bake cookies, etc. However, as soon as Daddy gets home or other people show up, she is so mean to me. It hurts a lot. She will give me dirty looks, if she cries during the night, she only wants Daddy to come to her aid. I cry that my own daughter pushes me out of the way. She treats family members she doesn't know very well... wonderful. She would not even let me help her open Christmas gifts. She said NO, then asked an Aunt to help. Please any advice would be great. She only says I love you... when no one else is home??

tickle · Dec 26, 2009, 05:10 AM

Please don't take any affront when your three year old displays emotions that are not understanble to you, they are not understandable to her at 3 either. If you treat it lightly when it happens it will be better off for you. You are reading far too much into these displays of hatred. You are with her too much and she is probably taking you for granted and acting out, possibly they way she sees or hears someone else act out at home. Is that the case ?

Tick

Amy Marie · Dec 26, 2009, 05:52 AM

I could understand if there was a negative environment. However, my husband and I are best friends. We almost never argue and everything we do is for her. Maybe we do too much for her? We love her sooo much. She occasionally does not like my husband either. However, it is mostly me. The only thing I can think of is I am busy at home. I stop to play with her for a few minutes, then do some laundry. I watch a favorite show with her.. then stop to do some cleaning... etc... etc.. This still does not explain her dislike for me.? I don't know... maybe our focus is too much on her and I think she knows her behavior makes me sad.?

jmjoseph · Dec 26, 2009, 07:33 AM

Just give it time.

I'm sorry for the pain that this is causing, but believe me when I say that it is only temporary. You just keep loving her all the same, and she will snap out of it.

Dr. Kevin Leman has some great child rearing books that will help you.They will help you out. Try "Have A New Kid by Friday"

Jake2008 · Dec 26, 2009, 09:20 AM

She will respond to 'no', herself. When the two of you are together, instead of reading, baking cookies, and playing, put your feet up, watch TV. She will ask you to do something, and say 'no'. I would keep this up until you can see she gets a connection with how your saying no, is the same as her saying no, when other people are around.

She may not respond favourable, or intellectually, because she is used to doing fun things with you, when nobody else is around, but she will eventually have to come around, and ask for your time to do an activity.

The point is, the issue of her rejecting you, is an attitude, that in her mind, works. She gets the best of you, then she gets the best of everybody else without you, or without having to compete with you.

Three year olds do get territorial, but she is not too young to understand that if she can figure out rejecting you gets her what she wants, that you rejecting her, may stop the behaviour.

JoeCanada76 · Dec 26, 2009, 09:39 AM

This is actually quite normal. The more you make a big deal out of it. The more of the scene that is made by you. The more of an reaction you make. The harder it will to deal with it and the more she will do it.

You know what. There are different times at different stages in a child's life they prefer one parent over another one.

Anyone that have children probably experienced it at some point. Yes, it can be upsetting but it is best not to react to it because children pick up on the smallest reaction.

It is best not to make an issue out of it and know that boys tend to be closer to their moms. Girls tend to be closer to their daddy's. Just depends on what stage of life they are going through.

KISS · Dec 26, 2009, 05:45 PM

I agree with what's said.

Your jumping for her. Don't. Daddy can't giver her 100% attention either. He has to say no too, then she can play with nobody or you.

Remember the Oedepois complex (However it's spelled).