[aschreck]

I have been dating this man for about 6 months. He is an old boyfriend that I dated 25 years ago and we found each other again. We started where we left off years ago.. intimate. We both have had two failed marriages (bad ones at that) We both agreed that we would just enjoy each others company when we needed to. However, the last three months have been confusing. When I go out with the girls he will ask that I make sure guys don't hit on me.. he even said that I could tell them Im taken. He used to text me maybe once or twice a week, now he texts me everynite before he goes to bed and asks how my day was then ends it with goodnite and sweet dreams, sometimes I get a "sweetheart" ending. When we are in bed, he holds me closer for longer periods and will kiss my forehead, my hair, my neck or shoulders when he thinks Im asleep. He makes sure I am covered up and warm in bed. Recently he has taken my words and used them on me. I would tell him how good he smells, looks, tastes and feels... now I am on the receiving end of those comments. He always asks about my kids if they are sick. He has told me that he hopes I ready for a long ride with him and that he hopes I can get used to an old man (sometimes he has problems performing). But here's the kicker... we never have actually stated ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend. He even has said that we have plenty of time so we should take it slow.! Am I losing my mind?

[JBeaucaire]

No, you're not, but you are leading him on by your own involvement with him at this level. This man appears to be wasting no time affixing you in his life... is this what you want?

There's no reason you can't change your mind about the GF/BF status and become more serious. He's already heading that way and you could just join him. Why not?

And there's no reason you can't stand your ground reminding him gently that the two of you are not exclusive, though you are enjoying his company immensely (or whatever adverb you wish to use).

There's no need to deep-analyze, most men are pretty transparent. Go with what you see them DOING and trust that. This guy appears to be treating you like a GF, so trust that THAT is how he sees it. Even his words seem to match, but it wouldn't matter if they didn't. Guys actions are the thing the judge.

So decide what you really want and confidently and mercifully go with that. Don't involve yourself in attitudes, conversations and/or activities that don't properly reflect the relationship you want, and don't "let things go" that he does that fall outside of that. Gentle corrections/reminders are the safest bet.

And this applies to whichever path you choose... BF/GF or casual friends with benefits.

[talaniman]

It seems the official labels are what you want, but he doesn't care about that too much.

You both have done the marriage thing twice. So what is it you want, a third time maybe?

This is where you talk, and see what's on each others minds, and figure how your going to deal with that new knowledge.

[I wish]

It seems as though you're not so much focused on labels, but rather the symbolism behind them. You're on one path; slow and steady. He seems to be gravitating towards the long haul.
You don't have to label yourselves as boyfriend+girlfriend, but it definitely seems as though he's taking the relationship on a more serious level than you are. I think you should talk to him about this as well, make sure you're on the same road, wanting the same things. Otherwise you might wake up one morning finding he's ready for a third marriage, and you're still waiting to declare boyfriend/girlfriend status.