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    Ray6386's Avatar
    Ray6386 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 22, 2009, 05:14 AM
    My girlfriend isn't attracted to me anymore
    So yea I love my girlfriend very much and it sucks that I have to resort to a forum but I don't know where else to go.I feel like my girlfriend isn't attracted to me anymore. I know she's been with a lot of people so she knows what's she's doing. I've asked what her sex life was before with the ex that counted and she explained that she would have sex all the time. And when we started so was really into me but once I gave in I feel like she lost interest. And I feel that when she does have sex that its for me and not her... its like I've dated many girls and I know when a woman finds me attractive, yet she her I feel like blah... I don't feel special anymore... what should I do...
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #2

    Dec 22, 2009, 06:21 AM

    Have the two of you discussed this?
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #3

    Dec 22, 2009, 06:29 AM

    Okay, you broke my one main rule. DO NOT ask about her past sex life, it will eat you alive now. You have to think of it this way, if she was having sex all the time, it may just have been a physical relationship with no real substance. She realized this, and when she met you she wanted more depth in her life. You two have an emotional connection that she didn't have before.

    One the flip side, perhaps it's your own self image that you have a problem with. Do you find yourself attractive? If not, perhaps make changes for yourself

    Also, talk about this with your girlfriend, your communication has to be solid in order for this relationship to work.
    Ray6386's Avatar
    Ray6386 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Dec 22, 2009, 03:49 PM

    Yes and sex increased but I feel its for me. I never get a compliment. Its so dull...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Dec 22, 2009, 04:22 PM

    Dude, if all your worried about your sex life, then your feeling were built on lust in the first place. After the lust wears off, you should have something else going for you. If not, it all goes down hill.

    Red flags to pay attention to-
    Needing compliments for sex
    Needy and insecure with yourself
    Comparing yourself to guys in her past
    Feeds your insecurity, as you don't think you measure up.
    Lack of substance in other areas of the relationship.
    Doesn't she have any good points outside the bedroom?
    Loss of sex, loss of interests in her.
    If all your feelings are tied to the bedroom, are you even noticing anything else good about her? You haven't acknowledge them, just how bored you are.

    The lust has gone, now what?
    Ray6386's Avatar
    Ray6386 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Dec 22, 2009, 04:36 PM

    That's the thing. This isn't a lust thing. I love her and I don't want to lose her. I know she cares for me but sooner or later if she's not feeling me in the bed room then its only a matter of time
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Dec 22, 2009, 05:17 PM

    What's her side of this issue?
    Ray6386's Avatar
    Ray6386 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Dec 24, 2009, 03:21 AM

    She doesn't see what I see. But as of yesterday I talked to her in detail and I think and hope this makes a change... I really love her and can't stand the thought of losing someone so special to me
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Dec 24, 2009, 06:10 AM

    None of us can.
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