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brunettebeauty · Dec 22, 2009, 01:47 PM

OK I have a boyfriend and we've been together a little over a year, but there's this guy (my ex) who keeps calling and texting me, telling me he loves me and wants to be back together, bt I don't. I've tried just ignoring him and I've told him repeatedly that I don't want to get back together, but it doesn't work. He knows I have a boyfriend and I met him before my current boyfriend. Is there anything I can do?

I wish · Dec 22, 2009, 01:49 PM

1) Change your number.

2) Don't pick up his calls.

3) Don't return his text messages.

4) Don't give him any attention.

5) Don't even tell him to leave you alone, just flat out ignore him.

brunettebeauty · Dec 22, 2009, 02:25 PM

OK I hope he'll leave me alone. I'm trying to be nice about it

Alty · Dec 22, 2009, 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by brunettebeauty

ok I hope he'll leave me alone. I'm trying to be nice about it

Nice about it? No, don't be anything about it.

No contact. Don't talk to him, don't answer his texts, delete his number from your phone, delete him from all social networks, delete him out of your life.

You don't owe him anything. If you've asked that he stop contacting you and he won't, then don't give him an option.

There's no such thing as trying to ignore someone, you either do it or you don't. If you don't want contact with him then that's up to you.

talaniman · Dec 22, 2009, 05:56 PM

You don't have to be nice when someone is pestering you.

HistorianChick · Dec 22, 2009, 07:24 PM

Bottom line: You don't want him to contact you; therefore, he should NOT contact you.

You've told him to stop and he hasn't... that was being nice. He hasn't honored your wishes and needs to stop.

Change your number. Yes, it's a hassle and will be more of a pain for you than him, but it will help you. Don't get to the point where you are afraid to open a text message because you don't know if it's from him or not.

Its easy to say that you're ignoring him, but its hard until you actually take steps to cut him out of your life. It's your life, sweetie, and it's your perroggative to have whoever you wish in it.

Be strong.

slapshot_oi · Dec 22, 2009, 07:58 PM

Originally Posted by brunettebeauty

I'm trying to be nice about it

That's your problem.

He's hurting so bad that he's only thinking for himself, whether his phone calls inconvenience you isn't a priority to him, so being nice isn't going to work. You have to be stern and cold, he'll be surprised by your reaction and will quickly realize how embarrassing his behavior is. Take from me, this is what I needed to hear from exes that I would pester, and it worked.

Option B would be to change your number.

jaime90 · Dec 24, 2009, 09:54 PM

Don't talk to him at all. Don't answer the phone and yell at him, don't talk about him, don't speak his name. If you talk to him (even if you're screaming about what a lousy guy he is,) you are creating an emotional connection. Stop all contact with him, and if you can, change your phone number. If you must, call the police for a restraining order- it may sound excessive, but if the guy is bothering you and making you uncomfortable, it could be called for.