[darkamenity]

I had to leave college, and my friends and my boyfriend all behind because my dad has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.
He's doing all right now, but is still struggling.
It seems selfish to make the long distance relationship seem like a problem,
But despite my efforts on trying to keep our relationship somewhat together online, the relationships seems to be 'slipping' away.

We'd only been together for 2 months before I left, and it's been a month since I left.

I know this isn't the worst of my problems, but I'd like some advice.

I want this relationship because it's part of what I look forward to, have hope for the future in general,
But I get a sense I'm holding him back in his own life.
And so many other things.

What do you do?

[rosemcs]

You have a great responsibility on your hands now and can't be in two places at once. Taking care of your sick father is one of the greatest things you could be doing on this earth! Make sure you get your own time for yourself as a caregiver.

Unless you chose to leave your father, there really is not too much you can have control over on your boyfriend's side. The relationship may just add another stressor to your life that you can't focus on right now. You haven't been together that long to ask for a commitment. If he starts to withdraw, there really is not too much at all you can do because of the timing.

"It is what it is."

Many times, relationships are so much about timing. It really is that simple. This is a time in your life where it may not be possible to continue what you had.

Do you feel trapped and depressed because of being a caregiver? I would. Can you leave your father to see if this relationship would work out? If not, then your strength will have to come from joining a support group in your area that can help you keep giving your love to your father. That love would be something that you would never forget and make yourself proud of what you have already done.

[vanheart]

Concentrate on your father.

[talaniman]

If your care giving will be any great length of time, I think you should let your new partner know, as this is a decision you both should make together.

[Devorameira]

I know you're worrying about your relationship, but gear your worry toward your Dad. Dad won't be around much longer, so you need to focus on him and his needs right now. If the relationship with your boyfriend is meant to be, it will be after you return.