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fifilafemme · Dec 21, 2009, 08:47 AM

I really like this guy and until a few days ago he apparently liked me back... I'm 14 and he has just turned 17. We went out before in May but I took him on the rebound. But for the last few months we have been speaking really well and we got closer than we've ever been. I knew how he felt about me and next thing he says that he just wants to be friends. He said it's the age difference and he worries every time he speaks to me.. I think it's because I took him on the rebound and the age difference. He said he spoke to someone about it but won't tell me who it is. We are now making small talk but he is really shifty with me.. like he is scared? I don't understand how it can just bother him now.. I really really really like this guy and I've told him but he doesn't seem to want to know. Will he come round or is there something I can do?

redhed35 · Dec 21, 2009, 08:50 AM

If he is 17 I can see his point with the age difference... theres a lot to consider...

There's not really much a 14 and 17 year old have in common...

My advice is to leave him alone,and enjoy your time with your friends.

HellHound82 · Dec 21, 2009, 09:25 AM

Sorry but I agree with red, you got to move on, if you two are really meant to be together then it won't hurt o wait until you are 18 and the relationship is not going to put him in jail

hheath541 · Dec 21, 2009, 10:00 AM

Whoever he talked to gave him good advice. If you did end up in a relationship he could end up in serious trouble, especially if it became sexual later on. He is choosing to avoid that.

Be happy with being friends for now. If you keep trying to pressure him into a relationship, he may cut off all communication. You're young, date someone your own age.

shazamataz · Dec 21, 2009, 05:45 PM

I would be worried if a 17 year old was sexually attracted to a 14 year old.

You DON'T make him get over it.
Ever heard of being FRIENDS. Just because you like him doesn't mean he has to be your boyfriend.

FadedMaster · Dec 21, 2009, 06:41 PM

I agree with everyone here, for the most part. I can see how some 14 and 17 year olds would have some things in common. It all depends on the 14 and 17 year old... especially if one just turned 17. You're talking about less than 3 years difference.

But more on topic here: as mentioned, there really isn't anything you can do other than continue to grow older. If you can, just maintain a healthy friendship with him. You'll only put a strain on the friendship if you try to force him.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 21, 2009, 06:42 PM

Well first the "rebound" most rebounds don't don't make it anyway.

Next he well at 17 could be thinking about a sexual relationship with a girlfriend and going to jail for it, most likely bothers him

MsMewiththat · Dec 21, 2009, 06:56 PM

All valid points brought to you above. 14 is really a new time for you mentally. Slow it down. He has already done some of the growing that you will begin or may have already begun to do. It is really important that you grow and go on this journey on your own. You really don't need to experience this through the eyes or the previous experience of someone else. Go it on your own. Really you may regret his influence later on. Best of luck. There are a lot of young guys your age that are working at your speed (or the speed you should be at). Best wishes

JudyKayTee · Dec 22, 2009, 09:38 AM

Originally Posted by shazamataz

I would be worried if a 17 year old was sexually attracted to a 14 year old.

You DON'T make him get over it.
Ever heard of being FRIENDS. Just because you like him doesn't mean he has to be your boyfriend.

I'd be worried if a 17 year old were emotionally attracted to a 14 year old!

At 17 the person would be a Junior or Senior in high school and the 14 year old would be a Freshman - ?

The age difference is meaningless at 18 and 21 but 14 and 17?