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NorthGaDaddy · Dec 21, 2009, 07:36 AM

My ex has a drug habit and only wants money. She does not want our baby. She uses the baby (and the police) as a threat because she knows that I want to keep and raise the baby and will take care of him. When things aren't going her way, she threatens to file kid knapping charges since the baby is staying at my house and I was not married to her (so I legally have no rights until I have enough saved to hire a lawyer) At the moment, I have the baby. We have been switching him back and forth for one week at a time. Now he interfers with her drug habit so I have him almost all the time. I am in no way keeping him from her, he is just better off with me and she knows that. She is asking that I pay her ten Thousand dollars and in return she will sign over full custody to me. I don't have the $10k. Is it legal for her to even do that? Can I record her telling me this on my cell phone (Georgia law says one party must know about the recording, and that "party" would be me) and if I do record her saying she just wants the money, will that help me in court? Please help... and Thank you!

tickle · Dec 21, 2009, 07:53 AM

If she is trying to sell her baby to you, the father, for that amount of money, I would assume, yes, that would help you get custody in court, that and the fact that she abuses drugs is enough to lose a baby. Start recording.

Tick

HellHound82 · Dec 21, 2009, 09:37 AM

tickle pretty well summed it up only thing I have to add is if you don't have money for a lawyer you can find some that will take cases like yours free, and even if you weren't married you still have rights to your child.

MsMewiththat · Dec 21, 2009, 09:47 AM

You should also take it upon yourself to petition the court. You can certainly go to the self help section at your government court counter without an attorney and represent yourself to get something on the record and the books to be proactive in your situation. You currently have custody of the child and if you are not making things up about the drug habit put that in your petition as well. You can contact child protective services if the child is with her and you know that she is under the influence of drugs. Don't wait until you have the money for an attorney to do what is right.

this8384 · Dec 21, 2009, 02:51 PM

Originally Posted by NorthGaDaddy

My ex has a drug habit and only wants money. She does not want our baby. She uses the baby (and the police) as a threat because she knows that I want to keep and raise the baby and will take care of him. When things aren't going her way, she threatens to file kid knapping charges since the baby is staying at my house and I was not married to her (so I legally have no rights until I have enough saved to hire a lawyer) At the moment, I have the baby. We have been switching him back and forth for one week at a time. Now he interfers with her drug habit so I have him almost all the time. I am in no way keeping him from her, he is just better off with me and she knows that. She is asking that I pay her ten Thousand dollars and in return she will sign over full custody to me. I don't have the $10k. Is it legal for her to even do that? Can I record her telling me this on my cell phone (Georgia law says one party must know about the recording, and that "party" would be me) and if I do record her saying she just wants the money, will that help me in court? Please help.... and Thank you!!

Georgia law does not allow you to record your conversations unless you have consent from all parties:
"Can We Tape?"
If you read the link I have provided, the consequences of doing so will outweigh the benefits.

If you can prove that she is a drug user, then file with the courts immediately. You don't need a lawyer, although it can be helpful to have one. You need to get paternity established through a court-ordered DNA test as soon as possible.

In most cases, a judge will not allow a parent to sign over their rights unless there is another party willing to adopt the child.

NorthGaDaddy · Dec 21, 2009, 03:02 PM

[QUOTE=this8384;2139578]Georgia law does not allow you to record your conversations unless you have consent from all parties:
"Can We Tape?"
If you read the link I have provided, the consequences of doing so will outweigh the benefits.

-------------------------------

Thank you for the link. It confirms what I had already read on the Georgia website. The law says it is OK to record a phone converstaion as long as one party is consenting. The part about ALL parties knowing is only about video taping.

"However, the law expressly provides that it does not prohibit a person who is a party to a conversation from recording, and allows recording if one party to the conversation has given prior consent. Ga. Code Ann. § 16-11-66."

this8384 · Dec 21, 2009, 03:06 PM

Originally Posted by NorthGaDaddy

Originally Posted by this8384

Georgia law does not allow you to record your conversations unless you have consent from all parties:
"Can We Tape?"
If you read the link I have provided, the consequences of doing so will outweigh the benefits.

-------------------------------

Thank you for the link. It confirms what I had already read on the Georgia website. The law says it is OK to record a phone converstaion as long as one party is consenting. The part about ALL parties knowing is only about video taping.

"However, the law expressly provides that it does not prohibit a person who is a party to a conversation from recording, and allows recording if one party to the conversation has given prior consent. Ga. Code Ann. § 16-11-66."

I don't think you understand. This part:

Secretly recording or listening to a conversation held in a private place, without the consent of all parties, whether carried out orally or by wire or electronic means, is a felony invasion of privacy under Georgia law. Ga. Code Ann. § 16-11-62.

Specifically says you cannot record a conversation without consent of all parties, whether the conversation is oral or electronic - meaning via telephone or computer.

Being a convicted felon is not going to help you gain custody of your child. I'm not saying it to be harsh, I'm saying it to help you.

EDIT: I'm going to ask someone with more knowledge of the law than I have to take a look at this. I don't see how they can say it's illegal, then say it's not. That makes no sense.

this8384 · Dec 21, 2009, 03:16 PM

Setting aside the issue of taping/not taping, are you able to prove the mother has a drug addiction? Does she have a criminal history? Do you have a criminal history? These are all things the courts will want to know.

JudyKayTee · Dec 22, 2009, 06:02 AM

I think the telephone recording is going to be meaningless. Go to Court with proof that the mother is a danger to the child, unfit.

I've seen too many recorded telephone converations thrown out because of the leading nature of the questions and the argument that the second party went along only to shut the first party up.

twinkiedooter · Dec 22, 2009, 04:05 PM

The problem with recording phone conversations is that there is no proof just who is being recorded. They are not admissible in a court of law due to this. Unless it is a tape that the police made and then the jury (in the case of criminal proceedings) won't hear it but the Judge will.

Definitely go to the Clerk's Office and start some sort of paperwork trail in trying to obtain full custody of your child starting the Court ordered DNA testing - even if you are not on the birth certificate.

No, she cannot "sell" her child to you.

cdad · Dec 22, 2009, 04:10 PM

Let me try to clear something up. When recording on a telephone about the only time it would be admissible in court in a case like this is if it were a message left on an answering system. If that is the case then consent is implied. Other then that you can't for the reasons the others have stated above.

ScottGem · Dec 22, 2009, 04:19 PM

First question, are you on the birth certificate as the father? If so, her threats are meaningless. You can only be prosecuted for parental kidnapping if you are hiding the child from the custodial parent.

But you should, IMMEDIATELY, file a petition in court for at least Joint custody, with primary physical custody. You do not need a lawyer for this, check with Family court for what you need to do to file.

One source for free or low cost legal help might be a local law school.

But you can't wait. You need to get custody established now.

tickle · Dec 22, 2009, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

But you can't wait. You need to get custody established now.

Yes, of course, whatever it takes to get the child away into proper guardianship. If she is in fact a drug user then she would be trying whatever way she can to get the money to support her habit and not a good environment for a baby.

Tick

NorthGaDaddy · Dec 23, 2009, 08:56 AM

Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

The problem with recording phone conversations is that there is no proof just who is being recorded. They are not admissible in a court of law due to this. Unless it is a tape that the police made and then the jury (in the case of criminal proceedings) won't hear it but the Judge will.

Definitely go to the Clerk's Office and start some sort of paperwork trail in trying to obtain full custody of your child starting the the Court ordered DNA testing - even if you are not on the birth certificate.

No, she cannot "sell" her child to you.

---------

I went to DFACS and asked about her Drug use and her “Doctor shopping”. She’s going to several different Doctors and a walk in Methadone Clinic which works like a buy-here-pay-here place. DFACS said they can drug test her, but since she has Doctors RX a positive test would mean nothing. Her own Mother called DFACS on her. When they came out, she was so drugged up that she couldn’t hold her head up. But the Aunt was there and the Aunt was sober so the kids were not taken.

Went to a lawyer yesterday and was told basically the same thing about the recording. He specifically said that the recording could be considered entrapment if I was "too leading" in my questions.

About her selling the baby to me… The lawyer said that is not illegal since I am the Father of the baby, and the court would reword it is being a “Custody Settlement”. I don’t have 10k laying around so I asked her if she would sell the baby to my Aunt which would be illegal. She said she would, but the Lawyer said it would be thrown out since I lead her into that and it would be considered “entrapment“.

The lawyer also said not to push the case any further with DFACS because “DFACS tends to mess stuff up a lot”

I don’t want her to go to jail… I just want my son… and I want her to stop playing games with him. He is a beautiful little boy with a very bright future. He deserves better than his Mother is treating him.

Thanks for all your responses. I am looking for another Lawyer for a second opinion on my case.

NorthGaDaddy · Dec 23, 2009, 09:02 AM

On a side note- :mad:

What burns me up the most about her asking for $10k is that $10k is such a minuscule amount of money. I wish I had the $10k in cash that I could give her. That only works out to two years child support. It would be a great deal for me financially.

Also… $10k will not go far at all when you are living the lifestyle that she is living! That money will be gone in a flash. I am thinking 2-3 months at the most and then she’ll be broke again, still on drugs, and with no child. Just how could she pick that amount of money? I would never, never, never accept any amount of money for him. He is just to precious to give away like that! :mad:

this8384 · Dec 23, 2009, 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by NorthGaDaddy

On a side note- :mad:

What burns me up the most about her asking for $10k is that $10k is such a miniscule amount of money. I wish I had the $10k in cash that I could give her. That only works out to two years child support. It would be a great deal for me financially.

Also… $10k will not go far at all when you are living the lifestyle that she is living! That money will be gone in a flash. I am thinking 2-3 months at the most and then she’ll be broke again, still on drugs, and with no child. Just how could she pick that amount of money?? I would never, never, never accept any amount of money for him. He is just to precious to give away like that! :mad:

That's the difference - she had a child, but isn't a parent. You, on the other hand, are a true father who loves and cares for your child more than yourself.

File immediately to get paternity established, if it hasn't been already. If you can prove that she is abusing drugs and is a danger to the child, also request sole custody and supervised visitation for her - odds are, she won't even want it.

NorthGaDaddy · Dec 23, 2009, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by this8384

That's the difference - she had a child, but isn't a parent. You, on the other hand, are a true father who loves and cares for your child more than yourself.

File immediately to get paternity established, if it hasn't been already. If you can prove that she is abusing drugs and is a danger to the child, also request sole custody and supervised visitation for her - odds are, she won't even want it.

Thank you!

ScottGem · Dec 23, 2009, 10:13 AM

As an aside here, its important to read all your responses and answer any questions asked to give us the ability to help you.

You never answered the question about whether you are on the birth certificate or have been legally recognized as the father. This is a key piece of info. Has there been ANY court actions involving paternity or custody or support?

NorthGaDaddy · Dec 27, 2009, 03:16 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

As an aside here, its important to read all your responses and answer any questions asked to give us the ability to help you.

You never answered the question about whether you are on the birth certificate or have been legally recognized as the father. This is a key piece of info. Has there been ANY court actions involving paternity or custody or support?

Yes, I am on the birth certificate and she did give him my name. I was at the hospital when he was born, and I got copies of the hospital records showing that he had to stay in the NICU for nearly two months because he was born addicted to dope. I was told that means nothing and will not help my case because the hospital records are not "certified" and the birth Certificate having my name also means nothing until we go to court. When I went to the court house to try to file for a hearing on my own, I was strongly advised NOT to do so without a Lawyer.

For the past several days, she has called 5-10 times a day asking for the money. Even Christmas day she called several times asking if I had come up with the 10k yet. Today I told her that I don't have the 10k and that I would just have to drop him off with her if that is what she wanted. NO! She doesn't want him... she just wants the money. She freaked and said that if I could just bring her $100 and KEEP our baby with me that she wouldn't call the police and file kidnapping charges. She also said that he is better off with me since she can not take care of him. She said over and over “You keep him, I just need the money” (ALL this is on tape).

After 10 harassing phone calls (just TODAY!) from her, I took her my last $100. When I met with her I told her that I needed that money to take care of the baby this week... she didn't bat an eye. Took the money and didn't look back. So... I still have the baby.

NorthGaDaddy · Dec 27, 2009, 03:23 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

As an aside here, its important to read all your responses and answer any questions asked to give us the ability to help you.

You never answered the question about whether you are on the birth certificate or have been legally recognized as the father. This is a key piece of info. Has there been ANY court actions involving paternity or custody or support?

Sorry... and no to your other questions. No legal proceedings have taken place yet to "legally" recognize me as the Father. There is also no support order. The baby has already been living with me for quite some time, but not because the court ordered that, it is because she does not want him. She wants me to keep him AND pay her money even though he is living with me. (what would that be called if I have the baby but have to give her money? We weren't married so she wouldn't get alimony, right? And it wouldn't be Child support since he is with me, right? )

One other thing that I have been doing is taking a picture every day. I am using the same at-home daycare this whole time while I go to work, and we go to the same Church every Sunday. I was hoping that would help me if I needed to prove that he has stability when he is with me.