[MeeDee23]

Thanks for all of your help everyone... I know what I need to do now.

[Wildcat21]

All I can say is - right now give her space - no contact. Leave her alone.

I know for a fact it's IMPOSSIBLE to have any type of relationship while I nthe first two years of law school - it is just not possible.

I bet a lto of money you've put undue presureon her - she need zero pressure right now so she can study. No one goes top Law School for kicks - it's the only thing that matters. You #2 right now.

I'd leave her alone for a long time and wait for her to contact you.

She doesn't need the pressure right now of working on broken relationship ar all.

What in the hell were you doing gjusy ahngin gharoundf her apartment - can we say BORING!! Women need excitement, suprises, changes of scenery. What the hel were you thinking??

[tadano]

Deep down, I feel this scary situation could actually be a blessing in disguise that could make our relationship so much better now that I see things so clearly. I think all relationships need to face things like this to become stronger in the end.

It has been a full week since we have talked and it's absolutely tearing me apart. I'm trying so hard to keep my distance for the next month (until finals are over). I'm afraid this distance will make her too comfortable without me but I also hope that "absence makes the heart grow fonder". I'm so lost and scared....and I don't know how I'm going to make it through 3 more weeks like this just waiting to see in the end if she decides we are "meant to be". I think the clock has literally stopped moving as I type away at this message....

I hear you man, I'm pretty much going through the same thing right now with my girl. On the one hand, you want to leave her alone because you want to respect her need for space and deep down you know it's the best thing for both of you. But on the other hand, you're terrified that she'll decide she has no problem with her life without you in it, and you can't risk losing her like that without a fight.

I know everyone on here is going to tell you to keep your distance, don't talk at all, and they're right... it's what you should do. But also try and take solace in the fact that I bet 99% she's thinking about you just as much as you're thinking about her, and she's just as scared as you are. And if she's not, then is that really the type of girl you want to be with? You deserve someone that can love you with all their heart.

[Wildcat21]

Best thing you can do is leave her a lone and make her miss you.

Make sure you were never smothering her.

Be busy with other things in life. Work, friends, workouts!! family hobbies, etc.

[talaniman]

Your right, that adversity makes relationships stronger... if the partners work together to overcome. If they split up it's a good indication that you both are on different life paths, or are on different worlds. Much as it hurts you need to lead your life without her, and give her all the space she needs. It's a good time for you to get your act together and be who you want to be. I've been through this a few times and no amount of love is worth putting yourself second best, NEVER, EVER short change yourself. So do what you have to to make your life enjoyable and fulfilling. Move on don't look back. No one knows what the future holds so take care of yourself. If she cares she will call... if not, live on.

[MeeDee23]

What in the hell were you doin gjusy ahngin gharoundf her appartment - can we say BORING!!!! Women need excitment, suprises, changes of scenery. What the hel were you thinking????

Trust me, I wasn't all about staying around and doing nothing. But she often said how tired she always was and enjoyed just having some free time. That, and she always commented she wasn't all about going to bars. I know this was something that I shouldn't have let go on like this... but I was blind to it. I see this all so clearly now and would give anything to have a shot at redemption (even thought that's not how I want to address it). Basically I just want to go at it with the right approach, because she and I have too much history and love to throw away with our first major roadblock.

I agree with no direct contact. Although I still wish I could let her know that I care about her focusing and doing well on Finals because that is the big issue at the moment. I have talked to a number of friends and they said sending flowers right before finals might make her feel better. I'd just say something like "Good luck on finals, you will do great!". Is this too intrusive? I just want her to know I support her and want her to do well. I'd like to find some way to reach out to her without getting in her way...

[Allheart]

Oh boy, I hope the other posters nip my comments right in the bud if I am wrong.. PLEASE DO, if I am telling MeeDee the wrong thing. As I was reading the post, I was thinking what could possibly be wrong with MeeDee just sending a little note to her, wishing her well on the finals. If it were me going through finals, and a guy I dated for 2 years (even though we just had a break) sent me just a little thoughtful note, wishing me well, I would think it would put a smile on my face.

I will say this, if a note is a good idea, make sure it is light, and not in anyway, giving the impression that you are expecting a response. No "I miss you's" or anything like that.
Wishing her well and just sign you name. Not sure about the flowers, that may be too much. She may feel pressured or obligated to respond.

I hope this is not a wrong suggestion.

[Skell]

Just to agree with the others here;

Give her some space. She seems like she is under a lot of pressure and the last thing you want to be doing is putting more on her.

She has dropped a bombshell in you by saying this, and whether you think it or not, need some time now to yourself as much as she does.

You need some time to calm your emotions, evaluate the relationship and how it can move forward.

I know what your thinking too. If I give her space and not talk to her she will drift away. Well, not really the case. She won't simply forget you and what you have / had. She just needs some time to clear her head as well and evaluate what she wants.

In this time she may decide that it best not to pursue anything with you right now. Contrastingly she may realise that she loves you and over reacted to the pressues on her at the moment and would like to try and make it work.

Who knows what will happen and I can guarantee nothing in respect to what she will do or what she is actually thinking.

What I can guarantee is that no amount of crying, pleading, pushing, pressure, phone calls, love letter etc will bring her back to you right now. I promise you that.

You need to let her be and work out for herself what she wants.

You seem like a pretty level headed and clear thinking person. So take people advice here on board and just relax as best you can for a while and do some thinking.

Time to occupy your life with other things to keep your mind off her. Join a gym, workout, run, further education etc. Hag with friends and family while you are hurting. Work out what went wrong and how you can be better IF things change in the future and you two try again.

But right now, forget her and let her worry about her. You worry about you.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[Wildcat21]

I REALLY like the note idea. No pressure. No needy in the note.

Maybe a funny card - there is a great card store chain called Papyrus (or something like that) here is Chicago that has really great funny cards.

[s_cianci]

You seem to have a good handle on the situation and have raised some very good points in your post. Continue to lay low, don't contact her and give her the space she says she needs. Keep busy with your own life so that you don't have any time to obsess about her. Let her realize that you can be just as happy without her as with her. This will impress her and increase your chances of eventually getting back with her.

[MeeDee23]

I really think I have grown stronger from this whole situation already... and I really do appreciate everyone's input. I mostly feel that keeping no contact is the best idea. But I also worry about what she is going through with all the stress and pressure from final exams falling upon her right now. This is why I like the idea of a simple note to brighten her day... because I feel there is not much she is smiling about right now.

I just don't know if I should go through with sending her a nice quick encouragement note or stay away all together and let her find her own path through it all...

[talaniman]

I realise your trying to help, and the note will probably make you feel better, as to her... no way to tell how she will react. YOU know her better, so as long as you know your own motivations behind this... a quick note of encouragement would be fine.

[brokenhearted1515]

I got "the only difference between a rut and a grave is dimentions"... still don't know what he meant by that... and over time, don't really care.