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amicon · Dec 17, 2009, 07:59 AM

Great news-keep going.
I can only speak for myself but I'm good thanks. :-)

fearxfear · Dec 17, 2009, 08:03 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

Great news-keep going.
I can only speak for myself but I'm good thanks. :-)

That's good ~ these season time are rough... would you guys even mail a merry Christmas card or probably not.

talaniman · Dec 17, 2009, 08:48 AM

Confession- I have in the past, but did so out of courtesy, and care, but had no expectations of anything back, and honestly, never gave it a second thought. Hmm, never got anything back either. No biggie.

If its going to freak you out, one way or another, then don't do it. As fresh as your break up is, I wouldn't do it.

fearxfear · Dec 17, 2009, 09:23 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Confession- I have in the past, but did so out of courtesy, and care, but had no expectations of anything back, and honestly, never gave it a second thought. Hmm, never got anything back either. No biggie.

If its going to freak you out, one way or another, then don't do it. As fresh as your break up is, I wouldn't do it.

I'm really confused on that... I actually don't know how I'm going to react. I pretty much know she isn't coming back but I feel it be nice. But then again I did tell her we wouldn't talk again so I feel that would make it look like I don't stand by my word...

amicon · Dec 17, 2009, 10:10 AM

I don't think it's a good idea.
Plus you you might be expecting something back.
I vote don't send.

talaniman · Dec 17, 2009, 11:10 AM

then again I did tell her we wouldn't talk again so I feel that would make it look like I don't stand by my word...

That's enough to not send her anything.

" Say what you mean, and mean what you say!".

fearxfear · Dec 17, 2009, 11:36 AM

Yeah I'm not going to do it... thank guys

amicon · Dec 17, 2009, 12:09 PM

It!s for the best. It boils down to making a decision and sticking to it.

fearxfear · Dec 17, 2009, 12:34 PM

Yeah.. its this damn holiday seasoning... just feel like I'm going to be forgotten... just sucks

amicon · Dec 17, 2009, 12:43 PM

Try to have a good time with family and friends,and leave the past in the past.

fearxfear · Dec 17, 2009, 12:59 PM

Originally Posted by amicon

Try to have a good time with family and friends,and leave the past in the past.

Yeah I've been doing that... how did you deal with that thought of moving on and meeting someone else. I mean is it just time or just like someone else and just went with it. I mean I meet new pple and I wonder do I like this girl or am I just lonely and what if my ex comes bak or we bump into each other.

bjohnrupp · Dec 17, 2009, 01:36 PM

I'm struugling with the same thoughts Fear. I've been meeting new people and its just confusing me because I also wonder if I like the girl or if I'm just lonely. I know that if my ex came back I'd give it one more shot with her- this way if it still didn't work out at least I'd feel better in knowing that I tried. I'm meeting new girls and going on dates but end up blowing them all off after 1 date. I just don't want to settle- its so much better when you're with someone you adore and is 100% your type I realized. Are you the same way?

fearxfear · Dec 17, 2009, 02:07 PM

Originally Posted by bjohnrupp

I'm struugling with the same thoughts Fear. I've been meeting new people and its just confusing me because I also wonder if I like the girl or if I'm just lonely. I know that if my ex came back I'd give it one more shot with her- this way if it still didnt work out at least I'd feel better in knowing that I tried. I'm meeting new girls and going on dates but end up blowing them all off after 1 date. I just dont want to settle- its so much better when you're with someone you adore and is 100% your type I realized. Are you the same way?

Took the words right from my mind... I was hoping you had a solution rather then joining me on this issue lol

talaniman · Dec 17, 2009, 03:19 PM

Only through experience will you learn that even being 100% compatible feelings can change. That's just life, and you will have a few of those experiences.

What you both have control over is to heal, and be ready for the next life challenge.

Hey, you tried already, and it simply didn't work out for whatever reason, so you deal with the fallout, and accept that its time for another way.

Acceptance of the facts is the key to moving along with your life. You will be stuck in the past until you do.

It would be a really simple thing to let go, if such intense feelings were not involved. You must accept them, and deal with them. That's a fact, also.

Make the decision to move ahead with your life, and a plan to stick to it.

bjohnrupp · Dec 17, 2009, 03:30 PM

Originally Posted by fearxfear

took the words right from my mind .... i was hoping you had a solution rather then joining me on this issue lol

Well I'm glad Tal was able to come up with an answer. One of the things that has helped me is knowing that there are so many other people that are going through the same thing and EVERYBODY struggles being dumped. If you're able to move on quickly without any hurt then you're either not human or simply weren't in love.

fearxfear · Dec 18, 2009, 09:15 AM

Originally Posted by bjohnrupp

well I'm glad Tal was able to come up with an answer. One of the things that has helped me is knowing that there are so many other people that are going thru the same thing and EVERYBODY struggles being dumped. If you're able to move on quickly without any hurt then you're either not human or simply weren't in love.

I agree with that... I dun know.. I just feel some of the pple I meet... I can't figure if I like them or just trying to fill a void or am I thinking too much. Should you ever be friends with your ex... its just a big mess of emotions lol

talaniman · Dec 18, 2009, 09:20 AM

I can't figure if I like them or just trying to fill a void or am I thinking too much. Should u ever be friends with your ex... its just a big mess of emotions lol

The confusion will pass in time, and you will be able to tell the difference.

Newguy2009 · Dec 18, 2009, 09:39 AM

Originally Posted by bjohnrupp

One of the things that has helped me is knowing that there are so many other people that are going thru the same thing and EVERYBODY struggles being dumped.

I just came back from my smoke break at work and there were about 5 older gentlemen, my buddies (40-50years old) that were talking about divorce and custody battles and all this jazz. I usually talk to them but this time I just listened. Be glad you weren't married. That's even worse.

bjohnrupp - You are so right! Im in the boat but am slowly moving on, I know I can tell now. There are so many people that are going through the same thing and a lot worse

Fear- In the beginning of my breakup, a little over 2 months ago, I felt the same way you do and I still feel pain but I can tell my heart IS HEALING! I didn't call her for thanksgiving and Im not going to for Christmas either. Listen to these guys and get on with yourself. Every time you make any type of contact, you are resetting the healing process and only hurting yourself. Its like putting salt on an open wound. (she told me that one time during the breakup about something else though)

Stay strong and be cool homie. It does get better, I didn't believe it at first but I am starting to see the light. Today was the first day I woke up and she wasn't the first thing on my mind. Progress! You can do it!!

fearxfear · Dec 28, 2009, 11:03 AM

Hey guys... been some time! Just seeing how everyone is doing~ I for one have gotten better but I still think of her from time to time and I wonder if she ever thinks of me. I always wonder if I should ever reach out to her again. Do you guys ever come with these thoughts because you tell them to not contact us and pretty much the ball is in our court to reach back out to them? Ugh I can't wait till these holidays past!

88sunflower · Dec 28, 2009, 11:22 AM

No no no don't reach out to her. You have already said you have gotten better. Maybe your not 100% again but your better. You reach out to her and your going to fall back again. Don't do it. Stop thinking about it and keep going forward. If you talk to her once you will have to start all over again. Don't do that to yourself.