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Junior Member
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Nov 20, 2009, 07:43 AM
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I just want to thank everybody for the advice! Some have been more optimistic for me than others. But I guess only time will tell what will become of me and the ex, until then I just need to live life and things will always sort themselves out.
Everything happens for a reason, we might not realize at this time but later down the road the grand picture becomes more clear.
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Junior Member
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Dec 12, 2009, 07:47 PM
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***Update***
So it's been over 3 months now since the break up, and I am doing much better. Not as constantly depressed like I was, but I still think about her everyday! Still to this day there has been NC between us. Thanksgiving was really hard because for the last 3 years I have always spent it with her and her family.
As you all know she has blocked me on Facebook, still to this day my friends report that she still has pictures of me and her up. Not sure if it means anything or not, so I don't know.
Everyday I still wonder if she will ever want to talk to me again later down the road. It’s going to be hard around x-mas because she will be home from college and I’m not sure what that is going to bring. It’s just going to be hard knowing that she will be only 20 minutes from me for the month. It’s tough because the biggest part of your life is now a stranger and a ghost.
But in the mean time, I have been going to gym and finally gained back all of my weight that I lost when I was depressed. Also I have been hanging out with a girl from work a couple times a week. We actually ended up "hooking up", I feel bad because I don’t even really like this girl. Meaning she is an awesome chick to hang out with, but I don’t want anything more than that with her. I think we have the title "friends with benefits”, I feel bad since I’m not even attracted to this girl, I just feel like I’m using her for my own pleasure.
All in all I'm doing better, and kind of accepted that this is the way things are going to be. But still miss her like crazy!
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Marriage Expert
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Dec 12, 2009, 09:21 PM
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I am glad you are doing better. It sounds like you need to ask your friends to stop 'reporting' about her Facebook page. It seems to be helping to slow down your healing.
As for the new girl, if you end up feeling bad about possibly using her, then don't have sex with her. It sounds like her friendship may be what you need or that you may be more attracted to her than you have let yourself believe.
Keep up the good work of getting your life back. Stay strong and I know you will make it through the Winter Break.
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Junior Member
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Dec 13, 2009, 06:57 PM
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Its not that my friends are reporting her activity for me, in fact they aren't telling me anything at all. I was the one to come and ask them to let me know if she still had the pics of me still up or not. If she had taken them down, I has going to put a box of all her stuff(old letters, pics, and things she may have got for me) in front of her door. I am still contemplating that idea whether she will ever take down the pics. Or is that to childish and immature of me?
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Expert
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Dec 13, 2009, 07:44 PM
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Or is that to childish and immature of me?
Neither, but it shows your holding false hope, based on a friggin social site. Not a very good bases for letting go, and dealing with what you have now. Hope the new girl knows how you really feel, and you can imagine how that would make her feel, knowing your still pining away for a long gone ex.
I feel bad since I'm not even attracted to this girl, I just feel like I'm using her for my own pleasure.
That's sad and selfish, and you should feel bad about it.
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Junior Member
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Jan 1, 2010, 10:31 PM
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Sup shult just checking how your doing
Hopefully your christmas and new years was fun!
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Junior Member
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Jan 2, 2010, 04:07 PM
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My Chirstmas and New Years were good, although this is the first year in 4 that I have not spent the Holidays with her so that was a little tough. But I was with friends and family so that made it easier. How was yours?
The other day I was on Facebook and I saw that my ex unblocked me. I got excited over it, but did my best not to over analyze and look to deep into it. But I did anyway, only naturally! And then today she blocked me again, I have a feeling that somehow Facebook privacy settings got a little scewed and she quickly corrected it! Im so mad at myself though because I thought she unblocked me so I got so excited only to have my hopes and dreams crushed yet again!
Losing the one person in life I loved the most over a couple immature mistakes I made is the hardest thing I have ever had to do!
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Uber Member
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Jan 2, 2010, 04:18 PM
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So stay off Facebook-I hope you get over the setback quickly and can continue to move on with your life.
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Junior Member
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Jan 2, 2010, 04:49 PM
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Im on Facebook everyday to keep up with all my friends, it just so happened that this incident happened. Oh well... things are now no different then they were a week ago
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New Member
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Jan 13, 2010, 10:48 PM
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Hey MK pretty crazy life you have. I am going through a similar situation. My girlfriend (now ex) of a year broke up with me a week ago. Her reason was a little different and I did nothing but love her. We are older than you and she has three kids and just finalized her divorce last month. She told me that she wants to be alone and that I can stop calling her, texting her, and seeing her. She blocked me on MSN chat as well. We were looking at engagement rings and planning on spending our lives together. All of a sudden she just wants to be alone and be independent and does not want a man in her life. She has had a tough year and may be depressed, but her mood changed so suddenly. She has wanted space before and we have taken short breaks, but it has never been like this. She won't talk to me and I miss her so much. I have not called her since she told me not to contact her. It has been a week and I am wondering if she will contact me. I'm just trying to better myself and move on. But when you love someone it is impossible to forget them. I would love for her to come back to me. Are you moved on from your ex or do you still have hope that you will see her again?
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Ultra Member
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Jan 14, 2010, 06:33 AM
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Timmy, to better help with your problem you should start your own thread
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Junior Member
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Feb 9, 2010, 03:50 PM
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Dude sorry to tell you that as much time that has passed I think you lost her for good. You have tried trhe no contact deal and it hasn't worked. I think she moved on. My situation is different my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was controlling. But yet she looks for me to please her sexual needs telling me I'm the only man she trust to make love with but she doesn't want to try this relationship out anymore. I don't seem to have the courage to try no contact. I continue to text her. It might be because gives me mixed feelings. Dude I feel like crap too. Guess what her name is really sara lol
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New Member
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Feb 9, 2010, 03:55 PM
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Im sorry but you're wondering why you ex won't talk to you?
Maybe if you didn't sleep with other people she would.
How do you need help answering this?
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Junior Member
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Feb 9, 2010, 06:51 PM
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Dude... my girlfriend left me for NO reason out of the blue... I did everything right!! On your hand you cheated on her multiple times and lied... man you deserve her to leave u. at least you have closure and know why she left. I have nothing... dude don't take for granite those you love... for one day they may be gone forever.
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Junior Member
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Feb 14, 2010, 04:16 PM
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I have to correct everyone I only cheated on my ex once... not multiple times!! But I learned that once is enough!!
Time has passed since I have last been on here and some things have happened...
For one I am pretty sure my ex sabotaged my motorcycle. Basically while she was in the area for her Christmas break from school and somebody cut my kickstand sensor. I know what everybody is thinking…that it could have been anybody. But she is the only person who knows where I live. It wouldn’t have seemed so suspicious except for that fact that my friends told me that she took them off her Facebook friends list around the same time. I have a slight feeling that she maybe trying to get a reaction out of me since I didn’t try and contact her during the Holidays and her Birthday. What do you think?
Have I moved on?. Kind of. I still think about her everyday and if she will ever talk to me again. I am still hopeful that one day we will talk again, but I do not dwell upon it anymore. There are some days when I think about her all the time and other days that I don’t seem to think of her at all. It has now been a little over 5 months since we have seen or spoke with each other.
I have been meeting other girls, and that has helped keep my mind occupied and off my ex as much. But it seems like every girl I meet doesn’t measure up to what my ex was. I am now fearful that I will never meet anyone as good as her.
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Expert
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Feb 14, 2010, 04:34 PM
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You won't feel that way after a while, so don't worry.
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Junior Member
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Feb 14, 2010, 06:57 PM
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K let me get this straight... in one line you say you know she sabotaged your motorcycle and then you say you will never find anyone that measures up? DUDE!! Get this chick off the pedestal and look at her for the psycho she is!! ( if what you say is true.) She is not as great as you make her out in your mind... I firmly believe the longer you go NC and move on you will definetely realize this... keep your head up little soldier, there's better days ahead.
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New Member
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Feb 21, 2011, 10:01 PM
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My story was the same until the part where you slept with your common friend. The ***** told her I asked her out to a motel, so my GF waited for me to tell her what I did but in my mind we were going for a coffee kind of going out. Well she seemed more pissed about that me not telling her that anything else, also she wasn't able to forgive me because the times we fought she listed every single mistake we did with date and place. She lives close from home and the thought of seeing her with someone else one of this days is hell to me, although I love her since day one and I want to believe she does as well and was brainwashed by her friends. My mom passed away a couple weeks after our breaking up, she attended, and was more than understanding and supporting, I saw the sunshine coming out the shade, she didn't answered me after that, we talked on December 24th and the 31th in a very good way, compared with what we talked about the last weeks of our relationship, but after that nothing, even hanging up before picking the calls. We all had plans with our women but man at this awful time you can't picture another face in your perfect house family frame. Relationships are sweet to start but bitter as hell to end.
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